keep me » larry a.u.

twenty-nine

"I can't believe I'm exposing my child to this trash."

"Shh!" Lottie's eyes are glued to the screen. Harry rolls his eyes, looking down at Layla, who's cradled against his chest. She blinks up at him with big, blue eyes and he grins, brushing back the dark, thin hair on her head. His phone starts to vibrate from where it's laying next to him, and he picks it up to see Louis' facetiming him.

"Can you pause it? 'S Lou," He says.

Lottie huffs, but she obeys, pausing the telly as Harry answers the call. "Hiii."

"Lemme see her."

"Me?" Lottie grins, poking her head into the shot.

"Ew, no. My daughter."

Lottie pouts, and Harry giggles, angling the camera downward so Louis can see Layla. "Hiii, Bub! Are you being behaving?" Layla blinks. "I miss you so much, I can't wait to see you!"

"Ew," Lottie mutters.

"And tell Aunty Lottie to eat my arse!"

"Oi!" Lottie huffs again.

"Hey, be nice," Harry warns, putting the camera back on him. Louis' playful expression melts into a fond smile. "What?"

"You look nice, is all," Louis shrugs. "I miss you. I miss your face."

Harry's face softens. He misses Louis too, more than anything. It's been a few days since he's seen him. "Surgery tomorrow," Harry says quietly. "How're you feeling?"

"Whether it works or not, I'm coming home after."

"Lou," Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"I'm tired, Hazza," Louis says softly. "I can't do it anymore. The chemo and the surgeries and staying in a bed 24/7. I wanna come home."

"But...Louis," Harry can feel the panic settle in his stomach. "Y-You can't. You can't just...stop. Y-You'll..."

"Hey," Louis interrupts. "Let's see how tomorrow goes before worrying about it, okay?" Harry can hear a knock on the door on Louis' end, and a nurse speaking. Louis sighs. "'Ve gotta go, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"O-Okay," Harry says softly. "I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

Louis hangs up. Harry swallows thickly, and he looks over to Lottie, who's expression is just as nervous as Harry's. "H, h-he's gonna die if he comes home," Lottie chokes out. "You have to talk him out of it, he can't do this."

"Hey," Harry says gently. "Relax. You heard him, let's not worry until after the surgery." Except Harry is very, very worried. The door swings open, and Félicité is there to save him.

"I'm done with my homework," She exhales in relief. "Can I hold the baby?"

Harry giggles. "Sure," He says. Félicité plops down onto Lottie's bed, and Harry gently passes Layla over to her. The sinking feeling in his stomach doesn't go away, and he watches Félicité closely. He'd never say it, because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but he only trusts himself, Louis, and Jay to hold the baby. He doesn't like when other people ask to.

"She's quiet," Lottie observes, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. It's still a faded pink colour. "Ernie 'nd D were so annoying."

"They both had colic," Félicité points out.

"They were both loud."

Harry laughs a little, eyes still glued to Layla. Félicité must notice the uncomfortable look on his face, because she gently passes Layla back to him, and he feels instant relief. "I'm gonna go make pizza rolls, do you guys want some?"

"Sure," Harry says, and Lottie agrees. Félicité leaves again, and Lottie looks back at Harry.

"Harry," Lottie says softly. "You can't let him come home."

"What am I supposed to do?" Harry sighs, fixing the collar of Layla's tiny baby grow. "He won't listen to me, and as much as it hurts," Harry's voice wavers. He closes his eyes. "As much as it hurts, it's his decision. He's so tired, and in so much pain most of the time. I don't have any right to tell him what to do."

"He's the father of your child!" Lottie exclaims, eyes teary.

"And how selfish would it be for me to tell him no, you can't die, because we have a baby together!" Harry raises his voice a little, oblivious to the fact that Jay is listening, standing in the doorway. "That's not my place, that's not anyone's decision except his own," He takes a deep breath. "Why are we worrying about something when we don't know whether or not we have to yet? Just...drop it."

Lottie looks so angry, more infuriated than Harry has ever seen her. She gets up off of her bed and storms out of the room, pushing passed Jay, who watches her with a blank face. Harry furrows his eyebrows upon noticing her presence. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you, I..."

"It's okay," Jay assures, voice much steadier and much calmer than Harry's. She walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed, but Harry keeps his eyes on Layla. "She's still young, love," Jay says quietly. "So are you, but. Mentally. She's...she doesn't understand yet."

"I know," Harry says softly. He's not so sure he understands either.

"Louis and I, we've talked about this," Jay says through a deep breath. Her voice isn't as steady anymore. "And...it is, ultimately, his decision. I know he was reluctant to even do this surgery."

If you had told Harry two years ago that he would be in this situation, he probably wouldn't believe you. He would probably ask how he could've been so stupid. How he put himself into this situation knowing this could be the outcome. Present Harry wouldn't have an answer.