Fighting For My Soul

Digging Coal

Liz sat in the hospital room in a chair next to Raylan. The doctor had decided to keep him for observation. She was tired from the last few days and relieved to be allowed to sit down and relax. She leaned back and propped her feet on the edge of Raylan's bed ready to drift off to sleep to take a much needed nap. A knock on the door interrupted her drift. She looked over to see Raven standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she said standing up.

"How is he?" Raven asked seeing Raylan was sleep.

"Doctor just wants to keep an eye on him incase the bullet hit anything major," Liz informed her, "but otherwise he will be back to Raylan in no time."

"I can hear you," Raylan's groggy voice drifted over to the two woman.

"Hey Marshal," Raven walked over talking his hand in hers.

"Hey you," he grinned at her.

"Heard Liz saved your life," Raven smiled.

"Ya she did," Raylan looked over at Liz.

"Ill leave you two alone," Liz stepped out of the room.

She pulled out her phone and decided to give Tim a call.

"Hello?" Tim's voice came over the line.

"You down for a drink?" She asked.

"Sure," Tim replied, "usual place?"

"Sounds good," she said, "see you in a few."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Tim got there, Liz was already working on her second glass of whiskey. He sat down and she slide one across the bar to him.

"On me," she said.

"Thanks," he nodded to her.

"You ever find yourself acting on an instinct that you didnt know you had?" Liz asked, "almost like auto-pilot kicks on?"

"Sometimes," Tim answered, "that how you felt when you shot Doyle?"

"Ya," Liz took a sip of her whiskey.

"You'll find that to be a normal thing," Tim said, "all this training built up in your system. You catch a trigger and your brain goes to what it's been conditioned to do."

"Wish it didnt come with the PTSD," Liz commented.

"A lot of us wish that," Tim's voice a little softer then normal.

"I remember the last time I made a shot like that...," Liz took a deep breath before continuing, "we were in Baghdad and we got ambushed. I was providing cover why the rest of my squad got into vehicles. One of my fellow marshals got hit in the side much like Raylan did. He fell right next to me and I turned and fired dropping just like I did Doyle."

"Lot more distractions in a war zone too," Tim added.

"A fear of getting hit by unseen enemies," Liz held her glass unsure if she wanted to continue drinking it.

"I used to sit on rooftops for days," Tim started in on a story, "watching targets waiting for the call to take them out. So many times I found myself wondering if I could make certain shots."

"You ever miss?" Liz asked.

"My hand writing is shit, I cant shoot a basketball," Tim pointed at her, "but I dont miss."

"Got it deadeye," she laughed.

The sound of something smashing to the ground made Liz stand straight up. She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Her hand found her sidearm as her eyes scanned the room.  Her heart rate was elevated and she was ready to act at the littlest sign of disturbance. Tim stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. She pulled her gun and pointed it at him. Tim stood with his hands up in defense. All eyes were on her.

In Liz's head, she wasn't in the bar anymore. She was standing in a war zone having a stand off with a terrorist.

"Stand down!" She yelled.

"Liz put the gun down," Tim's voice calm, "no one is trying to hurt you."

"I said stand down!" She ordered.

One of the patrons stepped forward but Tim raised a hand to him.

"US Marshal," he said, "stand down. I've got this."

They both stood across the eachother waiting for the other to make a move. Tim was calculating if he could make it to her before she pulled the trigger. He decided trying to talk her back into reality would be the easier option rather then risk being shot.

"Liz this is Tim Gutterson and I order you to stand down!" He said sternly.

"I dont believe you!" She snapped.

"Liz," he said, "you're in lexington. You're partners with Raylan Givens. You just shot Doyle Bennett and saved Raylans life. You're in a bar with me to chat about episodes like this."

She snapped back to reality and dropped her gun. She fell to the floor feeling tears make their way to her eyes. She broke down sobbing. Tim picked her up and guided her out to the car apologizing to the bartender in their way out. They got his car and he opened the door setting her in the backseat.

"Tim I'm so sorry!" She sobbed.

"You're ok Liz," he reassured her, "no one got hurt and you're alright."

"But I could have shot you!"

"Then you would have shot me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raven's phone went off and she excused herself from Raylan's room.

"This is Raven," she answered.

"Hey Raven its Tim," he said.

"Hey Tim what's up?" She asked.

"Can you come and get Liz?" He asked.

"What happened?" Raven got concerned.

"She had an episode and I dont want her driving," he explained.

"Text me the address and I'll be there soon," she said.

"Thanks Raven," with that Tim hung up.

She walked back into Raylan's room letting out a deep sigh.

"I've got to go get Liz," she said.

"She ok?" Raylan sat up in bed then instantly regretted the decision.

"Ya," she said, "she had a PTSD episode."

"Tell her I hope shes ok," he nodded. 

"I will," Raven gave him a kiss. "I'll be back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She pulled up to find Liz sitting on the ground next to Tim's car. Raven parked then got out to check on her friend.

"You alright?" Raven asked.

"Ya," Liz wiped the tears from her eyes, "I just had a moment."

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her Tim," Raven nodded to the Marshal.

"No problem," Tim helped Liz into Raven's car, "have a good night you two."

"Thanks Tim," Liz said then shut the car door.

"What set it off?" Raven asked.

"I was talking to Tim about Baghdad and someone dropped something," Loz explained.

"How bad?"

"I almost shot Tim."

Raven bit her lip. Liz was getting worse.

"I'm sorry," was all Raven could find she could say.

"Thanks Raven."