Adopted (a Zalfie fanfic) [1]

Chapter 20

Authors Note:
Very, very sorry for not updating in a while! The style of this chapter is sort of a look back over the things that have happened so that my timings can be sorted out. That didn't make any sense but ah well, ahahaha.

*Lily's POV*
The next few months were filled with paperwork and visits with my soon to be parents. Most of them went alright I suppose, but there were a few days where I felt super anxious and didn't feel up to doing anything. I felt bad on Zoe and Alfie when I was like this but it couldn't really be helped. I hadn't felt like I belonged to anyone in six years so adjusting to 'family' life was very difficult. Over the years I had learnt to keep everything to myself as nobody ever listened so talking about things to Zoe and Alfie was very overwhelming and scary.

However, as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I started to feel more relaxed and comfortable around the two, Zoe in particular. But that was in the comfort of my own home. Visiting Zoe and Alfie's house was a very different story. I thought I would be okay, I had seen their house enough time in the background of vlogs. What was there to worry about? Apparently a lot.

That first visit to their place was in early November. I had hardly any sleep the previous night worrying about it. I was so anxious I bit my lip too hard and made it bleed. I was most worried about what would happen if I started panicking. Usually I would go up to my bedroom or out to the garden. I couldn't just do that in their house. I was scared of having a full on panic attack in front of them both.

Turns out the worrying was for nothing. The visit went fine apart from the fact that I was so on edge I couldn't relax at all and felt like I didn't belong there. But the worst was yet to come. Just before Christmas, Emma organised my fist overnight stay at Zoe's and Alfie's. There had been talk about it for a while, but it hadn't been approved yet. I spent the weeks leading up to it worrying and panicking about it. To any normal person, this wouldn't have been such a big deal, quite a treat actually, but when you've been to stay in some horrific places with sinister people, it sort of is. I knew Zoe and Alfie wouldn't so much as lay a finger on me but it didn't stop me worrying.

What was playing on my mind the most was something that had bothered me from the start. The nightmare. What if I was to wake up crying? It had happened before, in fact, I once woke up and had a panic attack at 1 o'clock in the morning. Not a fun experience. If I were to have a panic attack there, Zoe or Alfie would be certain to hear me in their quiet household.

The day of the visit was a weird one. I woke early, anxious about the day ahead. I hadn't slept anywhere other than my own bed in over two years so it was a big deal. Most of the morning and early afternoon was spent watching YouTubers and lounging around until I realised the time and rushed to pack my things.

Emma dropped me off at the Zalfie household at 4pm. She stayed for a little while to make me feel more comfortable before leaving the three of us on our own. The evening was quite alright to be honest, but it weren't that I was worried about. We ate pizza and watched Disney films in our pyjamas until all of us had nearly fallen asleep on the couch. "Wow, it's past midnight, I think it's bedtime for me." Zoe said, yawning.

"Me too, I've got a meeting in the morning that I'd forgot about." Alfie chuckled. "You coming up Lily?"

I nodded, my heartbeat starting to quicken. Without drawing attention to the fact I was on the edge of having an anxiety attack, I went upstairs with Zoe and Alfie and did my normal night time routine. I washed my face and brushed my teeth without a fuss, I shoved my hair in a topknot and climbed into bed with nothing but the dread of sleeping in a bed that wasn't mine, in a room that wasn't familiar.

The room was nothing like the ones I had experienced before. White walls yes, but there were pops of colour all around the room. A desk sat in the corner with coloured stationary and notepads. On the bookshelves stood a variety of different little bits and bobs, from fawn ornaments to retro radios. Warm white fairy lights were strung up on the headboard of the double bed, running along the empty dressing table. It was all very Zoe, all very me.

I sat up, back against the headboard, listening to the soft murmur of Zoe and Alfie's voices on the other side of the house. I listened as Zoe headed onto the landing and I listened as I heard her quiet footsteps walk across the stretch of carpet and pause outside my bedroom door. She knocked feebly and waited a second before entering my room. She walked across the hardwood floor and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. Not even Zoe could tame the overwhelming feeling of panic rising in my body. I sat, fiddling with my fingers and biting my lip as I usually do when I get anxious.

Zoe must have observed my behaviour over the last few months because her small, warm hand was placed on my leg and she said, "Are you okay? Trust me, I know it's scary sleeping in a place your not familiar with. I used to feel the same way. But it'll be alright."

I nodded, for fear that if I spoke I would cry.

"Do you like your room? It's not quite done yet but-"

"M-my room?" I asked. Wow, I thought it was way to big and intricate to be my room. I wasn't used to having so much when I had always had so little.

"Yeah! Do you like it?" She asked again. She was smiling from ear to ear. I knew how happy she was about me staying over for the first time and I didn't want to spoil it.

I simply nodded and whispered "I-I love it."

"If you need anything in the night, come and wake me up. I won't mind." She said, trying to reassure me.

I nodded again and looked around at my new surroundings. Don't get me wrong, I liked the room, but it wasn't home. Even though my bed at the care home was a single, it was creaky and the mattress was lumpy, it was the place I felt safe. Here, I felt smothered by the freshly washed sheets on the massive bed.

Zoe stayed for a little while longer until she was struggling to stay awake. "Goodnight Lily. I love you." She whispered in my ear as she hugged me goodnight. She planted a small kiss on my forehead before leaving the room. I didn't even have time to respond. In all honesty, I was in shock. I hadn't heard those three words since the day of the car crash, the day I lost the two people who meant the most to me.

It was late, and soon enough, tiredness overcome me and I drifted off into what I hoped would be a peaceful sleep. I couldn't have been more wrong.