Not a Love Story

Thirty-Eight // Can We Talk?

Oliver Greene

Standing in front of me was Ben. He was wearing a crumpled pair of jeans and a wrinkled sweatshirt. His hair was damp and untamed and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked nervous standing there, his hands in his pockets.

"Can we talk?" he asked. I looked back to see my mom and Henry looking at us, quickly looking away and acting like they hadn't been watching us a second ago.

"I don't know." I replied, unsure of what else to say.

"Please." Ben pleaded, his eyes full of desperation. I took a breath and slowly nodded.

"Fine. But not here." I replied, opening the door to let him in.

"Oh, uh, yeah sure." Ben said, cautiously stepping inside. I shot a look at my mom and Henry, seeing them still trying to sneakily watch us.

I led Ben upstairs and into my room. I closed the door behind me, looking over at Ben to see him looking around my room.

"Why are you here?" I quietly asked. He turned around and looked at me, seemingly conflicted.

"I just, I-" he stopped and sighed, shaking his head.

"If you don't actually have anything to say you have to leave." I said, anger laced in my voice as I gestured to the door.

"I lied." he blurted out. I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"About?"

"Everything." he said. I raised an eyebrow, still confused. "I-I've been so caught up in being something, someone, I'm not, I got lost. I let the only person that really matters to me go because I've been pretending my whole life. I just didn't realize it until it was too late." he cautiously looked up at me. I shook my head.

"I-I don't understand." I responded. A small smile formed on Ben's lips.

"C'mon, Ollie, you're smart." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ben. So far, all you've done is confuse me. I'm getting really tired of this shit. Especially after this weekend." I replied, bitterness seeping into my words as I whispered the last part. I saw Ben's face soften and he took a step towards me.

"I didn't mean anything I said last night." he finally said after a pause. My eyes snapped to his, shocked. "I-I freaked out. Clearly." he said, bitterly chuckling. "When I'm around you, talking to you, when I just look at you I feel different. I don't know how to describe it, it's like I want to be different. Better. For you. With you. And I know I've never felt like this before. That scared me. A lot." he paused, taking a breath and looking at me to gauge my reaction before continuing. "It still scares me if I'm being honest." he murmured, running a hand through his hair.

I stood there, still trying to process everything he'd just said. He took a few more steps towards me until he was just a step or two away from me.

"I'm so, so sorry, Ollie. I never meant to hurt you, but I know I did. It's okay if you can't forgive me, I understand what I did was unforgivable. All I'm asking for is another chance."

I stood there, silent and unable to meet his eyes, taking in everything he'd just said.

"I-I don't know." I finally breathed out. I saw Ben's face drop, nearly shrinking into himself. "You ran off. How can I be sure you won't do that again? That this is something you actually want?" I whispered, hugging my arms to my chest, taking a step back from Ben. "I don't know if you've heard, but you're not much of a relationship person." I finished, my voice barely above a whisper.

He took a step forward and placed a hand on my arm, looking into my eyes.

"I wasn't until I met you. You changed me, Ollie. Please believe me. I'll do anything, everything I can to prove it to you today, tomorrow, and every day after that. I'm just asking for another chance, please." Ben pleaded, his eyes sincere.

I bit my cheek and let out a breath, Ben's hand on my arm immediately calming me and engulfing me in warmth.

"Okay." I whispered.

"What?" Ben asked.

"Okay. One more chance." I said, a little louder. A smile grew on Ben's face as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. I instinctually wrapped my arms around him, closing my eyes and relaxing into his touch.

"Thank you, Ollie. I promise I'll prove it to you. I promise." he whispered. I hugged him a little tighter, hearing the truth behind his words.

I'm not sure how long we stood there embracing one another, neither of us wanting to step away and shatter the moment. The sound of footsteps up the stairs and a knock on my door made me pull away, Ben's hand still on my arm. I carefully walked out of his grasp to open the door.

My mom was on the other side, a strange smile on her face.

"Hi, boys. I'm about to put the things for lunch away. Ben, would you like anything?" she asked, looking between me and him.

"Um-" I started, looking back at him.

"I have to get home for lunch, but thank you for the offer, Beth." he said.

"Alright. If you change your mind let me know." she said. Ben nodded and she turned around. I closed the door and turned back to face Ben.

"I don't want to mess this up again. We can take this as slow as you need to so you can trust me." Ben explained. I nodded, feeling my chest flutter with his words.

"You're serious about this?" I asked, doubt creeping into my mind. Ben reached forward and laced his fingers with mine.

"I'm not going to mess this up again. I almost lost you once. I won't make that mistake twice." he said, squeezing my hand. I nodded, his words washing over me and the feeling of his hand in mine overwhelming.

"Okay." I whispered. Ben softly smiled and nodded.

"Okay." he responded. We stood there looking at one another for a moment. "I should probably get going. I don't want to intrude on your lunch any more than I have." Ben said, squeezing my hand again.

"Yeah, okay. I'll walk you out." I replied. I slowly unlatched our hands and led him down the stairs. He stepped onto the porch and turned to look at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ollie." he said, a soft smile on his face.

"See you tomorrow, Ben." I replied, a small smile creeping onto my face. He waved as he got into his car and I closed the front door, smile still on my face.

"So what was that about?" I heard my mom ask. I suddenly turned around, lost in my thoughts and not realizing she was behind me.

"What?" I asked, not fully hearing her the first time.

"Do I need to talk to him? Sick Henry on him?" she asked, her voice lowering and her expression serious.

"What? No! No, nothing like that." I said, vigorously shaking my head. She squinted at me. "No! It's fine, that's not necessary." I repeated, shaking my head again.

"Define fine." she pushed.

"I'm not sure yet. We're working on it." I whispered. Her face softened and she nodded.

"Okay." she pulled me in for a brief hug. "But I swear to God, if he tries to pull something like that again-" I laughed, cutting her off.

"It's okay. I don't think it will." I said, shaking my head with a small smile on my face, hope blooming in my chest.