ETHEREAL

CHAPTER 32

I've worked my ass off for the past 3 months trying to work for MAC. After years of being obsessed with their make-up, in addition to utilizing it as a form of art therapy to vent and escape from the infinite frustration that I feel from my toxic relationship, fake friends and smothering life at home, I've decided that I love the power of transformation in regard to make-up, and I want to make others feel as good as I feel when I beautify myself into a real life work of art. It probably comes from a place of childhood trauma, as 99% of my cruel, pseudo friends and classmates would sneer at my face and call me ugly throughout my whole life until I was about 14 or so, which is when I became excessively obsessed with make-up and how to make myself the most beautiful, adored person in the room. Ironically, that also makes me supremely uncomfortable and awkward, as I hate when people stare at me and I don't know what to say when they compliment me. I may be the only Leo that wants to be a stunning, gorgeous knockout in hiding.

I've never had to work so hard to obtain a job in my entire life, as I first had to practically beg to procure the first interview, in which the Regional Manager and Store Manager grilled me on the history of MAC, my work experience and why I want to work for them,  and now, I have to bring a model to my second interview for the make-up test.  I decide to bring my mom, and the Assistant Regional Manager is incredibly impressed with the transformation that she offers me the Make-Up Artist position at the top store in the Mid-Atlantic, in which you have to be the best of the best to work there. It feels like such an honor, and overwhelming at the same time.

I'm still reeling over the backhanded compliment that she said to me ("I didn't think that you would be that good at applying make-up! Wow! I didn't think that you could even make your mom look that good - in only half an hour! You didn't even need the full hour, wow"), when my mom interrupts my buzzing thoughts. "Are you going to accept the job that your father has set up for you, or take this MAC job?"

As I'm about to graduate cum laude, with a cumulative 3.5 GPA (my parents think that I could've done better) from the University of Maryland,  my dad has set up an entry-level position at the tech company that he works for, even though I didn't ask him to do that, because I decided that I would rather be a make-up artist, as that feels more fulfilling to me, rather than sitting in a stale, 9-5 job. I feel grateful, but annoyed for their presumption that I would even want to work there, because he didn't even ask me before setting it up, and I hate how I might make him look bad by turning it down.

"No, I worked so hard to get into MAC... I'm not passing that up to work for Amazon - plus, I don't want everyone thinking that I got the job, just because I knew someone, when I don't even know coding like he does, like they'll expect me to be some mini genius version of him," and I roll my eyes.

"Skye, I think that you should really think carefully about this. I don't agree with how your father thinks that working for MAC isn't a 'real job,' because I think that you're good at this, and you can go far if you believe in yourself and don't quit at the first obstacle, but... maybe think about the financials. Remember how your father co-signed that car for his friend, and now that friend has disappeared, and left us with the car? We owe $32,000 for that, and our finances have already been drained from how my medical bills were $20,000 last year."

The amount of credit card debt and debt in general that my parents and myself have feels like it is burying us alive. We even charge for groceries and essentials, because all of the cash that my dad makes simply goes towards paying credit card minimums. It is a revolving, suffocating, and epically frustrating cycle. I don't know if we will ever recover from losing $52,000, and wiping out the rest of my parents' 401K to pay for the half of my college education that wasn't covered by my scholarship - something that I never even wanted, but I was forced to obtain, as my father's side of the family is obsessed with collecting meaningless degrees. I never believed in the institution of college. I wanted to use the money to start my own business. I feel like it sounds ungrateful, but I often feel like a doll that other people manipulate, and I do whatever they want.