Teaching Noah | √

031

THERE WERE SO many good feelings in the world. Like watching movies on a rainy day, or climbing into a freshly made bed, or waking up on the morning of Christmas—  those were good feelings. Even being seated with Camden out on the steps of his front porch with a gentle breeze blowing was a good feeling, but it was about a week since I last saw Noah, and that was not a good feeling.

Whenever I remembered what happened the last time we saw, I felt bad for telling him I didn't want to see him again, but his words had hurt. They still hurt when I thought about it, but it didn't stop me from being worried, especially since Mom told me he was sick.

"Noah may not be available for some days. He's ill and he has been advised to rest," Mom told me.

There was a possibility that it could be a lie. Maybe it was an excuse not to come. Either way, I couldn't deny the feeling of worry that I had about him. I wanted to text him, but I couldn't bring myself to because a part of me was still mad at him.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt Camden poke my side. I flinched and burst into laughter and he wrapped an arm around me, resting his head on mine, "Okay, at least you're laughing."

"What do you mean?" I asked when I calmed down.

"You've been really quiet than usual, are you okay?" I felt his arms tighten around me.

"Mhm," I nodded.

"Are you sure? You know I'm always here for you."

"I'm worried about Thanksgiving."

It wasn't a complete lie. As Thanksgiving approached, I didn't feel as excited. I also saw Mom struggle to put so much into planning for this year.

"Why are you worried about Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "You know when you've been looking forward to something, and it's drawing close, and the excitement is just gone?"

"What do you love most about Thanksgiving?"

I thought for a while, "Apart from the food, it's how the house is filled with people I love."

"Then, why don't you focus on that? Every time you feel yourself worrying, try to intentionally replace the thought with the people you'll get to see. And for the people you might not get to see, remind yourself to be grateful for the people you have and will get to see."

I let his words sink in. Even though I wouldn't see dad, gratitude washed over me when I thought about Mom. At least she was there, and even though it felt like she had also lost some enthusiasm too, I was confident she was going to get it back. I thought of my siblings. I knew me and Marley didn't exactly have a relationship, but I thought of Mason and River. A smile finally crept up my face when I thought of Simon and his sons, then I looked at Camden.

"How are we feeling?" he looked back at me.

"Much, much better."

Camden's face lit up in a smile before he rested his forehead against mine, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I really wish you could spend Thanksgiving with us too, but we're spending the day at my dad's parents'."

I kissed his forehead and we looked at each other fondly, "It's okay, really. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I'll still be here when you get back."

"I'll miss you," I laughed at the grim look on his face, "You're just being dramatic. How far are your grandparents' house from here?"

"About two hours? Or three."

"Will your dad and brother be there?"

"No, they won't be coming," he shook his head. "They can't make it."