I Can't Say I Love You Yet

That Night

Darkness

It always comes back

But this time it felt different

I knew that there was not going to be the suns light to wake me up

I knew there was not going to be the pain of waking up

This was my new life

This was hell

I've finally arrived.

But then I saw it a light at the end of the hallway, I knew heaven would not let me in so this must be a choice.

to go to the light and live

or stay and die

I knew my answer so fast I did not even think about it. I started to sit down ready to give up my soul to the devil but, I saw his face.

His golden eyes with his hair sticking straight up. His smile, his warmth on mine when he held me, the way he always knows what to say. I start to tear up as I stand up and just run. I run down the hallway as fast as I can before my brain can tell me to stop and just sit down. The wind on my face reminds me of when I was standing on top of the roof. And when I reach the light I'm out of breath my legs ache and my hand is throbbing. but I reach for the light, hoping I may be able to grab it before it's too late. then I know that I've reached it when I feel the cooling light from the moon.

I've made it back

As I open my eyes I see one person sitting in the room with tears in his eyes. He was muttering something so I try to stay quiet so that way I could hear what he was saying.

"Why did you not tell me sunshine, I could have helped you, I could have stopped you, why.

I know that voice, You would think that would be my boyfriend but it was not it was Bokuto, the boy that saved me again. I slowly opened my eyes to see the boy with a puddle of tears in his hands. He picks up his head to looking straight into my eyes. It takes him a moment to realize what was happening and he ran over to me and hugged me as tight as he could.

"NEVER do that again," He said through his tears as he hugs me tighter like someone would take me away at any time. he pulled away for a second and looking into my eyes. they captured me as I looking deeper into his eyes I realized how good looking he really was. I blushed and looked towards the window. 

"The moon is beautiful tonight,"

I feel my chin pulled so I'm looking towards him and right as I was about to look back into his eyes I realized how close his face was. I look deeper into his eyes as he sits down on the bed next to me and moved his head closer to mine his hand still on my chin. I lean in too as I slowly close my eyes I don't know why I was doing this but I was.

Our faces get closer until I feel a pair of soft big lips on mine. his kisses match mine as he moves on top of me, I feel a hand go behind my head and push my forward as we deepened the kiss. I feel a tongue on my lips as he askes for entrance I was taken back for a minute. Oikawa had never asked for entrance he just pushed his tongue in without asking. After a hot second of being shocked, I gladly open my mouth as he explores every nook and cranny of my mouth.  I let out a little moan as he continues to explore my mouth. after a few minutes of us being as one, I tap on his arm letting him know I need to breathe and he notices and breaks away from our kiss with a string of saliva still connecting us.

"I'm sorry I did not know why I did that, you have a boyfriend and probably don't like me, and I just came on you I'm so sorry I'm just an id-

"it's okay I feel the same," I said in a reassuring voice.

He looked shocked for a second but then lowered himself again and hugged me. I felt him wrap his warm strong arms around me. I pull him down as he falls down beside me still having his arms around me. He turns to look at me as I bury my face into his shirt.

"How am I supposed to tell Oikawa, he is going to be so mad he may kill me," I said having a tear in my eye thinking about what he may do

"I won't let him, he missed his chance your mine now and I will be there when you say that you want to end things," as he said that I looked up at him and noticed his smile, his bright amazing smile.

I blush a little and bury my face again in his shirt. I feel him rub my back as I felt something go into my hair too. He gently ran his fingers through my hair as I slowly fall asleep.

"I love you, but I'm scared to love again," I said as I slowly drift off into the sleep world

"Don't worry I won't let anyone hurt you again, not even me." I started to panic before I went to sleep did he not love me as much I loved him he did not say it back?

"I love you more than anything even if we have only met 4 months ago"

FOUR MONTHS I ONLY MEET HIM THREE MONTHS AGO. had I been asleep for 1 month!

But with the reassuring back rubbing and the hair strokes, I began to get myself back together and started to calm down again.

I can't believe I had fallen in love again I just hope this time is better

that was the last thought I had before I went to sleep for the night.