Without You [Daniel Ricciardo]

4. i ain't got nothin' to say

Over the past week Nico was getting more and more confused when it came to Daniel. His brother finally started to leave his room more often, he was in a good mood and even started opening towards Egle. He was so proud of him, but then the night came and everything was falling apart. Daniel's screaming was waking him up in the middle of every single night since his birthday party, which made Nico leave his bed in rush, grab his gun from under his pillow and head to Daniel's room. He would be sitting at the edge of the bed, sweating like hell, not looking at him even once. Without asking Nico knew he was tensed and scared. After he made sure that Daniel will come back to sleep, Nico would come back to his own bed. He prayed for sleep to come, but he usually spent another hour listen for new possible noises until he fell back into a deep slumber. Few hours later, in the morning, while pouring himself a cup of coffee, Nico started to wonder what was the cause of all this. He knew Daniel for a very long time and he have never seen him in such condition. Other members of the crew were allowed to have nightmares. Nico himself had them after every brutal action. But not Daniel. He was the best of the best, the thoughest, the strongest. Right man for a right job.

Nico was exhausted. They couldn't keep going like this anymore. Soon Egle will get suspicious and what he supposed to tell her? He was glad she didn't witness it yet, while staying for a night in the mansion, but how long till it actually happens? He also refused to claim that Zoe was a problem here. Yes, those nightmares started after he met the dancer and the conclusion was obvious, but it just didn't make any sense to Nico. Zoe was such a lovely girl with good influence on his brother. What was it about her that could possibly trigger those bad dreams and behavior that followed them? Nevertheless his intuition was telling him something's off and he was determined to know what. Soon he heard footsteps in the main hall, so he pulled another cup from the cupboard and fill it as well with the dark drink. Daniel took the cup from him with a nod and sat at the kitchen island. Nico observed him for a second, before he dared to ask. "How do you feel?". Daniel looked at him confused. "I'm fine". He replied, no quite understanding the nature of such question. Nico shook his head in disbelief, which he knew will annoy Daniel, but Nico was tired of playing it cool. "What? Why you keep asking me those questions every single day, Nico?". "I don't know! Maybe because you're keep waking up in the middle of the night and scream like someone was tearing your body apart?". Daniel scoffed, but also looked away from him. The view from the kitchen window showed him the garden full of colorful flowers. He liked looking at them, because he felt as if Zoe was next to him. She was just as graceful and delicate as those roses, tulips, lilies.

"I'm worried, man. Try to understand that. You're scaring me". Nico added after he calm down. Anger was not a good advisor here. "I understand, Nico, but you have to give me some space. I need to deal with it myself". Daniel stated, looking back at him. "Give you space? No. Danny, you know it's not possible. Not after how you locked yourself for months. I'm not losing you again". Daniel stood up, his chair almost falling to the ground. He predicted his brother would say something like this. He'll be using it against him now. Daniel paced nervously around the kitchen like a lion in a cage until words slipped from his mouth. "Everything was fine back then! I sat in my room, in the darkness and everything was fine! But you had to pull me out from my comfortable hole. You had to! And then you brought Zoe into this". Nico's lips parted, because of what he have just heard. "Is it really about Zoe?". He asked in order to process their conversation so far. Daniel ran his fingers through his dark curles. "I'm loosing it, Nico". He admitted. "I can't control myself anymore. I mean, now, when I'm awake it's easy, but when I fall asleep... It's all coming back. In my dreams I do horrible thing to her. My hands are hurting her. And then I wake up screaming, because I don't want this to be true. I'm terrified that one day I'll do something as much horrendous, but in the same time, I can't stay away from her. I just can't". It hurt to see him like this. So vulnerable, so confused. Although the East Coast crew was long gone, their ghosts followed them here and they will follow them for the rest of their lifes. "Danny, you're not that person anymore. Those are just dreams. They reflect your worst nightmares, but nobody said it will happen". Nico tried to make him feel a bit better. "Tell me, do you want to hurt Zoe now?". Daniel looked at him with fury in his eyes. "How can you ask me that?! You know I don't!". "Exactly. See, that's what I'm talking about. It's all inside your head. Those dreams aren't real. So, get your shit together, because we have a dinner to organise". Daniel frowned at his words, but then he remembered what a day it is. Today all four of them supposed to sit together at one table for the first time in order to eat dinner as if they were a proper happy family.