Even So//Bang Chan X Reader {Completed}

Chapter 15

"It's not what you think Chan!" I said putting my hands in the air as he walked closer. he smiled softly at me "it's okay Y/n." suddenly my expression turned into an angry one "no it's not!" he looked confused but replied again none the less 

"yes, it is!" 

I get annoyed and walk past Chan and Jisung and right out the door, now you might be asking yourself why I did that? well, cause I felt like every time I do something wrong around him he always forgives me, it makes me feel like I have a handicap that makes him apologize even if it's my fault, I hate it when people pity me. it makes me feel like I can't do anything on my own without others intervening.

I walked into Minho's room, the only one who'd somewhat know about this without me explaining it. "Chan found out," I told him, his eyes widened.  "isn't that a good thing?" he asked and I shook my head "He forgave me!" I said and he looked even more confused "Once again, isn't that a good thing?"

"I feel like he treats me like a child that's only ever going to make mistakes like I'm fragile and like I could break at any moment" I spoke as I paced Minho's shared room with my hands in my hair. 

"well shouldn't you be in the other room telling him this instead of standing in me and Jisung's room?" I froze and glared at him "I can't just tell him to stop babying me!" I almost yelled at him causing him to flinch.

"is this about him forgiving you, or you not being able to forgive yourself?" I fell quiet as I stared at the carpeted floor, noting the unique patterns. 

"Is it because you did wrong and you feel like you should be punished just how your brother hurt you? you want others to hate you the way you hate you?" I gripped my hands into fists to stop them from shaking at the memories resurfacing as tears fell.

"what if I was meant to die in the fire?" I asked lowly but Minho still heard it. "I think that's something you should ask your boyfriend," he said pointing towards to door and my eyes widened as I saw Chan standing there in tears and I wondered why, till I looked down in his hand and saw his phone lit up with a call-in process the name "Minho" at the top of the screen.

Just then as I was going to turn to Minho and scold him like a child for tricking me like that. but he was already out the door, leaving me and Chan in the room on our own. 

"Why?" 

I gave him a confused look

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked and I looked down at the floor again "I was afraid, afraid you'd be mad at me for not being better, for forgetting, for not being the owner of the company that's rightfully mine, for not stopping all of this before it began" I spoke honestly, just then I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I'm just mad you never told me, here I find out you're willing to tell someone you just met this fact, but not your own boyfriend, that makes me think you cant trust me," he said as he looked into my eyes with sad ones of his own.

"I'm kinda happy we have to save the world, cause I wouldn't have gotten to meet you," he said as he pulled me in close, embracing me.

it took me a bit to finally hug back but when I did, I started sobbing not long after "I'm sorry" is the only thing I could repeat, he had an arm around my waist and a hand on my head petting my head softly as he held me and we both swayed

he comforted me till I was finished crying, we separated. 

"you could've at least told me how much of a jerk your brother was," he said with a soft smile "to be honest I don't remember everything yet, but everything slowly coming back to me, just the fact it was brought up in my life again, my brain is slowly giving my memories back from those days." 

it was silent for a little bit before I finally realized something "I guess Seungmin was right, there was a 10th member, and he was right when he said it was me..." after those words left my mouth Chan and I stopped swaying and he pulled away looking at me

"he confronted you about being the 10th member?" he asked and I nodded "when?" he looked serious I wonder why "right before we left on this big trip," I said and he looked at me "And neither of you bothered to tell me this? and I know Minho knows too!" 

he walked away running his hands through his hair "I feel like the only one who didn't know was me, you even told Jisung" he said looking at me like he was on the verge of tears again. "if I'm going to be your boyfriend you need to tell me these things, not tell everyone but the one you're supposed to trust the most"

I looked at the floor as I messed with my fingers out of anxiety 

"No! you're going to look at me!" he said walking closer, when I looked up he was close to me and his voice grew softer

"I love you, I love you as my wonderful girlfriend, they love you as a friend, I'm going to be by your side even when you don't want me there! and I want to know you're willing to trust me as much as I trust you" he spoke, he looked mad

 we looked into each other's eyes, he searched mine waiting for an answer "well do you?" he asked and I was trying to find the right words, how do I tell him the things I've told no one ever?

he looked in my eyes for a bit longer before realizing I wasn't going to say anything, then his eyes looked sad before he turn and started walking out, his hand touched the doorknob, that's when I said something I never thought I'd say

"the only reason my father was going to make me head of the company is cause he raped me" Chan stopped, he was listening but frozen

I wiped my tears away

"it was a bribe, he didn't want me to tell anyone about it!" I yelled and that's when Chan turned around, marched right up to me, and gave me another hug