Music Heals All Wounds

Chapter 7

Essence

My eyes scanned each row of the shelf a thousand times, trying to figure out which nail polish color I should choose. This was hands down one of the hardest decisions a girl has to make in life.
It was a warm Sunday afternoon and it was Maya's idea for us to have a girls' day type of thing which I was completely down for. I needed some time to just relax and unwind. I didn't want to think any negative thoughts, I just wanted to have a good time. Only a week and a half had passed since I'd been released, and I was struggling trying to return to normalcy after everything that had happened. My music helped me out a lot with that, but it was still a challenge.

"You know what color you're gonna get?" Maya asked from the chair beside me.

"I can't decide. There's too many colors to choose from."

"I think I'mma go with white, you can't go wrong with white." She said as she grabbed the bottle of white nail polish. I wanted to go a different route from what I usually do and choose a color that was out of my comfort zone, but since I couldn't decide, I figured I'd just go with nude and leave it at that.

"So, you remember that guy I was telling you about?" Maya asked.

"The guy you said you weren't sure about? Messiah? Malachi? I don't know, something with a M."

"Malik. And yes, that's the one. So, you know I already told you my women's intuition was kicking in and I could tell something was off about him. It just felt like he was hiding something and now I know what it is." She said as our nail techs began to apply the polish to our nails. "So, tell me why this nigga is a daddy. Like a daddy daddy, a full fledged father, this dude has five kids. "

"Five? He's only twenty." I said to her, shocked at the revelation.

"Girl, he needs to be neutered. I was wondering why he was always so secretive and why he seemed to never have time for me. It makes perfect sense now, it's hard to make time for me when he has five other little people who need his time as well."

"I don't know how people have so many kids. I only want one, two at the most, but five is too much. I would be going crazy. So, I guess you're done with him?"

"Done is an understatement. Five kids and four baby mamas? That's too many people involved and too much drama for what I'm trying to do. It sucks though. He had a cute friend who is single and I just knew the four of us could double date, but he had to fuck up my plans."

"That wasn't going to happen anyways, sis. Whether he had five kids or not." I voiced as I looked at her as if she had lost her mind. In no way, shape, or form was I ready for another relationship, nor was I ready to even entertain the idea of dating. Jeremiah had only died three months ago.

"Well not right now, of course. I was thinking sometime down the line I'd run the idea by you and hope that maybe you'd say yes."

"It was going to be a strong hell no."

"Wow." She laughed. "But no seriously, when do you think you'll be ready to date again? I'm not trying to rush you or anything, I'm just curious."

"I have no idea when I'll be ready for all that honestly. I'm not good with guys or relationships at all. I don't know how to be in a relationship or what to expect from one. It's just easier to not think about it."

"Well, what about your parents' relationship? They've been married for over twenty years, growing up in a household with them and their love on display like that, you never wanted to have a relationship like theirs?"

"You know, it's crazy because as a little girl that was all I wanted. I would see my parents loving on each other in the kitchen, stealing kisses here and there. I would see the way they looked at each other and I couldn't wait to experience something like that. But even with having such a great example in front of me, I still don't know how to achieve that for myself."