Some clouds don't rain

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It has been ten months since we move to our new home. It’s quite difficult for me to adjust. I’ve been miserable since we came here. Naririnig ko palaging nag-aaway sina mommy at daddy. Yung mga tingin ni mommy tuwing nasa harapan niya ako alam kong  may ibig sabihin. I made them worried for no reason. I guess…kase hindi ko din alam, e.

Pumayag nga akong lumipat dito pero mayroon sa loob kong gustong bumalik. My mind gone haywire. I don’t even know how to feel after what happened. But I know something change in me.

Sa loob ng bawat buwan oras na lumilipas ay puro lang paglapat sa lahat ng nangyari ang ginawa ko. I realized I was adjusting as there’s made up adjustment for me. Parang matagal ng nakalaan sa akin ang adjustment na iyon. Mukhang hinihintay na lang ako. And that makes me so numb right now. So numb that I don’t want to feel anymore.

They keep saying there’s great in everything. Tingin ko naman tama sila. I was able to go outside freely. Even without consent. Hinayaan din ako nila mommy at daddy na gumala. I don’t know what’s up with them. Siguro pampalubag lang ng loob ko.

Ngayong araw namin susunduin si Dr. Clara. Ang plano ay dapat next week pa siya susunod pero mas gugustuhin niya raw pumunta ng mas maaga kesa lalo akong malipasan sa pag-inom ng gamot. Isang buwan na din akong walang panlunas sa mga marka ko. Kaya mas makati at mapula kumpara noon. Naubos yung lahat ng antihistamine kong dinala.

It takes me a few minutes preparing before I go out. Malimit na pinagbabawal ni daddy ang maraming tao sa bahay kaya minabuti niyang magbawas ng kasambahay. Ang pinagkakatiwalaan lang namin na sina Nana lena at ate olive lang ang sinama niya dito sa bagong bahay namin.  Maiiwan si Hugo ki Ate Olive pansamantala.

Dad insisted he’ll drive us to where we will fetch Dr. Clara kaya grabe na naman ang pagpaparinig ni Hugo tungkol sa pagiging stuck niya dito sa bahay. Tsk. Parang ‘di na nasanay.

“you look fine today…”

Nakita kong siniko ni mommy si Hugo dahil sa sinabi.

“take that as positive ate hehe” napakamot ng ulo si hugo.

Maliit lang na ngiti ang naisukli ko.
Most of the time hugo’s words for me are kinda painstaking. They’re being careful of my state but I don’t want them to act like it so I make myself more fine today. I think it’s effective because hugo noticed.

I know I’ve affected this household of my misery. Especially my brother I know he don’t want to be here either. I feel it. During that night I heard him cry holding his phone before he through it to the trash bin. Nagsisi ako na pati siya ay nadadamay pero kahit na ganoon ako parin ang uunahin niya. I’m blessed I have him as my brother, I love him so much.

“shall we go now?” dad asked while fixing his sleeves.

Mom helped him doing it. I smile behind my mouth. I’m thankful I have them. I promise I’ll improve for them.
I hugged hugo before saying my goodbye.

“we won’t be long. Ask ate olive if you want anything, okay?”

“I’m not a baby anymore. I can take care of myself ate, tsk.”

“of course pero mahilig ka paren magpadinig. I think it’s your nature.” Natawa ako sa binigay niyang reaksiyon.

“just go, tsk.”

Mabilis akong humabol kina mommy at daddy nang guluhin ko aang buhok ni hugo. He hates it. I heard him scream habang ako ay tumatawang sumakay sa kotse.

“let’s go?” dad asked.

Tumango lang ako hindi parin mawala ang ngiti sa labi.

Nang makarating kami sa terminal wala parin si Dr. Clara kaya habang naghihintay sinabihan ko si mommy na bibili lang ako ng soda. May tindahan sa malapit kaya duon na lang ako bumili.