On The Edge

Chapter eight

Jackson Hart

It was the middle of may, when I returned to Tonawanda again. Two months had already pasted since I was last here. A girl in my pack was about to meet her wolf for the first time, so I needed to find the transition flower for her. It's the only way to connect with your wolf. But the flower was rare and not easy to find. 

I had rented a motel room just outside of town, to make sure I wouldn't run into Alexa. It would be too painfull, especially when I had spent the last two months trying to break my bond with her. I was close, but I needed more time before the bond was completely shattered. In my time away I had also decided I wanted an arranged mate. It was too hurtful to go through, if I found someone I wanted again, but they didn't want me back. 

I drove into town, to get groceries and other supplies in the nearest mall. I parked my car and waited a few minutes before I got out. Please let this trip be over quickly, I prayed for myself. I got out of the car and walked towards the mall. The sun was shining and felt warm against my skin, you could smell the fresh scent of spring in the air. The weather was perfect and I regretted that I had put on a black hoodie. It was so hot. I ran into the mall before I got heat stroke and started to look after the things I needed. 

The selection of cereal itself was insane in this mall. Who needs to choose from 30 different kinds of cereal? I felt overwhelmed and had no clue which one to pick. A kid that was standing besides me with his mom started to scream, and I decided to ditch the cereal. I really couldn't handle a screaming kid right now. Ever since I had left town and started breaking my bond to Alexa I have had a really bad temper, and I got pissed off really easily. I started to look for some bread, when somebody stumbled into me with their shopping cart. That was it. I was losing my temper, I turned around to scold the person who had hit me. 

I froze before I got a word out. 

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you like that" Her deep blue eyes met mine. I pulled the hat of my hoodie further down, so she couldn't see my face. She starred at me a little confused.

"Have we met before?" She asked trying to catch a glimpse of my eyes under the hood.

"No, just watch where you are going" I mumbled, turned around, and hurried around the corner of the row. 

That was too close. It was better if I didn't see her again, it was too hurtful. If I was near her the bond would only go stronger, and I would make it so much harder for myself to be with my arranged mate. 

But I couldn't help myself, I just wanted one last look at her. 

I peeked around the corner and there she was. Her hair was hanging loose around her face, and she was wearing a cute white dress with white sneakers. She was just perfect. I watched her for a moment while she looked at the items on the shelf. She apparently chose one from the top shelf, she reached up for it, but wasn't tall enough to get it. I looked at her struggle for a bit, before I made a decision that would change my life forever. 

I walked up to her and took down the pack of scones she was reaching for. As I did this the hat of my hoodie slit down, and she could see my face. 

"Thank you" She said and smiled to me. I could feel the bond to her tighten inside my chest. 

"Now I remember, you are John right? You saved me that night" She said still smiling at me. It hurt a bit that she didn't remember my name, when I wasn't able to forget hers.

"Close, my name is Jake"

"Jake, thats right. Can I buy you a cup of coffee? Just to say thanks for that night"

"I've things I need to take care of and.."

"Please it's the least I can do" She insisted and I couldn't say no to her. 

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We sat down at small cafe in the mall, which was also a bookshop. It was quite cozy. The walls was covered with shelves filled with books, old and new. It was pretty with only 6 tables inside. We sat on a bench with a little round table in the back of the cafe. There was shelves on both sides of the table, so it was pretty private.

She sat there staring at me, trying to figure me out. I looked away and avoided looking her in the eyes, she as making it so much harder for me. One thing is to not be able to have her, another is to be close to her, talking with her, knowing she will never be mine. 

"So where are you from? You are not from here, are you?" She asked and took a sip of her coffee. 

"No. I move around a lot" I said, trying to avoid the deep questions. Gosh, this was harder than I thought. We continued a bit like this, her asking me questions and me answering shortly.

"I'm sorry I never called you after that night..." She looked down and now it was her, who was avoiding eyecontact with me. 

"I just... I was so ashamed of what I'd gotten myself into... and and.." She started sobbing and I moved closer to her, putting my arm around her. 

"Hey, Alexa" I tried to gain eyecontact with her, but she looked away. I put my finger under her chin and gently lifted her face up until her eyes met mine. "Listen to me, anything that happened or could have happened is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. What he tried to do was not okay."

She nodded and her sobbing got lighter. She really thought it was her own fault, I felt sorry for her, so I started talking to distract her. I talked about my friends at home, college and in general my life just without the wolf stuff. We just sat there for hours with my arm around her, while she leaned in against me, drank her coffee, and listened to me. She laughed when I told her funny things about my best friend Leslie, her boyfriend Kyle, how I always fight with Nathan and how Hayley always gets me into trouble. She loosened up and started to talk about her own life with homeschooling and her overprotective mom. 

We really connected. There was something between us, she must have felt it. My skin burned where she leaned against me, but not in a bad way. I had so many butterflies in my stomach, when I was close to her. The bond was stronger than ever, I knew it was dangerous to let it be, but I was so full of joy. I wished this moment could last forever. But of course it couldn't.

Alexa's phone rang and she moved away from me. 

"I have to take this" She said looking guilty. She stood up and answered the call. 

"Hi Jer" She said into her phone, while pacing back and forth between the shelves. "I'm with a friend ... I do have other friends than you, you know that right ... I'm fine, stop being so overprotective ... I'll see you tonight, bye" 

And then she hung up. She gave a shy smile. 

"That was my boyfriend, I should really get going. I just have to pay first." She said reaching for her bag. 

"I'll pay, you can do it next time" I smiled. 

"I don't think there should be a next time Jake. Look I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he would like that we were sitting that close to each other..." She tried to turn away, but i grabbed her wrist gently, so she turned towards me. 

"Hey Alexa, I only want to see you as friends. I don't want to mess things up with your boyfriend. You can even bring him next time if you want to"

"Really? Okay, then I'll see you soon Jake" She lightened up and gave me a broad smile. "I'm glad we can be friends"

She waved goodbye as she walked out of the café and I was about to pay. What had I gotten myself into? Could I really just be friends with her? 

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