Barren

What Am I Now?

Please don't hate me...but like I'm sure you all saw what's coming.

Trigger warning mention of self harm, read at own risk.

And thanks again to my lovely friend tommoLo ☺️
**

When Harry told Louis that he would never leave him again he wasn't lying. He never left the driveway. He sat in his car all night trying to figure out what happened. His memory is so foggy from him drinking so much, he can't really recall anything.

He punched the steering wheel hard and laid his head on it. "What the fuck did I do this time?" He muttered to himself quietly, he definitely sobered up quite quickly but not enough to remember exactly what had happened. But do you blame him? He was basically kicked out of his house.

He tried to go through his day, trying to figure out what went wrong. He could figure it out. He sighed knowing it was going to be a long night.

He managed to get himself comfortable in his car and he fell asleep. It wasn't comfortable at all, but he was going to make do with what he had. He wasn't going to his mothers or sisters, they were still mad at him for what he did to Louis and he's sure that they will disown him if they found out what he did.

He wasn't even sure of what he did.

After two hours of him tossing and turning, not able to get comfortable, he decided that sleep wasn't going to happen so he sat up and took in his surroundings. A few cars would pass by the house every so often, but the night was just too quiet, it usually was louder.

His ears picked up on loud sobbing. It came from the direction of the house, up near where their bedroom window was. There was a faint light on behind it and his heart broke when he realised that it was Louis still crying. He didn't understand, was it the yelling from before? Did that really upset him? He didn't yell at him that bad, did he?

Harry sighed and his phone buzzed from his pocket. He was alerting him that it was at 10% and going into low power mode. He frowned, he never lets his phone get down that low, he barely even uses it.

Harry plugged it in to his car adapter and decided to see what his drunken self did. He didn't see any messages or recently sent ones, he had no missed calls.

But, then his eye caught the outgoing call he made hours before. It lasted 10 minutes and it was to Zayn, he tried to remember what happened but his memory was still so foggy.

He groaned and leaned his head back on the headrest. He rubbed his hands over his face until he started to doze off.

"Thas'nough talking, where were we?" Harry slurred, moving to suck a dark mark on his neck. The two men were getting more and more worked up, the eagerness between the two were evident, they both were looking for some relief.

Harry's mind was running a mile a minute while this was all occurring, his subconscious was screaming at him, almost like he had an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other telling him what he should do.

What would Louis think? What about the babies?

Harry, he still wanted a divorce, his mind was already made up. He barely lets you touch him.

"Louis..." he mumbled against the strangers lips, who then stopped suddenly.

"M'Lee," his eyebrows furrowed, they had exchanged names a bit ago and he was confused why he called him Louis. "Who's Louis?"

Harry's ears rang when he heard the name Louis roll off the man's tongue.

His Louis.
His lover.
His husband.