She was my PROLOGUE

I'm okay

Chapter 3: I'm okay

"If you want love, go learn about it and fool yourself over and over again. Until you feel empty"

She was happy. Deeply happy. The way they leaned on each others embrace, how they slept so peacefully. How small snores would escape from their mouth. How contented they were— what If I told you that I wanted us to be like that too?

What can I do, to make everything stop hurting, Shuhua?

-Anonymous

"Miyeon? Breakfast is ready"  Minnie was beside her, glancing towards the oldest- who was deep in thoughts. Her face pale, her lips dry and her eyes tired. Something changed ever since she had the conversation with the producer and the vocal trainer.

Miyeon shook her head, directly standing up and looked at Minnie who was waiting for her. No time left, she smiled and left with Minnie. The lobby, where they mostly eat since it was closer to the dance floor– it was located in the 5th floor, their dorm was in the 4th flooor so it was easier since there's an elevator going up.

Plates empty, forks and spoons placed in order. They all cleaned up, taking the restroom in pairs. Shuhua always paired with Soojin but the manager changed it, though it shouldn't be a big deal but yeah. It made her confused, why all of a sudden? Who was her pair?

"Shuhua-ssi, come" it was none other than Yuqi. Yuqi was fine about not going to the toilet since she said didn't want to have a pair but the sudden scene of Shuhua being spaced out was hurting. Slowly, Shuhua held Yuqi, and went to the restroom. Vice versa guardiang each other. Shuhua was fixing her hair since it kept hitting her face, Yuqi was scrolling through her phone. "Done" Shuhua.

"Shuhua, how many times do I have to tell you.. left and right! You keep doing shortcuts and it's pissing everyone off, can't you see that..!?" The teacher said. What If everyone hated her?

Do they hate me?

If this was a game of TRUTH OR FALSE.. everyone should pick TRUTH'

She looked around, unsurprisingly, everyone was looking at her. Soojin looked tired, Minnie looked like she could give up, Miyeon was just looking at her, Soyeon sat on the cold floor and Yuqi was just walking forward towards Shuhua who looked so... depressed. Shuhua has been through alot and Yuqi was done looking at Shuhua looking like she haven't eaten nor slept in ages. Life sucked, so was knowing her best friend was depressed.

The teacher left, she still have some errands to do and everyone just stood there. Shuhua apologized but no answer came out from the teacher. Yeah, Shuhua was ignored.

Everyone sat there, looking at each other. Wondering what should they do next, not until Minnie spoke.

"Let's keep practicing" she said, putting back her towel and stood at the center. Everyone groaned. Shuhua felt so bad that she let go of the hold if Yuqi but Yuqi didn't allow that. 'I'm helping you' was what Yuqi mentally said. Everyone was okay, everything was okay but it was just this one person.

"Don't be dramatic, Shuhua, nothing is helping" Soojin spilled out coldly. Okay, is this how love works? Cause god dammit, it felt like you were drowning so deep that you can't breath fresh air and Shuhua was afraid of it. "Let's just put Shuhua at the back—" Soyeon, the least person Shuhua expected. Out of all, Shuhuas role model was Soyeon, but maybe she was a fool of it. Things were getting suffocated, Shuhua was just standing feeling her knees could give up, a rush of blood and electricity rushing through her body. Panic Attack.

'No, not in front of them.. please..'

Yuqi was keeping her self from exploding. Miyeon was keeping her eyes on Shuhua and Minnie was worried. Imagine being so betrayed by your friends, is that what you call FRIENDSHIP? Cause Yuqi wasn't having it. "It's funny how all of you are older than her and you guys act like you don't know the word 'PATIENCE'"Yuqi spat, Looking for reactions between Soojin and Soyeon. Shuhua was in the verge of letting go.

"If you're tired— then you're tired, but the fact that Shuhua here is trying her best today... is tiring. Imagine being so desperate to be perfect in everyone's eyes"

"I.. I'll just go to the other room and practice.." She said, immediately grabbing the door knob aggressively, trying to keep in her catchy breath, her eyes teary. Before everyone could follow her, Miyeon just had to grab her water jug and slam the door loudly. Yuqi and the others were left behind

"She isn't okay, and you all made it worse"

Dear diary

'It always hurts when the person who made you feel special yesterday, makes you feel unwanted today'