the half of it

Chapter twenty-four

"it's owen calling again" aaron whispered to cameron, unaware that grayson was awake and listening.

"Should we tell him?" Cameron asked from the end of graysons bed, rubbing his temples in worry.

"I don't know how he'll react" aaron answered, soft footsteps pacing around the bedroom.

"Grayson or owen?" Cameron asked for clarification, looking over at grayson who was facing away from him.

"Both, this is the worst I've seen him. It's like he's not even here" aaron sighed, sitting down next to Cameron and dropping his head into his hands.

—

"Morning man" cameron greeted grayson as his eyes fluttered open, a blank stare behind his green eyes.

Cameron waited about thirty seconds for a response but none came. Eventually he gave up and rolled grayson over, setting up a few pillows under him so it would be easier to balance.

Cameron lifted up graysons sweater and shook his head, upset at the sudden weight loss. It wasn't as dramatic as the beginning but about ten pounds was stripped off of him.

"gray, are you up for a shower?" Cameron asked, guessing the answer was a no but still wanting to try.

Grayson didn't answer, laying in silence as Cameron changed the colostomy bag. Tears left sticky runs down his cheeks, his lips chapped and pale.

He slipped into another panic attack, graysons soul returning to his body just to freak out. His breathing was choppy and shallow, chest heaving and his eyes widened. He could faintly hear Cameron's voice trying to ground him but he couldn't catch it.

—

A knock came from the other side of his bedroom door, which was odd because nobody bothered to knock anymore. Choosing to barge straight in as they knew grayson would be in bed.

When no answer from grayson came the door slowly opened, owens head poking through the small crack in the door.

"hi gray, I miss you" owen said as he walked into the room, his socked feet pattering against the hardwood.

"Cameron let me in, you hadn't answered me in a week so I came by" owen whispered, looking over to among side that grayson was awake before sitting down on the bed.

"did i do something wrong? aaron said it's triggered by something, even something small" owen looked tired, stressed as he bounced his knee up and down.

"owen?" grayson rasped, the first thing he had said in a week. Owen looked over at grayson with surprise and longing.

"yeah?" Owen asked, turning to look down at grayson.

"come here?" grayson whispered, those two simple words made graysons face light up.

Owen carefully climbed in behind grayson, hugging grayson tight to his chest as he rested his head against the top of graysons curls.

"I love you gray" owen whispered, a smile still plastered on his face as he looked at grayson in his arms.

"I love you o" grayson responded, his hand clutching owens tightly as he pressed his back as close to owens chest as possible.

—

"no cameron, we tube him now or he will be hospitalized" aaron and Cameron argued in the hallway, aaron holding a feeding tube and a food bag while cameron blocked the door.

"at least wait until owen leaves, it's probably jarring cause we can't use the G-tube" cameron said, still blocking the door.

"You're the one who agreed with mom that we could remove it" aaron said, his voice calm as always.

"well I didn't think he would need it" cameron sounded upset, more at himself then anyone.

"You've done it before? Tubed him?" Cameron asked Aaron, sounding defeated.

"Yeah, before he got the g-tube" aaron answered, sounding sympathetic as he tapped rhythmically.

"okay, yeah" cameron moved aside and opened the door, grayson was sleeping with his head in owens lap while owen sat up with airpods in and scrolled on his phone.

owen saw them enter the room and took out his airpods, throwing his phone across the bed and moving grayson off his lap.

"a feeding tube?" Owen asked as he got off the bed, feeling minuscule next to aaron and Cameron who stood about 10 inches taller than him.

"yeah, sorry" cameron said to owen, who was looking back and forth between grayson and them.

"No, it uh - makes sense" owen said and walked backwards to the couch at the other end of the room.

Aaron woke up grayson gently shaking his shoulder but grayson still woke up with a fright, his breathing quick but slowing down.

"fuck" grayson sighed as he saw the stuff lying on the nightstand, rolling over onto his back.

"It'll be quick I promise, owens here do you want him to stay?" Aaron asked as he grabbed the tube and handed cameron the cup of water with a straw.

"Do you want to?" Grayson asked owen, who was still sitting on the couch nervously.

Owen thought he could read graysons facial expressions pretty well, and by the looks of him he seemed really nervous.

"Yeah" owen said and stood up, waiting for instructions.

"Okay that actually makes it a lot easier" aaron stepped away from the bed and gestured for owen to come closer.

Aaron looked over at grayson for permission, he knew his brother hated it when he talked like he wasn't there.

Grayson nodded and gave a weak smile, allowing aaron to go ahead and take charge of the situation.

"if he tilts his head back his entire body goes with it, so let's.." aaron put down the tube and slipped his hands underneath grayson, picking him up with ease and holding him to his chest.

"sit on the bed in like a straddle" aaron told owen, who followed the instructions and sat down with his legs apart.

Aaron put grayson down slowly against owen, who helped him move to get comfortable and stabilized him by wrapping his arm under his armpit and across his chest.

Then the tube came, slowly pushed and guided up his left nostril. Once it was a quarter of the way in cameron held the straw up to graysons mouth and he started drinking water while aaron continued to feed the tube further in.

"Okayyyy and done" aaron taped the tube against his cheek and attached it to the pole that Cameron pushed near him.

"good job babe" owen whispered and kissed grayson on the cheek.