ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 29

I lower myself, sliding, onto Damien's hard dick and both of our eyes roll back into our heads. I moan his name and rock back onto him, with my hands running up me, to gently twist and pull on my nipples, and I laugh at how Damien practically drools at the sight of me. I lean over him and all of my hair falls in a curtain around his face, and he says, "I love you," against my mouth. "I love you too," and it feels insufficient to how I really feel about him. I feel like without him, I would want to die. I would exist, but I would feel like I'm barely living. I wouldn't feel alive; electrified. I wouldn't be happy without him. I need him as much as I hope he needs me, forever.

He opens his mouth and I suck on his tongue, and he runs his hands over my butt, and lifts it up and down over him, as I moan and sigh into his mouth. "Fuck, I want to feel you; all of you. I'm tired of these condoms," and he groans, lifting me up and I feel like my ass cheeks are bouncing as he is grinding his hips into mine. I place both of my hands on the wall behind his head, and I feel like the pressure is building within me, and I sigh. But, he stops and lifts me to still sit on top of him, but he is also sitting up, now, and I wrap my arms around him and rock up and down; faster and faster, gliding and moaning, "Damien," over and over. I feel high on the electric passion between us, and like I don't ever want to come back down.

"Fuck... fuck, stop, babe.... babe -"

He pushes me to lay beneath him, and I still rock my hips into his, and push him into me further, with the backs of my heels, locking him to me. He kisses that spot on my neck that instantly turns me on, and I run my nails into his back, scraping all of the way up, and I bite his shoulder, and laugh. "Fuck," and he pulls out of me, to spill onto me while touching himself, and I feel like I'm drooling, staring at him with comical heart-shaped eyes, even though I'm starting to feel edgy from not getting any type of release, and it feels like a rubber band is hitting my clit, or I feel some type of strange pulse, there. But, then I notice that the condom has broken and his dick looks like it is being suffocated, because it was obviously too big for it, even though it was a Magnum. "Omg, are you ok???!"

"Now, you see why I hate this."

I look away, and he hands me a towel. "Let's cuddle," he suggests, and I feel like I can't turn my mind off, although I wish that I could. I love Damien, and he makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt in my life. He makes me feel like he understands me - but, does he really?

I go to the gynecologist for the first time in my life, because I'm late, and it is vastly stressing me out about how I haven't been regular all year, and Damien doesn't want to wear a condom, or when he does, it always breaks. I wish that our connection would translate better to the physical part of our relationship, because although I love to make out with him, we don't seem to be on the same page, sex-wise. He thinks that a longer duration of time always equals an amazing, phenomenal experience, and I think that basically, if I haven't had a mind-blowing orgasm within the first twenty minutes, it's not happening and I start to get bored as my mind wanders. Literally, whenever I'm close, he completely stops to make himself last close to two hours, and afterwards, I feel like pulling out my own hair, and it is so frustrating. I feel like it is something that I can do more effectively and faster, myself. It seems like he has gotten all of his tips and tricks from fantastical, punishing porn videos that don't represent real life, and his clueless ex-girlfriends. I can't even talk to him about this, because he gets wildly defensive as he feels like it is an egregious attack on his character, which is even more aggravating. How can we grow as a couple if I can't trust him, and I don't even want to have sex with him? I want to, but it often feels like it is more for his benefit. I keep trying, even though it is futile.

The gynecologist walks into the room, and she flips up the paper on her clipboard. "Well, you're not pregnant. But, based on your symptoms and ultrasound, I believe that you have PCOS. I think that you should take Yaz to regulate yourself. It is $100 per month, though. You may never have children, because of this condition, but I wouldn't completely rule it out."