Let Go

Chapter 9- Lamentation

The weather went placid for a moment. The wind stopped howling and the eerie sound of crashing snow from the tree branches began to fade. Seokjin looked outside the window and a bleak light started to spread from the horizon.

"It's almost morning. Jimin should be back soon." Namjoon spoke in between subdued groans of pain.

"Jimin is...?" Hoseok asked.

"Christian." Seokjin replied.

"How do you all get to change your names? I almost didn't recognize you all. Although I thought Jin looked familiar when I first set my eyes on him." he turned to look at Seokjin "I almost thought you are a female until you spoke. And in my mind, I only remember one person who possessed such beauty."

"Don't flatter him too much." Namjoon warned with a silly smile plastered on his face.

"What do you even mean? I was born handsome." he joked. Everyone laughed, he sounded so serious when he said it. Then there was a momentary pause. "We joined a government-supported agency. We were registered under our Korean names. You know, the names we were supposed to use in case we get adopted? Suga stole that ledger because he wanted to remove his name on the records, he didn't want to leave Christian. I guess somehow, it was a blessing in disguise that we got it before everything happened. There were rigorous trainings we have to go through, no age limit, no gender special treatment and no political or religious views discrimination. When we first left Dalbang, we became street children, if you'd still call us children back then. Suga and I were both fourteen. We can't take the same Surname if we're to pretend to be siblings, so he took his real surname under his family's hierarchy. He registered under the name Min Yoongi. Christian used Sister Natalie's surname, Park, and his deceased sister's name, Ji Woo, and added Yoongi's last name as a part of his name. Hence, Park Ji-Min. Randa and I, we had to pretend to be a young couple from Gyeonggi Province. I used my sister's identity, Kim Eun Jun, and our lineage to make it appear that Namjoon is my spouse. We spent almost two years on the streets, and I'd have to admit, I've lost a lot of weight and my hair grew long... it was almost impossible to recognize that I was not a female back then. It was easy to lie about my gender and age at the time. I wrote Vante's name as Kim Taehyung in my family registry as a deceased son. I didn't put the birth information at all. "

"Even poverty can't make him ugly. He went from Handsome to Beautiful." Namjoon commented. "And I look and speak older than my age. I had to pretend to be a foreign blood. Thanks to all the books I've read, I was able to pull off my stunt speaking in English and Japanese."

"Jungkook was taken into custody by a well-off family. He was almost 9 that time. He requested not to change his name. So he just took his family's surname and was registered as Jeon Jungkook under their family registry. During the custodian assessment, Jungkook was diagnosed with post-traumatic amnesia and borderline personality disorder. His new parents sent him to a psychiatric rehabilitation institution. I don't know what happened there. But after three years, he came into the organization and registered as a trainee. He could recognize us, but he doesn't remember our names. He doesn't remember Vante as well. I thought it would be for the best. He looked so much better now. After we graduated, we were sent to a new training ground. They said it was to test our physical and mental strength. That's how we found Yoongi and Jimin again. We had some catching up talk but Yoongi has definitely changed a lot."

"I thought to myself, we have to stick together if we want to survive this final test like we did before." Namjoon added.

"I wasn't getting any younger, and it was getting difficult to hide my identity. My voice started to gradually go deeper, and the physical exam would soon expose me. The night before we get to be sent to the training grounds, we ran away. We went to Incheon and registered under a new name, Kim Seokjin, and declared myself as sole survivor of the Plane Tragedy of 2003. I was able to retrieve all my inheritance, but I won't be able to take any of it until I reach the legal age of 21."

"And... then, you were sent here?"

"Two weeks ago, I turned 21. My real birthday is on the fourth of December. Two days before my birthday, all of the survivors of Dangbal incident was called out. I'm pretty sure it wasn't by chance that you were here either. When we woke up, the first thing that popped into my head was to look for Jungkook and Namjoon. I found Jimin and Yoongi first, we found this cabin together. We then decided to split up. I looked for Namjoon and Jungkook and the others who might have survived, while Jimin and Yoongi looked for the closest possible area to ask for help or way to go back to South Korea. We aren't even sure if we are still in South Korea, or wherever the hell this place is, for God's sake."

"And Jungkook, why is he suddenly speaking of Vante? You said he can't remember him when he arrived as a trainee."

"When I went to look for survivors here, he was the one who found me. He called me Eomma Jin. He used to call me that only when he was small, if you could still remember. Then, I found Namjoon. At first, he'd talk like a kid, he called Namjoon "Randa-hyung". It's as if he had gone back to his childhood memories, with no recollection of the recent years. It's been almost two weeks, and everytime he'd ask me if he can go out, he'd say "V-hyung and I will play outside". If I hadn't known, I would have believed he was playing with a kid outside. But what scared me was recently, he'd go to dangerous places, looking for him. And he'd say lies that sounded so real to him so I decided to keep him inside the cabin instead. He'd always do something that would injure him, but this is the first time he actually did something fatal. And on the same day. Lately, things have become so heavy, I'm not sure how to survive anymore. I'm not sure if I want to survive at all."

"We'll work it out." Despite the pain, Namjoon stood and gave Seokjin a warm hug. "Am I misunderstanding something here? They don't seem to be just acting for Jungkook's sake." Hoseok thought to himself quietly as he watched how Seokjin's expression soften. He gave a faint smile. "We just have to be strong and have faith to each other, alright?" Namjoon consoled, Seokjin nodded gently. "You're right. I'm sorry if I'm being emotional." he uttered.

In the midst of all that's happening, the door busted open. It slammed violently, leaving a dent on the wooden wall of the cabin. "Seokjinie! We found the cargo ship! It's 25 kilometers south of here." Yoongi yelled excitedly. "The only survivors were us. I found two other people last night, but they were also dead when I woke up this morning. They said there's a person called Slow Rabbit and Sleepy who works at the dock, sending people out of this island. They were also trying to find them but no one succeeded. We tried our luck as well. But we thought we should inform you first and then, we'll go together."

"How are you doing, hyung? Did you find any survivors? I found a deer on my way here. Let's eat first and bring some for later if we'll travel back to the dock. It'll be a very long walk." Jimin heaved, as he flopped the deer on the ground.

Jungkook rose up at the sound of his voice, not minding the trickling pain in his mouth. He shouted, "Chish-chan-hyung!" his little lisps sounded sharply in his excitement. He ran towards Jimin with a huge smile on his face. "It's you! It really is you! Here! Take this!" he handed him something. It was a little rectangular thin deck of what looks like glossy sheets of white paper. "Kookie??..." his hands started to tremble and the color on his face was washed out with fear.

"What is that?" Seokjin worriedly asked.

With his almost frozen hands, he turned the small sheets of glossy papers in his hand. It was a set polaroid photos.

"Bwii-hyung said you will come back in the morning, and I should give you that! He said he missed you so much, he'll see you soon!"

"H-how??" Jimin could barely speak, stuttering in horror. "All these photos are the ones I've taken with just the two of us." his hand felt numb and the photos dropped to the floor. Hoseok picked them up and scanned each one carefully. "Vante is with them in all these polaroid photos."