Chapter Nineteen

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"Alicia, I need your help." Nick said from the doorway, glancing worridly at his sister who was glued to her bed. Popeye, who Nick had been looking after, jumped on the bed and snuggled down by her feet. "Believe me, if I had any other choice, then I wouldn't be here."

Alicia didn't speak or look up from the patch of wall she was staring at. She could hardly hear Nick, she could hardly even comprehend his presence. Her heart beat, her blood circled her body and her eyes blinked, but no one was home.

"Alicia. Jack and the usual runners have the flu, it's just me and Teddy left, and I can't take him outside the gate." Nick explained, Teddy had been angry and short tempured, everything upset him and he was far more reckless than he had been before. Clarke was like a sister to him, and he couldn't understand that she was gone. "We're almost out of medicine, and all the pain meds are gone. I can find us shit but I can't go alone, Alicia."

Nick knew it was against the rules to go alone, but that didn't bother him. He knew that he needed to get Alicia out of her bed, it was the same when their Dad had passed, Alicia just stayed in bed, as if she had been waiting for him to come and get her. That was until their Mom forced her out of bed and back to school, then Alicia found a way back to herself.

"You need to get out of bed." It had only been two weeks since Clarke left, and Alicia had hardly drunk enough in that time to stay alive, let alone eating anything. Nick hesitantly stepped forwards and pulled his sister up, she didn't say anything or look at his eyes, but she didn't resist either. Nick pulled her into a hug, trying his best to make her feel safe. "I'm sorry, but we don't have the luxury of checking out, not anymore."

He felt Alicia's arms wrap around him and pulled her closer when he felt her body shaking with tears. She clung to him as if he was the last person in the world, in that moment to her he did feel like the last person, she had lost everyone else. 

"I can't do this anymore." Alicia whispered through her heavy tears. "There was so much I needed to say to her." 

"Alicia, I've never seen you give up, and you're not going to now. You may not be able to live like this but you have to survive until you can live again." Nick whispered, holding his sister close and wishing he could take her pain away. "Come with me, Alicia?" 

"I'll come. But-" She broke into a heart breaking sob before continuing. "But, only if we c-can find Clarke. Find her b- her body and bring her home to be buried here. I can't leave her out there. Not alone." 

"Alicia, I don't think-" 

"Please, Nick." Alicia pulled away from Nick and looked straight into his eyes, almost daring him to defy her wish. 

"Okay, but we do it safely and you have to accept that we may not find her in one day." Nick reasoned to which Alicia nodded, swallowing a fresh set of pained sobs. "I'll meet you downstairs, okay?" 

Alicia nodded and Nick left the room after a worried glance, Popeye followed after him and left Alicia completely alone. She plopped down on her bed once again and resisted the urge to crawl pitifully back in and instead looked at her bedside table that held Clarke's sketchbook. One that Alicia had studied a hundred times since Clarke had left, it was the only time she sat up in bed. She slipped her slender fingers over one of the pages that held a picture of Alicia with Popeye on her lap, her throat closed and her eyes became damp. The sweet memory swirled in her head and she couldn't understand how Clarke could just be gone, not after all the time they had spent together. How could she just be gone? 

Clarke's blue eyes studies the two bodies on the couch, one of them a beautiful brunette and one a fluffy puppy that had grown too large to still be called a puppy. She pressed her pencil to the paper and shaded in the darker spots, trying to make the picture look as realistic as possible. She spent a while longer making the piece as perfect as possible before studying it against the pair. She glanced at Alicia's lips and down to the drawing, something about them didn't seem as life like as she would have liked. As she went to change the drawing she noticed Alicia watching her, a few stray tears falling down her soft cheeks. 

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