Raw Donke [ Shrek x Gordon Ramsay]

Risotto

I signed up for Hell's Kitchen. Holy hek what do I do now? Maybe I should practice cooking. I ran to Kocoochie's house with all of my cooking utensils and my bat to beat my meat. I knocked on his door and when he answer I barged in ready to beat my meat 😏

"WHAT THE FUC-" Kocoochie yelled right before I slammed my bat into his head.

"That's for not answering the damn phone." He was unconscious so he didn't answer. I'll leave him a text. Or.... I can cook him...perhaps...bet. I grabbed all of my utensils from my stomach, going through my mouth and down my throat. DAMN IT my arm isn't long enough...hmmm wait. Kocoochie is unconscious... I can cut off his arm! I just need something to help. What is this thing- a hydraulic press?! I'm going to crush Kocoochie's arm off...

"HEY! what the fuck? Why is my love on the table why is he sleeping?!" Hydraulic press exclaimed.

"Ugh. hey 👋 queen 😔✊ I 👁️ saw your tweet 🤳✍️ about how men 💩 are trash 💅 and 😢 I just wanted 😍 to let you ☝️ know I agree 🤝😸 although I myself 💋 am a man 🧔🧔 (I know ugh 🙄) I am 🙍‍♂️ on your side 🤼‍♂️ "One of the good 🧘‍♂️✔️ ones" as some may 🤷‍♂️ say 🗣️ btw 👀 I didn't notice how fat ⭕ your boobies 🍒👐 are till ⏰ now but 🙀 they're awesome 😁😎" I responded and picked up Hydraulic press positioning him to crush Kocoochie's shoulder.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Hydraulic press is loud as heck.

"Shut the fuck up." I said, my voice deadpan. I started humming my superhero movie as hydraulic press got closer and closer to crushing Kocoochie.

"No! I won't hurt him! Ahhhhh nooooo!" I started shouting My Superhero Movie while Kocoochie screamed in pain and hydraulic press was crying.

"IT'S MY MOVIE MY MOVIE MY SU- oh thanks I need your arm." I took Kocoochie's arm and shoved it down my throat. Now I can shove my utensils through my large and small intestine and out my ass! Slowly utensils clanged onto the floor and I prepared to cook Kocoochie.

A/N: finally 😩😩😩