hi. if anyone watched *after* or read the books. you might recognize a scene.
Y/n Garner's POV -
"Miss. Garner, please stay after class". Professor Lupin was back. Thank god. He was the father figure at school for me. And he treated Brynn as his own.
Class let out and the students all left.
"Dear God...child I am so sorry". His arms flew around me, his hand rested against the back of my head. He didn't ask questions. Just was there.
"Thank you." I whispered. Although there was really not much to say.
"And I'm sorry for you, Professor... I know you loved Brynn like a daughter." I wanted to be there for him aswell.
"I think we all loved Brynn." He spoke back honest words.
Fact.
"How's your other sister?" He started the conversation.
"Kayla's good. I think.".."She found the right people."
"And you haven't?" He questioned back.
"I...I think I have. But honestly I'm not sure about one of them." I hesitantly answered.
"Well. It always helps to tell another person", He was implying for me to inform him.
I never second guessed how intelligent Professor Lupin was, So I had a feeling he already knew who I was suggesting.
I stayed silent, debating whether to fully open up to him.
"I think this might help you...reconsider." He stated while gently handing a folder with parchment, over to me.
"Do you remember the Riddikulus essay I had your class write...where you had to explain your own escape from fear." He continued.
"Yeah...Is this mine?" I examined the black folder covering the parchment, "Did I fail.." my hand covered my mouth.
"No. You actually got the best grade.".."but this one not far behind yours."
"Erm..who's is it?" I began to flip the cover page of the paper. It read,
"One's biggest fear and its solution." By Draco Malfoy.
"Now. I'm not supposed to do this...but, I don't think he wrote it solely for my class." He spoke while patting my shoulder.
I took a seat at an empty desk.
My fingers followed the first sentence.
...
"Some may say fear is inevitable. I to this agree on such terms, but theres always a probable solution. The end or beginning, you'll always have a way out. Whether you realize it or not."
"To play out further, that solution can take place in the form of anyone or anything. For example, the start is realizing you have a fear. Letting your conscience become aware that there is no escape from terror. To come forward and face it is all you can do. Willingly, other people will choose to help."
"Within the personal aspect. A fear of mine would conclude such subjects as abandonment ; being left alone. But, to put that in words is more than difficult. Although, with just me admitting it, that's the first step."
"The second level. Well, mine stepped into to my life not too long ago. She rocked my world. Put up a fight I've never seen before. And just like that, somehow that stupid fear went away. The feeling of nostalgia, a version of my past self, that I didn't even know I had."
"All my life I had been living to be afraid, to perish in the black and white. Terrified of what fear would do, if it would become real, or if I could find the strength to conquer it. But as I learn to live, she made me realize I don't have to battle terror by alone. She helped me discover the grey area."
"Some may consider this random, but I say luck. A peak in my life that I never thought to exist. Well, that didn't exist, until she created it. How a person can make something I've always been afraid of, just disappear? Well that's beyond my knowledge."
"But what I do know is, the moment I took to sit back and realize that life was providing me a second chance. Somehow in a world thats horrible, filled with beings that are so afraid of what comes next, we cease to find a silver lining. Yet, if we look closely, there alway's is one."
"So in all conclusion, My biggest fear you could say, is solved by an ungodly solution, and that's her."
....
I flipped the dark covering back over the parchment.
I was speechless as how he painted every emotion he felt so perfectly. How he could write his biggest fear on paper, yet had such a difficult time telling me.
But I guess that's what he liked most. I helped him without even realizing. That his fear didn't matter, essentially I didn't see him to be scared or afraid of whats to come...just as a boy.
His complex mind spinning every word that he felt, towards me as a savior almost.
So not only did I save him, but he saved me aswell.
I felt no purpose to my life, I was living for nothing, everyone was dying around me except for myself. So ending me would practically stop the death of others that meant most to me.
But losing myself, would then be losing him.
"How did you know..?" My eyes flickered back up.
The professor was fixing cabinets aligned on the wall, "I had a feeling. After he saved you from your fear in class." .."And here you are saving him." He smiled.
I handed back the essay and sat on the top of the desk.
"Can I ask you something?" I spoke quietly..
"Of course. Anything."
This question was personal, but I knew his answer would be honest, "How did you know you loved Tonks?"
He let out a chuckle and paused his actions.
"Well..I suppose I just knew that she was the women for me.".."I always got a feeling every time she crossed my mind, envisions of marrying her, creating a life with her. I knew she made me happy. And why not let yourself be happy?" He looked across to me.
Draco made me happy. Yet, he was so conflicting towards me.
"Was she ever..confusing sometimes?"
"Oh always.".."She did things I never thought acceptable, but then the moment of loving her, overpowered that." He began to walk over to me.
"I know it's difficult sometimes. But you have to let yourself live with what you got. And from what I can tell...your all he has. You never know what could happen tomorrow. Take nothing for granted." He finished off.
I let his meaningful words soak in.
"What if i'm afraid.."
"Letting fear get the best of you?"
"Well my biggest fear was Brynn dying.. and that.. that happened."
His eyes softened.
"So if you're saying your fear came true..then don't let losing him become one. You cannot enable the power of terror to overcome whatever joy you two have.".." A life in fear, is simply not one being lived."
I nodded my head.
"Take your time. But think about what HE wrote. Understand what impact you make on him. And ask yourself, what affect does he have on you?"
Well, Only the biggest one.
a/n - i love this chapter, and professor lupin.
