Twilight: But The Cullens Adopt a Gen Z Kid

Chapter Five: Humans

"So Carlilse... can I ask a favor?" Carlilse and I had been in his office for a while now, he thought it important for me to learn vampire history. Jasper had just left after sharing a very gruesome experience in the vampire wars. I've never been a very big history person, but I had to admit it was really cool.

"Yes?" He said, facing me directly in a serious stance. I inhaled a breath to brace myself.

"I was wondering if it's possible for you to possibly turn my brother? And before you say you only turn people on the brink of death- if he believes that I am dead, he will be on the brink of death, he will no longer reside on this planet." I exhaled and sucked in a breath. "Thank you for your consideration." But wait, that wasn't convincing enough.

"He will drive himself to the edge looking for me, Carlilse. We've always been together, our whole lives. Even when things were trying to pull us apart and our world was collapsing, he's always taken care of me and I've always taken care of him. I can't let him think I'm dead, Carlilse." I stopped ranting not to catch the unnecessary oxygen for my lungs, but to gauge his response. His lips were pursed, arms crossed against his chest.

"Jace, consider what you're asking me. Everything you're feeling right now, everything you're dealing with. Do you really want your brother to have to do that as well?"

I looked down. "I know it's selfish. I know it's a lot to ask for. But he's the only reason why I feel the way I do. I can't do this without him." He sighed and took a step towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You can, Jace. This gets easier. And remember, you're not alone. All of us have experienced this."

"There isn't any way I can see him without him knowing? To see if he's okay? It would make me feel a lot better." Carlilse was quiet for a moment, thinking.

"Okay. But it can't be any time soon. You have to learn how to control yourself first. You're still so new, you need to train yourself to be around humans. And it wouldn't be much easier even then if there's something levitating around your body. We don't need to explain to anyone why that's happening, do we?" He glanced behind me. A pen had been floating by my head. I sighed in relief. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was better than nothing. "Sorry." The pen fell into my hand.

That was exactly two weeks ago, and it still replayed in my mind everyday. Everyday, I'd ask Carlilse. Everyday, I'd pester him. With no prevail. I wasn't ready.

There was a tiny town just 100 miles south of the cabin house that we'd go to. It started with the edge, just by the forest trails. The first human I'd ever been near since my change. The scorching hot branding iron that touched my throat was painful when I heard the guy's heartbeat, caught the whiff of his blood that ran through his veins. Every scenario, every possibility of how to get that blood down my throat ran through my head in seconds, and before I could lurch forward to sink my teeth into his neck, Carlilse and Jasper would drag me to the other side of the forest. I may be a newborn, but there was no way I could take both of them down. Especially Jasper, after hearing his experience.

It was always frightening afterward though, after my mind shifted back from predator to human, to myself again. It was hard to understand how I could be so animalistic, to only see my prey instead of a human being with family, with a life to live. I hated it. I loathed myself for it. Is this how I would feel if I was around my brother? I'd been so close to killing the hiker, what if I ended up actually killing Aiden?

After that experience, it got easier. The thought that if I succeeded to fight through my thirst, if I remembered what I was doing this for- it motivated me. I would see his face, I would hear his voice again. All I had to do was fight.