Don't Ever Forget

XI.

Days at the Ministry started to become a dull cycle. Billingsgate started to act more reserved around me after the meeting with Harry, which I am extremely grateful for. I still had to tag along to Fudgel's office but the way he started talking to me changed.

Despite this, I can't help feeling sad over another change in my daily life. Draco and I haven't spoken since that day at the hidden park. I see him around at the Obliviator's Headquarters sometimes but he never meets my eye anymore, no matter how hard I try to will him to do so. At the beginning of the day, I always convince myself that I will confront him about him avoiding me but when the time comes I lose my courage.

Recently at the committee, there's not much to go over since the last incident. After all the muggles were obliviated, there wasn't much to worry about and by now it's almost as if it never happened.

"Billingsgate is not in a good mood today," Elflock, a committee member who I've recently been getting closer to, tells me.

"Thanks for letting me know," I tell her. I'm grateful that she tells me about Billingsgate before I have to see him because I'll get a better idea of how he'll treat me.

"Apparently, the muggle police went to investigate where the family had gone and none of the neighbors even knew who they were!" Elflock says.

"That's what I was afraid of... I knew obliviating them all wouldn't be the right choice. Has Billingsgate said anything about what our next move is?" I ask her but she just shakes her head. I don't have time to continue a conversation because the door to Billingsgate's office swings open.

"Y/N, please join me in my office." He says. I look to Elflock and she gives me a small smile before I go.

"Is something wrong?" I ask when he closes the door behind me.

"I assume Elflock told you about the current situation with the deceased muggle family," he states, the way he refers to the family makes my stomach turn.

"Yes..." I start but he continues talking.

"Other committee members have been discussing that they'd like to know your opinions on the matter." His words sound almost resentful and I take a moment to decide my course of action. If I anger him, I could have to endure him being cold to me again but I want to say what's on my mind.

"I don't mean any disrespect, Billingsgate, but I think we approached the incident completely wrong. I think obliviating the family from memory was the wrong choice." I say. He just stares at me with a blank stare so I take it that I should continue.

"Well, I know that when the investigation comes up with that the family is missing, seemingly disappeared, the muggle world will be scared and confused. I mean, it'll be similar to the strange and dangerous events that happened during the reign of Vol-"

"That's enough! How dare you..." he interrupts, looking angry and offended.

"I didn't mean to offend, Billingsgate," I say, trying to play it safe but the damage has been done.

"Sir. You will call me sir." He says and I wince.

"Then how do you plan on fixing the situation, sir?" I ask bitterly and his nostrils flare. The small courage of speaking up to him actually felt good if I pushed aside the unreasonable fear I had of him.

"I didn't think I would need to remind you that I have been in the committee for many years longer than you. I am far more experienced and knowledgable than you. The situation is nothing like the happenings during Voldemort's reign and for you to imply that it is just proves that the committee members were wrong to put their trust in you." he finishes. I have nothing to say to that and I don't want to argue so I just stand there.

"Leave my office." and I obey without hesitation. Once the door closes behind me Elflock gives me an apologetic smile.

"I did say he was in a bad mood. I'm sorry, it sounded rough in there," she says.

"I'm fine," I say, and I am. Because despite the insults he gave me he let one important thing slip. The committee members trust me and my opinion over his.

Committee session was canceled today, I assume because of Billingsgate's hurt ego, so we got to leave early. I decide to go to the cafe that Draco took me to all those weeks ago. I told myself I just wanted coffee, but I know I secretly was hoping I'd see him.

I sit a small table alone and sip my coffee, deep in thought. Billingsgate had told me that the committee members trusted me and wanted to know my opinion. I smiled as I took another sip. I had focused so much on Billingsgate's words to me about my "lack of experience and knowledge" when really I should have been looking to the other committee members. I don't spend much time with them because Billingsgate always makes me tag along with him but maybe it's about time I start discussing matters with the others. I felt a surge of confidence in my work, I won't let Billingsgate break me down any longer.

I'm smiling at myself uncontrollably now until I see Draco walk into the cafe. He looks right through me and takes a seat at a table, facing away from me. Did he really just do that? I know he saw me. Maybe this was a good thing, him walking in right when I start feeling confident. Now, I have enough confidence to do this.

I get up from my table and walk over to his, holding my head high, and sit in the seat right across from him. He just stares while I do this, acting like he doesn't know who I am.

"Why did you leave me at the park that day?" I ask. No hello, or hey, I want to be straightforward.

"Because I wanted to go home," he responds, just as forward as my question.

"Alright then. And why have you been avoiding me?" I ask, thinking about how long it's been since he talked to me, or even looked at me, at the Ministry.

"I don't know what you mean," he says. I roll my eyes at him being difficult. I have no idea why he's acting this way, or what I could have done to make him treat me this way.

"You don't talk to me when I go to Fudgel's office anymore. You don't even look at me!" I say, looking straight into his eyes. I want him to tell me the truth, I need him to tell me the truth.

"Have you ever considered that maybe I just got bored of talking to you? Maybe I didn't want to endure any more wasted time on you," he says, with sudden venom in his voice. I'm taken aback by this but try my hardest not to show it. I just nod, get up, and walk away. I walk all the way home.

Once I get through my front door and close it securely behind me, I allow myself to shed a few tears. His sudden cruelty was unexpected and for a moment I believe what he says. His voice sounded so sure of his words but I saw something in his eyes. Maybe I'm in denial, but I refuse to believe that he meant what he said. As if it matters if he did, he said that to hurt me and I shouldn't forgive him.

As I'm getting ready for bed that night, I can't help going over the last time we talked, at the park. I try to recall our entire conversation and suddenly the end becomes clear.

"You hurt them, Draco. You hurt them so much, and for a long time."

"I know, that's just who I am."

"Is that who you are or who you were?"

"It's who I am."

I didn't believe it when he told me, and I still don't believe it. There must be another explanation.

Are you trying to push me away? Is that what this is, Draco?