A Series of Mondays (girlxgirl / wlw)

Monday, September 28th

PART I - HELEN

I overslept.

That had never, ever happened before.

At least I thought I overslept.

The only reason I woke up was the ringing doorbell. I looked at my alarm clock (dark), on my phone (no battery), out the window (the sun was shining). The doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming," I yelled, though I knew that whoever was standing outside the door would not hear me.

It was Jamie.

"Hi, Babe." He watched me from top to bottom, obviously wondering why I wasn't ready.

"What time is it?"

"7:30."

I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart. "I'm so sorry, I overslept. Give me five minutes."

I left the door open and hoped he'd see it as an invitation to come in while I sprinted upstairs. Six minutes later, I found him on the lounge chair in the hall.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded, though I was definitely not ready. I was not wearing any makeup, my phone was still uncharged, and I hadn't eaten breakfast. I fetched an apple from the kitchen counter and gestured Jamie to get going.

"Where's Amanda?"

I massaged my temples. "Family emergency." Amanda had asked to leave for the weekend and this week to go see her sister in New York who, apparently, was very ill and might die.

I couldn't place the beating of my own heart. Was it because of the stress, the not eating, or the compassion I felt for Amanda? What if her sister died this week? How could I let her work for me? I remember how I wasn't able to do anything for three weeks after Mom died. That kind of pain numbs everything.

"And your Dad?"

"Not home." I didn't hear him come home last night and when I had peeked into his bedroom earlier, I had only found a tidy bed which hadn't been slept in. I searched my brain for any information he might have given me, but I didn't find any. My phone lay uselessly on my thigh. I needed an outlet ASAP.

Jamie pressed his lips together and stared at the street. Others might say that he was concentrating on the traffic, but I knew him better. We hadn't talked during the weekend and I was honestly surprised he'd even shown up this morning. I let the events of the last week play out in my head.

Monday: Mrs. Carter telling Sofia and me to work on the project together.

Tuesday: Maths test which I aced.

Wednesday: Jamie's first game of the season which they won and the whole team celebrating their win at Joseph Gardner's.

Thursday: Jamie apologizing to me that he had groped me at the party and while I drove him home. He had been drunk. He was sorry. I am pretty sure that Jonathan heard us talk because I saw them later arguing with hushed voices, Jonathan saying at least three times "What the fuck, mate?".

Friday: Jamie apologizing, once again, and asking if he could take me out for a date on Saturday. Amanda leaving for New York.

Saturday: Three calls and thirteen messages from Jamie I did not answer.

Sunday: Dad leaving for – ah right – his business trip to Hartford. Me lying in bed, watching Full House, and eating Chinese take-out. Thinking about how to deal with the Jamie-situation.

I loved him so much, but I didn't know how to handle his recent actions.

I could tell that he was as frustrated as I was, but I had the moral high ground.

Maybe you should just sleep with him, then this all would be over. I hated that voice in my head.

Mom raised me to listen to my instincts. You don't want this doll? Okay, here you have a tiny motorcycle. You don't like eating meat? Okay, eat your vegetables. You don't feel good about going to camp this summer? Okay, let's do a family vacation.

I should never have to do something I didn't want to do.

Tears burnt in my eyes. Why are you gone, Mom? I need you.

"Can't we go back to the things like they were before?" Jamie asked. He had parked his car in front of the school.

Iturned my head and smiled at him. A little nod from me made him breathe a sighof relief. He stretched out his arms and we hugged. The gear shift poked in myside and I squirmed out of the embrace.