i might be messed up

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Jennie

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Jennie

I don't know what is it about Lisa, but I found myself in class, biting my nails anxiously. It's been a couple of weeks since the last encounter I had with her.

That moment keeps playing inside of my head.

My back on the door, while she's pressed against me.

I've always lusted for her, but the trumpet inside of my heart was too much of a deal-breaker here. As always; she came late.

I saw Lisa earlier taking her dance classes and I couldn't take my eyes off her. But, I ignored it just like the dumb idiot I am. But, what's new about clownery?

Lisa came to class, holding some guy's hand.

My heart dropped but I adjusted myself on the seat and pretended like her presence never did anything to me.

When did her presence ever matter?

"Lisa, congrats on your boyfriend". I heard some guy say, laughing while grinning at me.

I rolled my eyes, weirdo.

"Thanks, Charlie". Lisa sarcastically said and I knew it, her eyes were burning on me. I can feel the same smirk on her face, but this time I looked at her.

And did I regret it? Yes.

Because for some reason, looking into those big brown eyes, made my heart fluttered. They were the softest yet vibrant ones I've seen. Lisa's eyes twinkled at me, even when he kissed the back of her hand and tried to make eye contact with her.

Lisa Manoban was still staring at me from her seat.

"Give me a moment, baby". She sweetly spoke to him and I hated it.

I hated it so much.

I clenched my jaw and tried to focus on the boring class that didn't have a teacher yet— Why do teachers have to be so damn bipolar in this school? I groaned.

"Where do you think the teacher is?". Lisa's annoying voice echoed from beside me.

"Probably running late". I answered without glancing at her.

"I mean, we shouldn't be surprised, isn't it?".

I hummed in return.

"How are you though, Nini?".

I groaned, "Don't call me that".

"Why does it trigger you so much?". She smirked at me.

I finally managed to look at her, ignoring a thousand butterflies that settled against my chest when her eyes darted down to my lips. "It doesn't trigger me". I monotoned.

"I'm sure anything that falls out of my mouth is like a bomb to you, Jen". She teased.

I knew what she was doing.

She was playing the same game— just to make me run after her. Chase after her touch, but wasn't it so wrong to want someone who never would need you the way you do?

Lisa Manoban was a dark knight, playing on my heartstrings, yet still trying to make me lose my mind. "Don't.. call me that".

I sighed, balding my fist.

"Or what?".

I shrugged my head and almost whispered, "For fuck sake, Lisa".

"Your boyfriend is next to you, why don't you go talk to him? He seems kind of lost". I looked at the man who looked around, feeling awkward.

"Oh, him?". She laughed, "He's good".

"Good?".

Our eyes lingered for so long this time— but I simply gulped hard and hid my emotions behind a bitchy face, that Lisa got used to.

Lisa nodded, "Why are you avoiding talking to me?".

"Why would I want to talk to you?". I looked away, and into the whiteboard instead.

For a few moments, she remained silent. But when she spoke, her tone got serious. "So all of the empathy of last month was a damn lie?".

"It wasn't".

"Then what was it?". Lisa calmly asked me.

"It was..". I paused, but when he sweetly looked at her, my blood boiled. "Nothing".

She blinked, Did I see hurt in her eyes?

"Leave me alone and actually pay your attention to him, not me". I rolled my eyes, and as soon as the teacher entered, I excused myself to the bathroom.

Why am I so triggered today?

I need to clear my mind.

I need to stay away from her, but I knew as soon as I entered. I won't be alone. The door opens with a persistent Lisa who had her arms crossed. "Why did you follow me?".

"Why are you running away and refusing to talk to me?".

"Why would I run away?". I looked in the mirror and avoided her shadow behind me. "And there is nothing to talk about here".

She came closer.

"Jennie, why did you come to my house that day?". Lisa asked, her voice coming out in bare whispers, meanwhile, her chin rested on my shoulder.

I softly melted as she glued our bodies together. "Answer me, love".

My heart started picking up the pace, again.

With her daring eyes meeting mine in the mirror, she placed her hand on my hip— taking in my scent. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight.

Away from her.

"Answer me, Nini".

"Please.. stop". I begged her.

"What?". Lisa seemed taken aback as she pulled away from me.

"You have—". She cut me off, catching me off guard as she spun me around. "A boyfriend?".

"For hell's sake, he's not my boyfriend". Said Lisa, "I was just messing around with you".

It felt like a huge relief washed over me, but at the same time, I was confused.

"Why did I make you think he was mine?". Lisa smirked and read my exact thoughts, "Well, the look on your face was funny".

"But, answer me first". She demanded.

I parted my lips and didn't know what to say. "Jennie, look at me".

And I did.. I weakened one more time and did.

"Maybe cause I care about you?". I whispered. Her eyes dilated at me, but I just froze at the way they intensely bore on mine.

"And maybe cause I hate you so much, Lisa". I bitterly said.

"You're that messed up, to go out of your way just to bother me, and annoy me with your silly games". I knew my words were playing a part in her head, but I didn't want to start crying in front of her either.

"You're messed up, Manoban". I shoved her away from me, "So get out of my face".

Instead of moving away, Lisa pulled me roughly to her chest and smiled. "I might be messed up baby, but I know exactly that look on your face when you saw me dancing earlier love".

I snorted, "Love? No, you're just messed up Lisa, so step away".

"I might be messed up, but I know what is love, baby". She winked at me and made my knees weaken.

"I know love more than anything else, Nini".

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