The Night We Came to Be

A White Knight

12/28, Midnight, Sunday

It's funny, considering this information is now glued stuck to my brain, but this morning, I found out that turtles once used their retracting necks not only for protection but for hunting as well.

That's weird. I mean, they're herbivores, right? They're supposed to be kind and, you know, don't bite. There are cases of the snapping turtles, but that's only a small portion! 

What I mean is, you should be lucky enough to find a turtle that doesn't lunge at you with their beaks.

Unfortunately for me, that doesn't seem to be the case. This particular turtle, won't stop biting me. It just won't stop.

All night long, I've let time pass by while I wistfully stared into the eyes of this... turtle. This green, innocent stuffed toy.

"She didn't have to throw you, little buddy. I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal." 

Strange. It kept gnawing at my head. For some reason, through it's huge, bulging eyes, it seems like it wants to tell me something.

"Kid, you're thinking of a tortoise."

I jumped, alerted by the sudden voice. They just love to do this kind of thing, huh?

"Dad, c'mon, were you listening there the entire time?" I asked.

"Sure did."

Steeling myself, I shot Dad a daring glare. "What do you want, dad? I'm in the middle of--"

"Doing absolutely nothing," he continued. Despite my efforts of driving him away, Dad smiles. "Your phone's been ringing for you downstairs. You might wanna answer that."

With that, he left.

Huh? Who is it now?

As I went to get my phone, I checked my notifications to see... "Twelve missed calls? Damn." And right on cue, the caller rang again. "H-Helene?"

Helene. Last I talked to her, she made it pretty clear that she didn't want to associate herself with me any further. Apparently, I'm so bad at picking her up, she skipped through my entire existence and ditched me as early as possible.

But this is weird. I wonder why?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Darryl," Helene replied. She doesn't sound too hostile. "I've been contacting you for ages, you sure know how to make a girl wait." So snide. Typical Helene.

"Helene, what's up? What'd you wanna tell me?"

"Oh, you're busy, I assume? Hmm, then I'll keep this brief... and frank." Why, what's the matter?

"You see, your mom came to me a few days ago, asking me a lot of stuff. I mean, a lot. And no offense, I was surprised to see her think of me as your best buddy buddy. No shade," she explained.

"Don't worry, I complied, answered her questions, and moved on quick. That's it," Helene assured. "But recently, I've heard my mom's conversations, and she mentioned your mom freaking out at work. She's been crying and all that stuff. I mean, is she alright?"

This is what she called me for? She was actually worried?

"I hope I didn't make too much of a ruckus. I hate to be a troublemaker, y'know? I can be a mean girl but parent territory, is way over the line. So..." she trailed off, then started again. "Can you tell me it's not my fault?"

I freeze. My brain stopped functioning, my toes curled up, and my palms sweat like a waterfall. What should I say?

"I... It's..." Why is this so hard? Why am I having such a hard time?

"Darryl, come on, I don't got all night!" Helene demanded.

I gulp. After going through the idea in my head a million, billion, trillion times, I mutter the words, "It's n-not your fault."

She might've sensed the shrillness in my voice. "Okay, thanks Darryl! Bye! Goodnight! Smooches!"

Nonetheless, Helene was still Helene.

So, does that mean... Maya was still Maya? She was telling the truth? It was not her who unknowingly sold me out, but Helene all this time?

Damn it, I just don't understand! Was I wrong? Was I wrong to doubt her?

I'm actually, undeniably... wrong?

"Thinking long and hard, I reckon?" Dad called out without warning. Why does he keep doing that?

"Dang, Dad, again? Why do you always have to sneak up on me?" He laughs. Though, it wasn't his drunk, stubborn laugh that reverberated all throughout the neighborhood. It was his wholesome, father-like laugh. For some reason, I'm kind of used to that as well.

"Isn't it less a matter of why, but how? I mean look at me!" He gestures to his not-so-fit stature. "My sexy bod that your Ma has grown to love, it perished along with everything else. Wait, that sounds too dramatic, I'm sorry!"

He laughs once more. Despite my feelings, I can't help but smile as well. "Feeling rather good today, dad."

He grins, the widest he'd displayed in over a month. "Well, it just so happens that your father's finally found a job." My eyes widen with... excitement. "Your father's finally putting his life back together, son."

It was a magnetic pull, a force that led me wrapped around his arms. It's been really round and big since I was last in a hug like this with him. Gosh, he has gotten fatter. After a few soothing seconds, I pull out of the hug.

"Wow, that's... really, really good, dad. I'm proud of you. Truly, I am." I smile amidst my confusion, just to tell Dad that, he did well. He did well.

He did well.

"You did well."

One can only hope to do just as good. Eventually, I droop to the side, the despair embedded deep within my lonely heart growing harder and thicker. Cowering and shuddering, that's all I did, despite the big news my dad had just shared.

"Kid, what's wrong?"

Another night of swollen eyes, I can feel it.

"Dad, tell me how."

"How what?"

"Tell me how to change."

"Son..."

"Tell me how." I sunk lower, much lower than before. "You managed to change, so how can I? How should I, after everything I've done? How can I fix myself, when all the pieces I've lost are scattered, nowhere to be found?"

Dad reels me in for another warm hug. and I let it happen. "Son, you don't have to ponder over every little detail."

Huh?

"Sometimes, you just have to, well, do it. It's not that easy and quick but, once you got the hang of that, everything else will sort itself out."

But...

"Trust yourself, son." He inches his head closer to mine.

"It will work out for you. I promise."