𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 | 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨

leaning forward [lee]

In all sincerity, the day started off rather well.

Massaging the ointment into your slowly growing bump, you felt a sense of pride knowing that a small being was forming. A mini Lee mixed with a mini you. How perfect would that child be?

'Do you need help getting into your pants?' your husband joked, knowing that the tightness was a little constraining now your tummy had expanded. You shot him a look of disgruntlement as he raised his hands in submission to your glare, like acid burning through concrete.

'I'm pregnant, Lee, not disabled...Okay a little help would be nice' you admitted, letting go of the zipper and accepting defeat.

'Gotcha' he warmly chuckled, scooting over and debating whether the pants had to unfortunately come off.

'No, these are my favourite pants!' you pleaded, your frame sagging as you gave up trying, 'Fine' you uttered, strutting away like a penguin to slide them off, making your spouse laugh from his belly.

Lucky you, the morning sickness was barely there for the first trimester, meaning you could carry on with your daily food chronicles. Starting the morning with bananas and peanut butter on toast, Lee gagged as he walked past- unable to stand the stench of peanuts slathered across warm bread. Right in his face, you took a large bite, 'Mmm mm mmmm!' you swallowed, showing him just how much you enjoyed it. He scoffed, shovelling in a breakfast bar & a few raspberries.
*
Of course, just for the sheer hell of it- despite the fact it made his entire day to see you latch onto the handle of the car door- he picked the bounciest road to take you to work.

'Seriously? Did you have to take this road? It's not good for the baby!' you pouted.

'The baby? The ba-'

'It's me. I'm the baby. Take a different road, or I will have warm peanut butter for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Lee Pace' you scolded, making the 41 year old regret his life choices on routes to his pregnant wife's office.

Once on a smoother road, he grinned at you.

'Is this to your satisfaction, Mrs Pace?' he said in a connoisseur manner.

'I find it quite delightful' you mimed, both erupting in fits of laughter. Attempting to lean forward in your seat, you were put to a halt by the small, round lump at your front. Sometimes, you really did forget. Giving it a pat, you assured it that all was well and that Mr Lee was behaving.
*
He always came- no- insisted that he escort you up to your office since you found out you were going to be parents. Every single day he would go out of his way to make sure every step was taken with care, every person gave you a so-many meter distance and that you were still happy with the life you led.

It was a good job he did that day.

He clutched a briefcase in the hand farthest from you, just incase at any point you should have fallen. Leaping up two or three stairs at a time, you trudged behind sluggishly, panting after every flight.

'You know, I think this is bullying' you retorted to his elegance of jumping up the stairs, your now little-feeling legs could only go so far.

'Aw, come on! I'm not pregnant, I can still stair hop!' he playfully called back down from a flight above you. For a moment, you wavered to which he did not notice.

'Well you should be' you said, continuing to walk.

A few moments passed, and finally, out of breath and sweaty, you unlocked the door to your rather spacious, mainly brown room. Setting your bag on the desk, the bonsai tree was near enough dead, and Lee was still piping with energy. He bobbed about on the spot. Again, you swayed.

He squinted at you, eyeing you closely from that moment on. Walking to the window, he peered out- behind him, you had one hand to wipe the sweat from your forehead and one clutching the desk; it turned white from the grip.

'Are you feeling alright, love?'

'Yeah, it's probably just from the stairs' you chuckled, trying to wipe the concern from his face.

With that, he picked up his brief case and opened the door, smiling at you & leaving a kiss on your lips for the day ahead. Always, did he kiss the bump too. The floor seemed to be spiralling. Just before he left, you knew.

'Lee' you said

'Yes?'

'Catch me'

'What?'

'I said catch me'

Dropping his case, you didn't even hit the floor.
*
He paced. Lee Pace was pacing. As monitors beeped continuously, he could not help but scratch the back of his head five or six times in two minute intervals. God, how worried he was. One hand pressed to his mouth, counting over the possibilities yet one seemed to cross his mind more than the others.

'Mr Pace?' a nurse called.

'Yes?' he scuttled forward, like a moth to a flame.

'You can see her now. She's heavily medicated so probably won't wake up until a while later. I'm sorry' she consoled.

Lee's face frowned, his hands clasping on the back of his head as he took a few steps back and fell into the chair he was sat on to begin with.

Perched emptily on the bedside chair in your room, his red-sore eyes were lifeless; one hand was stroking over yours, planning what he would tell you when you woke up. However his other hand was rested on his forehead, scratching it. Doing something with it. He didn't know what. He didn't know what to do. Only then did he reach into his bag and pull out a book. It didn't help.
*
Around 7pm, when the hospital had fallen quiet once more, Lee flicked the pages of his book back and forth for about two hours. It was safe to say he was lost. The thumb of his right hand still traced small circles on yours after all this time and yet he did not find himself any nearer to explaining to his wife what could never really be explained. You shifted in bed. He jolted.

'Lee?' you groggily called out. He got up and clutched your head with his arm, trying to collect himself.

'Are you alright?' he questioned.

'Tired. What's the matter? Why are we here?'

'You uh...You collapsed. Remember?' he calmed himself by tapping his foot on the ground.

'Vaguely. Why...' you felt different. A loss came upon you, 'Lee...'

'We uh...' he looked down, squeezing your hand and ruffling his hair, 'We lost the-'

'No. No, no,' you cried, 'How? Everything was fine' you cried more.

'I know, love. I know' Lee sobbed too, crumbling into the hospital bed. You sat back against the pillows. Hearing Lee sob was breaking your heart just as much as the fact you knew you weren't going to be parents any time soon.

Resting your head on his back, the shaking of the two of you almost made the hospital bed still.

This time, you could lean forward with ease.