Forty-five

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The seconds passed into minutes, expanding into hours, bleeding into days. A blur of finals during the day and wrapped in Kyler's embrace at night. He had been true to his word, protecting me at all cost, never leaving my side. He was even bold enough to walk hand in hand with me down the courtyard, garnering curious glances from the other students. He was, however, the picture of a southern gentleman. Close to me, but chaste with his touch. He would kiss me briefly, but didn't hold me like he had before. He was careful. I assumed he took the precaution so that The Protection wouldn't pull him again. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother was continuing to monitor our situation in her oddly intrusive way.

It was six-thirty, but the campus was still bright and warm with delirious post-final students meandering through the walkways. Kyler wasn't waiting for me after my last final, and I was a little surprised. Still, I tried not to let my normal insecurities set in. Instead, I made the best of my alone time walking as slowly as I could through the rolling hills of campus feeling oddly nostalgic. I even dared to look fondly at the stone Dallas Christian University entrance sign that had, since that night, solely reminded me of Peter. It felt like the night in the courtyard was still so fresh, but also could have happened a million years ago, in a different lifetime, not just the beginning of this school year. Time had a funny way of speeding up when you weren't paying attention.

Four years ago, when I first walked this campus with my black gothic hoodie and thick charcoal eyeliner, I never thought I would become overwhelmingly fond of this small conservative school. To the same accord, I also never thought I would be sad to finish the mountain of schoolwork. I thought I would scream and cheer and pour champagne over the fire that held my past exams and papers, but I didn't feel any of the expected jubilation, I just felt tired. Maybe even a little sad. Like finishing a complex puzzle, only to realize you loved finding each jagged individual piece more than the resulting perfect picture. All that was left for me now was to walk the stage at graduation in three days.

I smiled at Christine who stood outside of the library, talking to a nice, quiet, Senior boy I recognized from Chapel. His curly black hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of his neck. I watched as he leaned in to give her a quick hug, and she blushed, following him hand in hand to his old red hatchback VW Jetta. I paused and said a silent prayer that he would love her and treat her as she deserved, and that in turn she would be happy. As they drove away, I slowly walked the half mile back to the apartment, inserting my gold key into the old lock as the sun began its descent. The sky was a beautiful cacophony of rose and tangerine and the air somehow smelled sweeter. Beth would be gone all night, informing me via text message that she was going back home for a rare dinner with her parents and staying the night afterwards. The door swung open suddenly and before I could react, I was swept into the most handsome, capable, loving pair of arms I could imagine. Kyler pressed himself against me, kissing me without any of his recent restraint.

"Oh, well, hello there," I purred, a little breathless from where I stood still, securely in his embrace. The sunset made his brilliant blonde hair glow a shade of strawberry. I tried to hide my amusement.

"I missed you," he said earnestly.

"I missed you too. I figured you may have been deported again when I came out of my exam and you weren't there waiting, in your usual spot, on the swinging bench." I teased him, attempting to wiggle myself from his embrace, but he held tight.

"You think you're funny, eh?" he asked, tickling my sides. "Well, I can tell you who didn't find me amusing. Princess Khan." He continued to tickle me, and I struggled against his strong arms, howling with laughter. His lips soon covered my own, silencing my laughing fit, until we were both breathless again, and he set me back on the ground. I had to test my legs before stepping back from him.

"What happened to leaving room for Jesus and not giving The Protection any extra ammo to send you away again?" I shook my head good naturedly, placing a hand to my now swollen lower lip. Not that I was complaining about this new increase in physical affection. If my now damp panties and I were being honest, I had craved him to touch me this way. He smiled his brilliant megawatt smile, reaching out a hand to gently stroke my lip. I felt the swelling diminish where his thumb touched but the dampness beneath my lacy underwear increased tenfold. Did he have the gift of sexual healing as well?!

"My night off officially started twenty minutes ago," he reasoned, weaving his hands back around my waist before he carried me over the threshold into my apartment. I tried to swallow the shriek as he flipped me and carried me over his shoulder, setting me down in the small blue kitchen. Two huge brown to-go bags sat on the counter along with a cardboard case of his special home brewed beer.

"What's this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as he began to unload white plastic containers from the bags. The smell of garlic and ginger filled the air and made my stomach growl.

"Chinese food. More specifically, moo goo gai pan, orange chicken, shrimp with string beans, and my own personal guilty pleasure - a combination lo mein. I hope you don't mind. I have a favorite place right around the corner." He continued to unload separate rice containers and opened each delicious dish with a dramatic 'voila' gesture of his arms. "You do like Chinese food, right?" He bit his full lower lip, now second guessing his kind gesture. I touched his arm and simultaneously reached around him for a paper plate.

"I love Chinese food, but you'll have to fight me for a water chestnut. They're my favorite." I grabbed a pair of chopsticks and threatened to pinch him as he used his super speed to grab one of the translucent crunchy chestnuts from the chicken dish.

We loaded up our plates and carried them into the living room, sitting close to one another on the black velvet couch. The couch Beth had "just happened to purchase to furnish our apartment." I was pretty sure I had seen both the couch and its high price in our Crate and Barrel magazine. The one that sat atop an equally expensive gray coffee table. Initially, I had felt guilty eating on such expensive furniture, seeing as everything back home was second hand, but over the years, this couch had seen many glasses of red wine and sushi dinners. The couch held its own quite well. The coffee table, however, had not been as fortunate. It was now riddled with a few red wine stains that were absorbed directly into the wood. I placed my beer on top of one of the stains, expertly using my long wooden chopsticks to eat as much of the Chinese food as possible. Kyler had been right, it was delicious, and I was a serious critic after living in The Pacific Northwest where Asian food was extremely authentic. I noisily slurped my last lo mein noodle into my mouth, and noticed him studying me. I instantly put a hand up to cover my face, self conscious, but he took my hand as I finished chewing, drawing circles in my palm.

"I think that is the most I've ever seen you eat. I'm so happy. You hardly eat enough, and I was just nervous you wouldn't like it at all," he admitted, and I shook my head adamantly.

"No, no. It was great. Thank you so much for dinner. Thank you so much for everything. Really." I climbed into his lap taking his face in my hands, staring, with my gray eyes, as far into his Brown Eyes as I possibly could. Wanting to live in this moment for the rest of my life. I hoped to make him understand the positive, life altering impact he had made on me. One I could never put into words or thank him enough for. It was like I had been lost in a sea of self doubt, insecurity, and unfulfillment before I met him, and he found a way to reach down and pull me above the surface.

"You're welcome Perry. You're worth it," he said simply, kissing me, not caring at all that my mouth probably tasted like an unsettling mix of garlic,soy sauce, and beer. I pushed myself inside of him, feeling him. This was the version of him I loved the most. Uninhibited. Raw. Honest. We continued to kiss until I felt both of my lips swell again. I pulled back and reached for the television remote.

"Have you ever heard of the Kardashians?" I asked, flipping to the correct channel through the guide on the TV screen. Remarkably, Kyler shook his head, and I selected the mind-numbing program, settling into his side.


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