What Lies Beyond You | ✓

45. | Sorry

45.

sorry

THE FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR fell two nights after Christmas and I wasn't as pumped as I'd initially thought I would be.

The thoughts of wanting to share Caelum's grief with him drained me completely the past few days, and I couldn't try to imagine how he had been feeling all those years.

Although a part of me felt guilty that me not recognizing him only added to his pain, this time around I knew I couldn't go to him.

If he wanted to explain things, if he wanted to apologize, if he wanted to speak to me, he had to work for it. I was done walking on eggshells around him, not knowing if whatever stuff I said was going to make him mad. I was done apologizing for the things I did, directly and indirectly. I was done with it all.

Snuggling deeper into my duvet, I waited for the sleep to engulf me. All I'd been doing these past few days was eat and sleep. Mum didn't let me go out because of the snow and to be honest, I wasn't really complaining.

Melanie was out of town for the holidays, and Clara didn't really care about anything else except her bed. Emery... well, we hadn't spoken much as we used to and I knew things were changing. Even though I had already forgiven her, I was human and it wasn't easy to put everything behind me.

The vibration of my phone woke me up and I squinted my eyes at the screen after unlocking the phone. There were several messages from Emery, Wyatt, Clara, and even Melanie, and I jolted up when I read the first text.

"Daesyn, it's urgent!!! Aatami hasn't come home!!!"

That was the first time I received a well-written text from Emery and so I knew whatever was happening was really urgent. Emery's call came in just as I was about to call her and I picked up.

"Daesyn." I could imagine her running her hand through her blonde hair. "Have you spoken to Aatami? He isn't picking up or responding to any of our texts."

"I didn't speak to him," I said. "Didn't he tell you guys where he was going to?"

"He said he was going for a walk—"

"Under the snow?" I interrupted with a frown.

"Yeah, he said he was only going for five minutes—"

I sighed. "You shouldn't have let him leave the house," I said. "Never mind, where do you think he went to?"

"There're a lot of places he could've gone to," she replied and I pursed my lips.

"I'll go check the places I know," I said, standing. "If I find him, I'll send you a text or something."

After hanging up, I quickly changed into jeans and wore a coat on my pajamas top before slipping my feet into my canvas. Pulling my coat closer to my body, I picked my car keys from my study table, turning towards my door and walking downstairs.

Mother looked up from the movie she was watching, lowering the volume as she did so. "Where are you off to?"

"Uh... Emery's?" I responded.

She quirked her brows. "Are you asking me?"

"No mum," I replied. "I have to go to Emery's."

"Don't tell me you're going there because of that boy?" she asked incredulously and when she didn't get a response, she placed a hand on her forehead. "Daesyn, it's dangerous out there! You can't just waltz out whenever you want!"