Some people found comfort in sitting next to a fireplace or having someone hold onto them and whisper sweet nothing into their ear. James Potter did not find comfort in any of these things, instead finding comfort in food, specifically sweet food th...
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thirty seven: it really is all doom and gloom
It wasn't only the Potters that had been put on edge by the sudden appearance of the dark lord. Sirius Black had spent his nights worried and mentally pacing as he lay in bed next to Louisa who was equally as concerned but for other reasons. Sirius knew that his place within the order could pose a threat to Louisa who had nothing to do with the whole thing but if Matilda had been roped in, what's stopping Louisa from experiencing the same.
Louisa's worries were more focused on that of her best friend. She knew Matilda was capable and if need be she could defend herself in a sticky situation but she knew that the girl wasn't one to get into fights. Matilda Allens wouldn't dare to hurt anyone and that's what worried Louisa. She worried that if it came to it, Matilda would not defend herself out of fear of hurting the person who was out to get her.
"Sirius." Louisa rolled over in her bed, barely hearing any acknowledgment, only knowing he was awake by his hand gripping her waist to pull her closer.
"Yes, Love?" Louisa knew her next comment would go either of two ways: one, he would be on board, or two, he would outright refuse.
"I want to join the order." Sirius felt himself immediately tense up at the suggestion before letting it all out in a sigh. I mean, he completely understood why she would want to join, he knew she was scared and wanted to help but his fear of her getting hurt consumed him.
"I don't think that's the best idea." Louisa tried to pull further away from Sirius but he held her in place feeling a pang in his chest.
"I don't want you to get hurt. We don't need any more members anyway." Louisa calmed down slightly and looked into his eyes that were pleading her to drop it.
"Just focus on your future." Louisa's calm quickly turned into pure anger as she jumped out of bed and used her wand to illuminate the room.
"My future! My future! Sirius Black, I don't think you quite understand that you are included in my future. I'm sick of feeling useless. All you do is go out and fight, day after day after day. And I'm here worried about you. I'm sick of being worried that you aren't going to walk through the door, I want to do something meaningful. I want to help." Louisa looked at Sirius, with her hair wild and adrenaline pumping through her body. She searched his face for any sign of weakness or any emotion that was stoic.
Sirius Black didn't know what to say. The quick-witted boy had come up blank. All he could do was sit there and look dumb as Louisa's eyes began getting glossy, the look in her eyes begin him to say something, anything. The silence was deafening and he felt like it was choking him.
"I'll talk to Dumbledore. Just please, come back to bed. I don't want to fight with you tonight. I just need to know you're okay and we're okay." Sirius opened his arms causing a tired Louisa to go back into the bed and crawl into them. Sirius moved her so she was in his lap and arms were curled around her, trying to pull her closer than was physically possible. She still felt a sadness inside her from his comment from before but she felt safe curled up against his bare chest.
"We're okay."
James Potter strolled up to his door, physically and mentally exhausted, the mental exhaustion mainly coming from his worrying about Matilda and he was ready to relax in his home. But he couldn't do it as he walked into the apartment that he and Matilda shared, expecting to see her in the kitchen where she usually was, instead he was greeted by a plate of pumpkin gnocchi, and he could hear the water running upstairs.
"Love?" He called out, ignoring his rumbling stomach to go up the stairs, noticing the flickering of candles coming from underneath the bathroom door. With a slow creak, he opened the door to the sight of Matilda sitting on the edge of the bath. Her robe was tied tightly and she had her hair tied up, looking as if she did it without a care.
Neither uttered a word as Matilda gestured her head back at the bath, starting to get undressed and James quickly understood, doing the same. The two sunk into the warm water, James instantly smelling the Lavender oil that she had drizzled in, a calming scent. The two looked at each other for a while before Matilda shuffled down further into the water so the water came up to the bottom of her lips.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you last night." Matilda looked up from the water and up at James, slipping her legs down so they were touching his.
"I'm sorry for being a dick." Matilda let out a laugh and shook her head before letting a smile stay on her lips.
"You weren't being a dick. I know where you're coming from and I know you're scared, I am too." James smiled and nodded along with her words.
"I was being a dick, I know that. I love you. I just- with my parents and everything, it just feels like I'm losing everything bit by bit and I can't afford you to be one of those things." Matilda moved forward and grabbed James' hand that was under the water, gripping it hard.
"You won't lose me. I'm not going anyway. You'll get sick of me and I'll just keep being there. We're going to grow old together, James Potter. We'll have children, give them wanky names, have a house with creaky floorboards." James laughed and closed his eyes, almost imagining the future that they had together.
He imagined it all. How cute their children would be, how Matilda would groan about being pregnant but not even a year after they had their first, she would already want a second and then probably a third. They have a small cottage for a home with magical and muggle items inside and it would be within a wizarding village so he could teach his kids to play quidditch which would terrify Matilda.
"I could never get sick of you." James smiled leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead causing Matilda to instinctively close her eyes and let out a sigh. It had been tense for them for almost a week and now it was calming down, everything was going to be okay she thought.
It almost seemed as if an evil force had heard her thoughts of serenity as two loud knocks came from their door causing the two to frown and slowly get up. The knocking continued as they both put robes on, James getting annoyed by the constant knocks.
"Bloody hell. Give me a minute!" James yelled and shook his head, grabbing his wand in case it wasn't just an annoying neighbor or passerby.
"What?!" Matilda stood behind the door as James ripped it open, calming down only slightly as he saw Remus and Peter standing in front of the door, both wearing sober looks on their faces.
"What's happened?" Although Remus was happy to see the two had reconciled, he hated that he had to ruin it all again and make everything shit. He and Peter had been talking with Dumbledore when he told them the news that he had just received. Remus hated it.
"James. It's your parents. They passed earlier today, together." Just as Remus finished speaking, Sirius appeared behind him, obviously tired as he had run up the stairs. Matilda wanted to hug James instantly but she knew that he needed his friends. Sirius was the first to wrap his arms around James who stumbled back in shock before he began to hug his friend back tightly. Sobs escaped from his lips, prompting Remus and Peter to join.
Matilda put a hand over her mouth as tears gathered in her eyes as she watched her husband cry out. She wondered if she had doomed both of them with her bad luck because it seemed that ever since she had appeared in James' life, they could never have peace.
This chapter is lowkey depressing because I read the harry styles rolling stones article and cried so I was sad. My tiktok fyp is really wildin at the moment. I get so many harry potter pov's and I was talking to my friend about that and the ratatouille musical, maidtok and all the Matthew Morrison hate and she was like umm I have no idea what you're talking about so now I look crazy which is great but whatever I'm having a great time.
