A Series of Mondays (girlxgirl / wlw)

Monday, October 5th

PART I - SOFIA

I sent Baker a screenshot of a text post saying:

          Benvolio: yeah that's Juliet her family is like our sworn enemy

          Romeo's one brain cell:

          [Tweet from Harry Styles. @Harry_Styles]

          Interested.

A minute later, my phone showed a new message.

          Baker: yeah that's helen she's a straight girl who has a boyfriend

          sofia's one brain cell:

          [Tweet from Harry Styles. @Harry_Styles]

          Interested.

I laughed out loud.

Shit.

Me @Baker // 9:15 PM haha.

Me @Baker // 9:15 PM I am not interested in her

Baker @Me // 9:15 PM sure

I send the rolling eyes emoji.

I thought about sending another message saying it wasn't like that, but I felt like that would help his case more than mine. Last week had, in fact, been pretty great regarding our friendship.

I had asked Baker for her phone number and texted her that I was sorry for overstepping boundaries and that I just wanted to help out a friend. She had texted me back saying that she admired my intentions (as in "helping out Baker"). Then I asked when she would like to meet for the next time to work on our project. She proposed Wednesday which I had to decline (therapy appointment) and proposed Thursday. We met on Thursday at her house and worked on the project for an hour, read Romeo and Juliet lines for another, and watched Full House for yet another.

Then we got talking about growing up and she told me about Aimee and Aaron, her aunt and uncle, why she became a vegan, how she freed her elementary class' guinea pig, and probably killed it by doing that. Her father offered me to stay for dinner, so I stayed for dinner. Once I was home, I texted her to thank her for the nice afternoon slash dinner and wished her a good night. She answered with a yellow heart emoji. Then she sent a gif of a guinea pig on a skateboard and I laughed out loud which alarmed Mom who came to check on me. Later that night I texted her "you made me laugh which worried my mom because it doesn't happen very often. she says thank you". for about three and a half minutes I was terrified that I had gotten too personal and scared her away. "This should help." her next message said and a second later a Best of Full House compilation video popped up. I watched it before I went to bed and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Friday, I didn't know how to behave towards her. We met at our locker, said, "Good morning" and went to class together. For the first time, I was next to her during her morning ritual which had fascinated me so much during the first few weeks. I was still fascinated after experiencing it up close; she knew everyone's names and problems and concerns. And I asked myself how Jamie felt when he walked here beside her. Was he proud of the person – the institution – she was? Was he jealous of the reputation she had? What did it mean to him to be so close to this person everyone wanted to be close to? Did people actually get to know Helen, or did they only enjoy her interest and kind words?

I couldn't bear the thought that an intelligent, funny, caring person like Helen was with Jamie. To be fair, my knowledge of Jamie was scarce. He was kinda always there (because he was involved with both, Baker and Helen), but I never warmed up with him. Not through all the lunches and first periods English and theater rehearsals. His contributions to our conversations weren't witty or furthering, or in any way necessary. Even his football team was fine without him; he sat on the bench most of the time since he pretty seriously injured on his arm during the first week of practice.

And the whole molesting Helen – his girlfriend – fiasco a week ago didn't help my aversion towards him.

Helen's whole attitude towards me had changed though over – well, the past week basically. I thought about what Baker had said, that she liked me but didn't show it, and it seemed more plausible than a sudden 180. She smiled at me during lunch, put her hand on my arm when we were in front of our locker, asked me about my arts elective.

"You did that?" She looked at me with widened eyes.

I grinned proudly. In front of us was my latest sketch of one of our backdrops that would be built by my class until Christmas, until the play aired. It showed a church, flowers laying around a tomb, on it a blond person – unmistakably Helen – and another person kneeling in front of it.

"That is going to be fabulous!" She said and smiled up at me. My heart skipped a beat.

Long story short – I was in love with a girl that didn't show any interest in me.

And Baker very well knew.