Chaeyoung enjoys the fall more than she does enjoy the hot summer, cold winter and comforting spring. She enjoys walking silently and strolling around the vicinity and away. She enjoys doing nothing too heavy and relax after her tiring part-time job ends every afternoon.
It's okay to not be so productive every once in a while and have a little rest so I could recharge... she always tells herself, convincing the little voice in her head to just give in and let her wander instead of going home only to ovethink.
The sky that day was pretty and blue, with pinches of white cotton compression and cumulated water vapor dangling above her presence. It was rather calming, healing and comforting than screaming danger of a thunderstorm. And Chaeyoung loves just that.
The only season she's doing this kind of leisure during her idle time is autumn, and no other than that. She finds serene and contentment during autumn, thing she doesn't seem to witness in any other season for a resolve and to say it feels just like autumn.
She finds relief especially when the leaves that turned red falls either deliberately or hastily after detaching from a tree branch then covers the ground she steps in. She finds it amusing how she can literally witness how gravity acts upon the falling pieces, and how it has to stop moving when it reaches the ground, unless a force acted upon it to make it dance again on the air.
Sometimes, she also enjoys seeing herself in other people, she loves remembering how she used to be as happy and contented as them, as jolly and as delightful. She remembers thriving for her long gone cheerfulness and joy, but until now, she fails to gather her shattered pieces back together. Back from the day she left without any further notice and explanation, Chaeyoung lost it....
She also remembers some of those other times than autumn, she is locking herself alone, lying on her back lifelessly while facing the empty ceiling and staring blankly at it as if waiting for some interesting action to happen with a usually dead and lazy expression painted within her dark orbs, sometimes with tears rolling down her cheeks like a rushing river, and without anything spoken for she can't put what she feels into any word, she will weep. Some other time, she would let herself drown deep into an empty space filled with thoughts, she would blame herself for everything she thinks was her fault, she would regret most of her mistakes in the past like it hasn't been forgotten even just once, she would question every decisions she actually hated doing, and she would ponder all the things she should have done with all these years. But despite her hidden pain, longing and empty feeling, she still optimistically thinks that she is happy enough during those times. It's just that the overwhelming loneliness is eating her up and she knows nothing to get herself away than crying helplessly. She's contented... she should be.
She smiled and put her own hands inside her sweater's pocket. It's getting colder and colder as the night time slowly approaches, considering that winter is really near. And all she can do is squeeze herself inside the thin sweater, hug herself and feel the cold hitting her body because she still doesn't want to go back home, a home where she only lives alone, to feel the loneliness eating her again, a home she doesn't even know if she can call home. Because she is home and not that house, nor the room with four corners full of things she used to love and things she find valuable...
They say home is where the heart is, but she can't find her home, no, she's lost it and at that moment, she lost herself too. She's nowhere to find as well as the so called home she can really call her home.
She pursed her eyes tightly, and stopped at where she was standing. She felt her heartbeat raise a beat by recalling a damn memory she has always wanted to repeat...
...
Their hands and fingers were tightly locked with their pulse beating in a strangely synchronized pattern under each other's touch. Both their long hair were dancing ever so gracefully as the wind blow.
YOU ARE READING
Autumn Leaves
Teen Fiction[ MiChaeng AU ] An unsaid agreement was made between two strangers. Now, they literally JUST meet at that exact same street during autumn, as uncos, individuals who have no right to judge. Into the fortress of their souls bounded to tangle, entwine...
