Stronger as One (#1, Completed)

32. Would you?

RILEY

The moment I closed the door, I felt the heavy feeling in my stomach as my head was spinning because of what I had just found out. I let a quick bark of laughter out. This was ridiculous! I was human- humans didn't have mates and definitely not two at the same time. On top of it, Aiden and Rafe! Why couldn't it be Callum, for example? Aiden was very sweet and caring, but Rafe... God, that man made me want to punch him every time he opened his mouth.

I felt the dizziness hit me so I made my way to the bed, curling up on top of the blanket while I grabbed one of my pillows for comfort and pulled it close to my chest. It smelt like home- my home. As I closed my eyes and inhaled the familiar scene, for a second I forgot about all the craziness since I met Lucien at my parents' house weeks ago.

When I opened my eyes though, all the feelings hit me again. My skin was tingling and I felt hyper-aware of my whole body. The heavy feeling in my stomach had now given way to a fluttering sensation. The pull I sensed to go back to the living room and be close to them was making me lightheaded again. I felt out of control over my own body and I hated it! I hated that I was put in a situation that I neither created myself nor wanted to be in. What happened to my right of choice? Did the Goddesses not take that into consideration?

The feelings inside me were so contradicting right now that I just felt frustrated. So frustrated that a lone tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek.

I heard a gentle knock on my door and I knew it was Aiden. Not only because Rafe would never willingly come and talk to me but also because my whole body could sense Aiden's presence on the other side of the door. My mind suddenly wondered how it would feel to taste his lips. Would it be different from any other man that I had ever been with? Would he long for my kisses more than he had with any other woman before? The latter thought had barely entered my head and I already felt jealousy stir inside me at the idea of Aiden with another woman. As if out of cruelty my mind brought up the memory of Rafe with Amy and the sounds of pleasure as they screwed each other in the room next to where Callum and I had been, and I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart.

What the hell? Why do I feel like this? I don't want mates! And yet my mind was telling me that I would feel truly loved and protected only in their arms. I cannot let anyone see me like this. Lost. Defeated. Not able to control my own life and mind. So I got up, wiped the tear away from my face and put on my most neutral expression.

"Come in."

The door opened slowly and as much as I dreaded talking to anyone about what had just happened- especially Aiden and Rafe- my heart was beating rapidly while I waited to see Aiden emerge from behind it. I wondered whether he could hear my rapid heartbeat.

"Hey," he said with a soft smile. He was extremely handsome but nothing compared to when he smiled. Luckily, Aiden was much happier in general than the thundercloud that was Rafe.

"Hey," I replied dryly and I saw his face flinch a little at what must have sounded like a rejection from my side. I was actually happy to see him, inexplicably so to me, but at the same time, I was angry over the whole thing. I knew that this wasn't his fault but I was still raging over the fact that some Goddess out there had decided my fate for me.

"Are you okay?" He took a step closer to me and I did the only thing I could to fight the urge to let him take me in his arms- I walked away and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Peachy. Never better."

I was surprised by my own sarcasm. It was like there were two personalities inside me now. Riley the Mate, who actually embraced the whole thing and wanted nothing more than to be with her mates, and old Riley- the strong, independent girl who didn't want a man by her side. Well, that was actually a lie. Old Riley didn't want to live her life alone either but what she wanted was a partner in crime, a man who would fit all of her criteria and cater for all of her needs which was practically impossible. She, therefore, knew that she would rather not be tied to any man than settle for less than what she wanted and needed. But old Riley didn't like to be pushed in the corner and to be deprived of her choice and her say either. And that Riley was the one who didn't plan on giving up her freedom easily.