Matsukawa x Reader - "It's Always Been You"

25

You grumbled as you heard the alarm sound next to you. You wiped your eyes groggily before slapping your hand around the nightstand to find your phone. You grabbed it and turned off the alarm immediately before dropping it down next to you and taking a deep breath. Suddenly your eyes shot open and you quickly rose to look at the space next to you, blinking a few times at the now empty spot.

Ah, he must've left already...

You held your head in your hands as you thought about the last 24 hours, a mix of emotions flooding you--guilt being the primary one jumping out. You felt guilty about your interactions with Kageyama because of Matsukawa, and you felt guilty about how you had to treat Kageyama to set the boundaries needed for you both to continue as things had always been.

You thought about what he said last night--had things really changed that much? You thought about all of the time you two had spent together throughout your lives. You remembered your childhood filled with sleepovers and shared baths and bedtimes. You remembered all of the times you'd both pretend to sleep after either of your mothers read you a story at night just to crawl under the covers with a flashlight to tell your own ghost stories the moment they left.

Things had changed, but doesn't that always happen when you grow up? Suddenly it was no longer two kids running through a new world together--it became about a boy and a girl growing up with needs and wants. You remembered when mentioning you two sleeping in the same bed became scandalous to others and the day that Kageyama said you couldn't hold his hand or kiss his cheek anymore because the other kids teased him. Isn't it funny how growing up twists such innocent bouts of affection?

As you felt your mind wander through the timeline of your friendship you sucked in a sharp breath when you remembered middle school. You remembered the day you realized you saw Kageyama with different eyes, grimacing as you remembered how he reacted when you--your thoughts became interrupted by your second alarm going off.

You sighed as you shut it off and began to get ready for school, you took a quicker shower than usual and put your hair into quick braids before changing into your uniform, grabbing your things and heading out the door.

You smiled lightly as you saw a familiar mop of dark curls ahead. You greeted Mattsun and he quietly greeted you back, you were shocked to see the under eye circles that seemed to glow off of his otherwise perfect skin.

You reached up and put your hand on his face, feeling him freeze underneath your touch as he looked at you with sad, tired eyes as you brushed your thumb over the area to inspect.

"Did you have trouble sleeping last night?" you asked softly, furrowing your brows in worry.

"Yeah, just one of those nights I guess" he said absently as he started walking the usual path, pausing to wait for you to join his side. 

You felt your heart ache as you walked alongside the boy, an unusual silence between you two. 

"So...where do you wanna eat before we go to class?" you asked cheerily, hoping that you can somehow turn his mood around. "I'll treat~"

"That's ok. Do you mind if we just pick something up along the way instead?" he said lowly.

"Ah...yeah, if you want. Where do you want to grab it then?"

"Convenience store is fine" he answered simply.

Silence overtook you both again and you felt a pang in your chest with every step, you didn't know what to do at the moment--do you push him on it or do you wait for him to tell you? What was going through his head? Did he think that something happened between you and Kageyama? Did he think you chose Kageyama over him? Was there something else going in his life that made him feel this way? There were a number of things you were worried about but you didn't know how to approach it--you were never in this kind of situation before.