Crimson Lace

Chapter 25

WESLEY
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The road has been long but I can't say I am complaining, not when Ash is asleep in my lap, looking like an angel.

There are other Serfs on this flight, so to avoid embarrassing myself, I have to act as though having a girl this close isn't completely foreign to me.

I stare out the small circular window at the voluminous clouds that are pink and aflame with the setting sun as I try not to smile like a fool. The glow from the light reaches into the airplane and casts a warm, golden light across her hair.

I can't stop myself and use the back of my hand to brush it off her face. I shiver as my knuckles slide across the soft curve of her cheek, avoiding the long scar on her face. It pains me to see, and I don't want to think about what she had to go through to acquire it.

Her eyes flutter open, a brighter blue than the sky. I let out a breathy laugh, and clamp my lips shut to keep from smiling. She's still sleepy, but reaches up to caress my nose with the tip of her finger. I swear my heart melts.

"You're so cute," she murmurs, her rosy lips parted ever so slightly.

"You're delirious," I chuckle.

She shifts, pulling herself up so that she is sitting in her own chair. It takes everything in me to refrain from frowning as her warmth leaves my legs. She tightens her buckles and tilts her head back against the seat.

"Why move?" I ask, keeping my tone neutral.

She senses my annoyance anyway and rolls her eyes. "Miss me or something, Wes?"

"I thought you were dead all these years. Cut me some slack." Is it really such a shame for me to want to be close to her after all this time of being apart? She's one of my best friends.

A best friend. Elle is my best friend.

My mind wanders to a less happy thought, one that makes me want to puke into the paper barf bags tucked away in the back of the seat in front of me. I stare out the window, trying to breathe. Every second we get closer and closer to the Sublandds, and farther away from where Elle is being tortured.

I am a horrible person. An incredibly terrible person. This is no time to be taking a vacation or enjoying the pleasure of Ash's company. I clench my fists so tightly, my nails digging into my palms. The phantom of guilt coils around my throat, threatening to squeeze. It should be me suffering, not Elle. She doesn't deserve whatever pain she is enduring. Tears prick at my eyes. The last time I was apart from her this long was when I was drafted into the war. That was a time I told myself I wouldn't relive, but now the memories of leaving her are all I can think about.

Ash seems to notice my change in mood, because she places her hand to my own, fingers intertwined with mine. I inhale deeply, using what I know to calm myself down. Without Mute, I am forced to find new ways to soothe myself. The doctors Gore offered me say that I need to focus on breathing.

Ash tilts my chin upward to face her. "In no world and no way are you allowed to be sad on our business trip."

I sniffle embarrassingly. She doesn't need to attempt to cheer me up. I don't know if I deserve to be happy. Sometimes drowning in my sorrows feels like a worthy punishment for the lives I took on the frontlines and the secrets I kept from Elle days before I left. If I had told her what I read in the General's office, then maybe she would have found a way to be okay. Maybe I didn't need to jump to conclusions and assume she needed to be contained.

Now I've given her that damn crimson lace and I have no idea what it is really meant to do.

I bury my head in my hands, letting the darkness block out the painful thoughts that make my stomach churn violently like butter.

Soft hands loop around my wrists, not bothering to be gentle as she yanks my palms away from my face. Ash tilts my chin toward her, forcing me to meet her eyes. Those beautiful eyes. There is something so kind about her expression, so full of empathy and yet frustration at the same time.

She scowls, booping my nose. "I said no sadness."

I chuckle, wiping my linen sleeve across my dripping wet eyes. "Sorry. I'm totally killing the whole fun and adventurous vibe."

She shrugs, adjusting the belt on her hips that conceals her pistols. "A little, but don't apologize for the way you are feeling. I don't want you to be upset, that's all."

To my annoyance, I sniffle again. "Let's just talk or something. I need a distraction."

She smiles, brightly and begins to undo her buckles. I feel the heat rising under my cheeks as she takes a seat on my lap, straddling my thighs and pressing a hand to my chest, making me lean back. Her body fits perfectly against mine, like a missing puzzle piece that I have finally found.

"What are you doing?" I sit up straighter to meet her gaze, but my eyes can't help but wander below her face to the perfect body before me.

"You said distract." She cocks her head to the side like an innocent cat. "Is this not what you meant?" She nibbles on her bottom lip ever so slightly.

Damn, Ash sure does know what game she is playing. I glance around at the others on the flight. No one seems to care that she is fully on top of me. People are too busy napping or reading the newspapers to notice. Besides, we are further in the back. Everyone else is in front of us.

"I wasn't expecting this," I gesture to where our hips meet. "But I can't say I'm opposed to the situation." I'm careful to keep my voice down as I speak, so as not to turn heads in our direction.

She dips her head back to laugh. I eye the curve of her neck, imagining what it would be like to kiss it. She seems to have read my mind, and leans forward slowly. Her eyes digging into mine. It takes all of my concentration to keep from pulling her closer against me. I let her come to me first, allowing her to make the choice. If she wants to be more than friends, so be it.

She places a finger under my chin, turning my head to the right as she leans down and presses her lips to my jaw. I close my eyes as butterflies flourish along my skin. Her breath is warm and pleasant against my face as she whispers in my ear, "it's a shame we have an audience."

My gaze snaps up to meet hers. What is she doing to me? "There's a bathroom," I say, almost too quickly, letting my hands fall into place on her waist.

A devilish grin splits her lips. "That's disgusting." She rolls off of me, and back into her own seat. "Don't be such a pig, Wes."

My mouth falls open as I struggle to find words. The absence of her body in my lap makes me want to pull her into the bathroom and ask her for things too inappropriate to mention.

"You wicked lady."

She snorts, clipping her buckles back into place. "You said to distract. Did I not deliver?"

Oh, she delivered. Perhaps too much, because now I don't know if I will ever be able to think straight while in her presence. This business trip better end with her and I in the same bed or else I might just lose my mind.