the half of it

chapter one

grayson moaned as the light to his bedroom flickered on, his mother coming to help get him ready for the day.

he used to have a great relationship with his mother, the kind where they would go years without fighting and although they never really talked each one of them knew there was only love for the other.

his accident put a strain on that, grayson blamed himself. he had been a dick when he got home from the hospital, more embarrassed than mad but still coming off as hostile and angry.

"good morning gray" his mom said as cheerfully as she could as she walked over to her sons bedside, pushing back his curly black hair and kissing him on the forehead.

"morning mom" grayson replied as he reached up to pat his mother on the back, anxious to get out of bed and start his day.

"we have to get ready quick, you have a doctors appointment in two hours" his mom smiled at her son with pity in her eyes, it broke her heart to see him this way.

phantom pains were already starting in his "legs". shooting pain that caused grayson to wince in agoney, barely able to control his face as the pain intensified.

she pulled the duvet off of him and helped grayson sit up, his arms wrapped around her shoulders as they worked together to strap him into the "bucket".

the bucket had a flat underside so grayson could sit up without constantly engaging his core muscles, which had become a 6-pack in a matter of weeks of physical therapy.

grayson kept his arms latched around his mothers neck as she lifted him up and put him into his wheelchair. he could be somewhat independent from here, he wheeled into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

when he came home from the hospital his mother and father had given up their master bedroom to grayson, it was the only one on the main floor so their son wouldn't have to lift himself up the stairs every day.

the cold water soaked his hair and ran down his back, causing shivers to run up his spine as he lathered his hair with conditioner.

his mother and father had dipped into their retirement money to renovate the house to fit graysons needs. they had installed a handle in the shower along with a chair and a ramp, he appreciated it more than they would ever know.

"grayson, breakfast is ready!" his younger brother aaron shouted from the other side of the door, knocking twice before running back into the kitchen.

he rolled out of the shower and stopped in front of the vanity mirror, he could barely recognize himself anymore.

his cheekbones and jaw had become more prominent than ever due to the weight loss while he was in a coma, weight loss that was amplified by the drug abuse that had taken nearly 20 pounds off of him.

grayson pushed over to his dresser and pulled out a dark grey hoodie, long sleeves to cover the old and fresh cuts on his arms and ribs.

noise erupted from the kitchen, if you had just stopped by you would think that nothing was wrong. aaron was sitting at the dinner table while his mom and dad were cooking, his dad giving out hugs right before he walked out the door.

aaron watched carefully as grayson rolled into the kitchen, although he was two years younger than his older brother he had been protective of him since his accident.

grayson rolled into the empty space at the dinner table without a word, another thing the accident had changed. aaron remembered when his brother could barely go two minutes without talking, now he was silently fighting a battle in his own head.

grayson used his good right arm to push his other elbow up on the table, his brain injury making delicate movements nearly impossible and his left arm got the worse of it.

"hey man" aaron greeted his brother, receiving a short nod in response as his brother focused all his attention trying to bring the fork to his mouth.

all aaron wanted to do was sit beside his brother and help him, but he knew grayson would not be pleased. his older brother couldn't accept help, even when he desperately needed it.

"fucking hell" grayson muttered under his breath as he dropped the fork on his plate, covered in his barely touched food.

he put the plate on his lap and went to the garbage can, emptying the food in the trash and loading it into the dishwasher.

"i'm driving you, mom has a business meeting" aaron said as he stood up and walked beside his brother, who was breathing deeply trying to calm the shaking in his arm.

"thanks" grayson muttered through clenched teeth as he rolled out of the kitchen, angry at himself and still hungry.

"let's leave now, i have an errand to run" it was only 30 minutes early, aaron suspected that would be enough time to get his brother into the car and through the drive through of a smoothie place.

grayson rolled himself up right beside the door, placing one hand on the seat as he lifted himself up into the car. aaron stood behind him and made sure he didn't fall, it had only happened once before but that was enough.

aaron started the car and pulled out of the driveway, not saying anything as he reached over and buckled his brothers seatbelt with such swiftness you would barely notice.

five minutes into the drive grayson looked over at his brother and felt guilt wash over him, aaron was going out of his way to do this for him and he hadn't even said thank you.

"hey aaron?" grayson asked, putting on as big of a smile as he could muster.

"what's up?" aaron looked over, worried that something was wrong.

"sorry for being an ass, thanks for the ride" he watched as a look of relief relaxed aaron's face.

"that's what brothers are for, now what do you want from booster juice?" he asked as he pulled into the drive-thru.

they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital a half hour early for the appointment, grayson gave aaron change for the parking fee and although grayson insisted he was fine aaron tagged along.

aaron stayed a couple steps behind, battling his instinct to go and grab the handles of graysons wheelchair as he watched his brothers brow creased in concentration.

when aaron asked the doctors told him that every simple thing that we take for granted, like lifting our fingers or shrugging our shoulders grayson has to concentrate twice as hard on.

aaron often has problems with spiralling which was linked to his OCD, aaron couldn't help but think that if lifting his fingers was twice as hard then how hard was pushing his wheelchair or getting in the car. he couldn't begin to imagine how hard it was.

he gave up, speed walking behind his brother and grabbing the handles of the chair while he pushed him into the hospital.

grayson sighed but didn't fight it, he just didn't have the energy or want to fight with anyone today least of all aaron.