Darling//l.s

17

Word count: 3550

Harrys POV

4:56. 

It has been 8 hours and 41 minutes since I had found out Louis left, and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Scenarios played through my mind of what happened with Louis from the time I got home, to the time he fell asleep. I couldn't even imagine how terrible he felt about everything, how neglected I made my boy feel. I sighed and sat up in bed, deciding it felt too empty, but so did the whole house. Louis gave life to everything in his presence, and without him, everything including myself was hollow. 

I took a shower, and for once chose to make it steaming hot. Usually Louis would lecture me on how cold my showers typically are, and if I couldn't physically have him I could at least do something that reminded me of him, and maybe wash away some of the guilt I feel for making him feel unwanted. 

When I got out I immediately looked into the mirror. I couldn't see my reflection because of the mist, but what I was able to see was the heart with 'L+H' that was written on the mirror, clearly something Louis drew in the steam after one of his showers. I stared at it for a long while, letting my feelings of guilt that I tried to wash off come back full force. Once I was finally able to look away, I got dressed in my usual black skinny jeans, but instead of a plain shirt, I pulled out a floral button down. I knew Louis would like it better. 

5:45. 

I decided to text Niall and ask that I pick up Louis, which he agreed would be fine, but he would prefer if we spoke about our problems while I was there so if anything went wrong Louis could just stay. It was a hard pill to swallow, imagining Louis not wanting to come back with me, but I agreed as long as Niall let us speak privately which he agreed to. 

I drove as quickly as I could. I felt deprived and like I was barely breathing, but I knew that as soon as I was with Louis again that wouldn't be an issue, if he takes me back that is. Hopefully he will once I explain things because I honestly don't think I could live without him. 

I pulled up to Nialls flat and shut my car off, taking a few minutes to pull myself together. I took a deep shaky breath and ran my hand through my hair. I also pulled out my inhaler and took a quick puff from that before stepping out of my car. I walked up to the door and with a shaky hand knocked three times before clasping them together to keep them from shaking so badly. I waited for what felt like forever before Niall answered. 

"Hey H," Niall said and pulled me into a hug. I relaxed in his grip and breathed him in. It felt nice to know that he's still here for me even though Louis and I aren't on good terms. 

"Where's Lou?" I asked, not really addressing Niall. I felt a little bad, but I just wanted my baby back. 

"He's still sleeping in the guest room, we can hang out in the living room until he wakes up," Niall said. I nodded and entered his flat. We sat down on his couch and just sat in silence until Niall spoke up. "So, how are you feeling?" 

I let out a humorless laugh at that. "I feel like complete shit. All I did last night was think, didn't sleep at all. I hate that Louis felt so neglected that he had to go to you, no offense obviously. I just wish I was fucking there for him. How did I mess up so badly?" I shook my head and ran my hands over my face. 

"I think you guys just lost your ability to communicate, you've been so busy and really haven't spent any time with Louis or talked to him. We know how his mind is, we all know he jumps to conclusions, and he jumped to you cheating. And honestly? I don't blame him." Niall spoke sternly towards the end. Tears flooded to my eyes while my heart went from broken to shattered.