OLD Stealing The Sun

Chapter 24: Realizations

Hinata POV

I felt uncomfortable, sitting in the gym, it had always felt like home before but now I just wanted to run away and be anywhere else. I could feel eyes on me..... Oikawa's, his team, Karasuno's, the other teams, the coaches even.......but also Kageyama's......he seems to want to burn me alive. Sending shivers up my spine, the uneasy feeling from all my nightmares, was there but this time in real life. Why.....why couldn't I have taken Oikawa's offer and we skipped this, why couldn't I have asked to stay in the room.........I didn't want to be here. If only none of this had never happened. I didn't focus on my work anymore, instead I just stared at the paper to avoid others eyes, doing my best to keep all my emotions and scent in check...... deep breath in, don't let any of my scent out, deep breath out, don't let Oikawa feel my wild emotions......and repeat.

Still even though I tried to stay calm, my mind ran wild. Running in circles.......Back to how all this started, to Oikawa apologising, and then to this moment, only to start at the beginning again. I had thought Oikawa and I had gotten on better terms, not that I had forgiven him, but I had thought I Didn't hate him. But sitting in the gym, it was like those feelings were trying to crawl back, but I didn't hate him...... I would even go as far as say we were on our way to becoming friends.....

It was too much. Standing I quickly walked over to coach Irihata, asking him to tell Oikawa I went to the room, and then quickly left. Thankfully everyone was immersed in intense games, so I slipped away with no one following. I did my best to get to the room as quickly as I could, and only once there did I allow my emotions to slip out. Falling onto one of the futons I cried, heart wrenching sobs that could no longer be held back. I didn't want to be in this situation anymore. But I knew there was no going back. I cried like that until I fell asleep, too exhausted from crying to even dream.

Oikawa POV

Before the team could tease me anyone about Shouyou scenting me, we started the next practice match. Occasionally I would glance his way, just as others would, he was currently acting like he was still doing his schoolwork but he wasn't. He wasn't focused at all, and though he was trying to hold them back I got small waves of his emotions, something was really bothering him.......I tried to focus, but I couldn't, it was even worse when Shouyou tried to leave the gym. The second I saw him leave I B-lined to coach, who wasn't surprised that I ran over. He actually looked like he was glad I did, nodding his head in the direction of the door and motioning for Yahaba, he was saying I could go after him. I bowed, glanced back at the gym full of people who were just now noticing Shouyou's absence, and sprinted out the door. I was just about to open the door when I heard him crying, each sob felt like someone stabbing me, but he didn't let a single emotion come through our bond.......I wanted to rush in, but Shouyou was keeping his emotions from me on purpose, he wanted to be alone....... I sat there, just outside the door...just enough of a wall that I couldn't do anything, but listened as he cried his eyes out. When his wails finally stopped I opened the door, stopping in shock. Not because he was passed out from crying, but that the futon he was on was mine.....I walked over and sat next to him, brushing his hair out of his face, my omega........what can I do to fix this.....

"Oikawa coach wants to know if you're coming back?" Iwaizumi said, snapping me out of my thoughts, how long have I been sitting here....."

"Uh..." I tried but didn't know what to say, looking away from him and back at Shouyou

"You've been gone for an hour." He said sighing and coming over to sit next to me

"I don't want to leave him. But if he was up he'd tell me to go practice...."

"What happened to make him so upset again?"

"I don't know, I let him cry by himself....."

"You what?" Iwaizumi said, raising his voice a bit, but immediately dropped it once Shouyou stirred in his sleep "How could you let him cry alone?!" He demanded angry pouring off him

"Because it's what he wanted." I said feeling my heart clench in pain "He didn't want me to comfort him otherwise he wouldn't have hid his feelings and then snuck away..."

We were quiet after that, no one knowing what to say. Because what was there, we both knew I was right, Shouyou hadn't wanted me to comfort him. But I couldn't tell why..... Did I do something else wrong, is it because of his old team, or something else, how did I figure out how to help him when he didn't want to tell me what was wrong. What could I do, seeing him suffer so much hurt, and I know it's my fault, but I want to help make it better.

"Do you love him?" Iwaizumi asked out of the blue

"What?" I asked confused "I guess I do because of the bond right?"

"No. I don't mean the bond." He said staring me dead in the eyes "Do you as a person love Hinata?" I froze

Did I love him? At his words my mind flooded with hundreds of things about him. His laughs, smiles, the way his eyes expressed their emotions so vividly. How you could tell he was brighter than the sun when he smiled. How he flew on the court, and always gave his all. How he cared for others and always listened intently, even if he didnt understand everything you said. How he was a great older brother to Natsu. The feeling of holding him in my arms, or just holding his hand even, scent me over the moon. How I wanted more of him. To kiss him and hold him and hug him, just more...... How I lost myself in his wonderful scent that first day. How even before we mated I wanted him. He was the most amazing person I've ever met, and there was still so much I didn't know about him. I thought of how, when he cried my heart broke. How I wanted to protect him, to be the person he went to for comfort and safety..... I loved Shouyou, more than I could ever know, and I felt stupid for just now realizing it.

"I love Shouyou......"