Daisuga One Shots

I miss you

I, once again, wake up in the middle of the night. I sit up in my cold white sheets, only lighted by the moonlight piercing through the blinds. I shake my head and run my hands through my head, sighing. I'm exhausted, but I keep waking up every hour. I take a look at my phone, to see if he has sent a message. Nothing. I get up and walk to the kitchen to make some tea, eat something, do whatever, because I know I can't go back to sleep right now. I open the fridge, but there aren't any things I could eat to comfort myself. I put the water to boil and stand against the counter, staring at the white ceiling. I'm lost in my thoughts. I keep thinking about him. It hurts, but I can't help from doing it. The sound of boiling water takes me back to earth and I pour it in a cup, add the tea, before sitting on the couch. I slowly drink, spacing out every second.

Almost three months. It's almost been three months since Daichi left, since I can't sleep at night, since I drink tea at 1 am.

One week. I have one more week to be lonely. He's supposed to come back in five days precisely. I feel like I've only had half of a life since he's gone. Everything I do is only automatic, is aimless. Without him, I feel alone. I feel bitter.

I hear my phone ringing, taking me out of my gloomy thoughts. I look for it and realize I left it on the bed. When I finally find it, my heart pounds so strongly in my ribcage. It's a call. He's calling me.

"Hello ? 

- Hi, Suga. I know it's late back in Japan, but I assumed you couldn't sleep, as usual.

- You're right. 

My voice is about to break. He calls me really often, but tonight is one of those times I can't stand being away from him anymore.

- How are you doing ? he asks.

My throat doesn't seem to have the strenght to make a sound. I cough and try to get my voice back.

- I... I'm ok...

- Oh. Suga, my love, please don't cry.

I gulp.

- It's too late.

I hear him sigh.

- I'll be here in a week. We don't have lots of time to wait anymore. I'll be starting to pack my stuff really soon.

- I know, Daichi, but... It's hard you know.

- Hey. Don't pretend it's not hard for me either. I love that job, but... I love you more.

- Bullshit, I say, letting out a bitter laughter. If it was true, you wouldn't have left me.

- Wha...? What ? Don't you dare say that ! I had to leave you. I didn't have a choice. If I loved my work more, I would've married my boss, not you.

- Mmh.

- Listen, Suga. All of this is going to be over soon. I ask you to be just a little more patient. I'll come back to you as soon as possible.

- Yes, ok. I'm sorry, I say, wiping my tears. I'm such an egoist. I didn't want to break down on the phone.

- Don't say that about yourself. You're the less egoistic person I've ever met. It's just normal you feel down, and I do too.

- But since I'm crying, you're holding back your tears, I say a bit more confidently.

- What...?

- I can hear it in your voice, Daichi. I'm sorry, I was selfish.

- No, no... That's...

He sighs and continues.

- God, I crave after a night with you. A day, even. A year. All my life. I miss you so much, Suga.