What Lies Beyond You | ✓

36. | Forgive

Dedicated to thwayyiba

36.

forgive

I HADN'T WORN ANY OF MY RED clothes after 'you know what,' and I intended on keeping it that way. Whenever I picked any of my red shirts, my mind immediately notified me that once upon a time, I wore red outfits just to get Caelum to look at me more than his sister's annoying best friend who was hell-bent on discovering the secrets he kept hidden away from the world.

Quickly putting on an orange tee, I not-so-gracefully wore my jeans before picking my bag from my bed and going downstairs.

Mother was using her laptop, her reading glasses perched upon her nose. Seeing her sat there reminded me that she had only taken a temporary break from work, and our bonding time was coming to an end. January was fast approaching.

Ignoring my sad thoughts, I walked up to her and informed her about my tutoring session with Caelum. Earlier at school, I'd asked Caelum if he was still willing to tutor me, and surprisingly, he agreed. It was awkward talking to him since we hadn't exchanged any words after the day he gave me the little break-up speech, but I was willing to put aside our differences just for the sake of Calculus.

I also decided to ignore the fact that he'd lied to me. I couldn't go around calling him on his lies when the guilt of not talking about the drunken kiss with him was eating me up. Plus, he was a Jensen. And from what I had learned over time, they all had reasons for doing what they did.

She grinned. "You like that boy, huh?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't like me that way," I said.

She frowned. "Did he tell you that?"

Did he tell me that? Of course, he did. He said he was sorry, and that was a full apology for him not liking me back.

"Whatever," I said. "I'll be back a bit later, though. Emery wants us to hang out."

She gave me a look and I frowned. "What? She shook her head but kept her gaze on me. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"It's just refreshing to see you talking about friends and all," she said. "Lisa was pretty much the only friend you had, but after her dad took up Dale's case, I stopped seeing her around."

"Oh," I said, nodding. "Apparently, she felt guilty so she didn't want to hang out with me anymore."

"Do you still talk with her?" she asked.

"She came to talk to me after school last week," I said, plopping myself on the couch. "But we're not friends anymore."

Mother removed her glasses and placed them on her papers, before averting her gaze back to me. "I do understand Lisa a bit," she said. "Imagine if the roles were reversed and you were placed in Lisa's shoes, how would you feel?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"You do know, Daesyn," she pressed. "So, tell me how you would feel if the roles were reversed."

"The roles aren't reversed mum, so I wouldn't know the feeling." When I saw the look on her face, I refrained from rolling my eyes in annoyance. "Dad would've fought Mr. Gretchen's case if the roles were reversed. He would've done anything to bring the killer to book, and I wouldn't be in Isa's shoes because I would not have felt guilty."