STAY By My Side

Chapter 18: Scattered Life

Annyeonghaseyo guys! How are my lovely readers doing? I've been bogged down by some work this week so I wrote this in a hurry. This might be like a filler chapter I guess. Please ignore my mistakes and keep supporting my story.

Han's POV

Nights creeping in silently,
Leaving behind sorrow.
Making me sway aimlessly,
Scared looking at my own shadow.

Overtaking darkness, shone a light!
Pouring back courage.
Too much, too bright!
But never enough, making me forage.

Smile that warm,
Stomach turns upside down.
Mind ringing bells of alarm,
Making me mirror a frown.

The laugh for others, not me!
Twisting my guts with jealousy.
Making my insides flow,
Like a cascade (of tears).

Touch of love, making me lively!
Bringing out tears of ecstasy.
People ask, "Why do you glow?"
I say, "Because this will never fade."

I completed singing these newly penned down lyrics of mine in a tune that matched pretty well. "Hyung, wasn't that great? I mean, I matched the tune very well. Everything fit perfectly in my head, but I was scared something might be off when I present it in front of you." I looked at him and he laughed. "Breathe Hannie. Calm down. Now, I really like what you did with the tune there. It clearly expresses your intent behind these lyrics. But do you know why?" he asked confusing me. "What do you mean why? I just tried making them all fit in," I gave him a puzzled expression. "Ani. You didn't even try that hard Han. It came out that way because you feel this. Think back... did you cry while writing these lyrics? Did you smile like an idiot in the middle? Did you jump out in ecstasy when you caught the perfect tune? Lastly, weren't you nervous to show this off?" he asked shocking the wits out of me. "Hyung... How...did you?" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. He just shrugged off my question and said, "focus on who you were thinking of when writing this, not how to make it good. These are your feels, show them off when you are ready and proud about them."

I walked towards my room, thinking back to what Chan hyung said. He's an amazing analyzer honestly,  he understands others better than they themselves can. But what he said made me feel something weird. As if I was having an internal fight whether I should deny it or accept it.

Changbin's POV

"Hyung, will you go out with me?" Lix asked me. What? Is he...asking me out on a date? No...it can't be. Is he serious? "Hyung?" he snapped his fingers bringing me out of my thoughts. "Oh...right," I said startled. "So do you wanna go out or not?" He asked while picking an outfit for himself. "Yeah sure...just you and me right?...alone?" I asked him curiously. "Yeah, I feel like we have a lot of catching up to do after everything that happened," he said with a half-hearted smile.

"Oh, what do you think I should wear? This or this?" he asked showing his choice of outfits. "I like the blue one," I said. "But...I like the red one better," he said pouting. He was so cute I just couldn't resist. I ruffled his hair and said, "then you should have gone with it, sunshine." He let out a cute giggle. "I'll go get changed," he said before leaving. "Hey!" I called him. "Hmm?" He looked back at me innocently. "Wrong way," I said giggling. "Right," he said embarrassed. Ah....my cute pabo. He's such a baby. How can someone not like him? I snapped out of my thoughts upon reminding myself to go get dressed.

Felix's POV

I love it when he ruffles my hair. I wish he would do it more often. I wish he could understand me. Either he's an idiot or I'm not being obvious enough. I was deep into my thoughts. The more I think about this, my happiness turns into sadness and before I could even realise, tears started dripping down my face. I quickly wiped them away and washed my face before heading to Binnie hyung's room.

"Took you you long enough," Binnie Hyung said looking up from his phone. He suddenly burst out laughing. "Hyung, what's wrong? Do I have something on my face?" I asked confused. What was so amusing? He stood behind me, held both my shoulders and walked me towards the mirror. "Ah...jinja!" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice putting the shirt on in reverse. I'm an idiot. I took off my shirt to put it on properly. I turned the other way to see Changbin hyung's face an inch away from mine. I could feel his face moving closer to mine. I don't know what I was thinking. I closed my eyes slowly and pushed my lips out into a small pout. My heart was beating out of my chest. I was eagerly waiting for his lips to touch mine. He ruffled my hair and said, "what were you expecting...kiddo?" Which honestly pissed me off. "Let's go," he said breaking the awkward silence.

I started walking out the dorm without saying a word. "Wait...?" Binnie Hyung said looking at me. "You didn't tell me where you wanted to go in the first place." He said. "Oh right. I miss my fishies, so I wanted to go to the aquarium with you," I said hoping he would still want to come. "You're such a kid," he said smiling. "Come on! Let's go," he said rushing me.

Chan's POV

From the last half an hour, I could think of nothing but his lips. I sat down to work on our album which is finally taking some shape but he wouldn't let me. "What are you doing to me, Minho-yah?" I burst out. "What did I do, hyung?" a voice startled me to death. I was literally clutching onto my dear heart like it's gonna pop out any second. He came in and sat down on the bed. "Min...Minho. What are you doing here?" I was confused to say the least. He was supposed to be at his home. "Aah... I just got back and wanted to give you something," he ruffled through his bag searching for something.

He searched for a while but he couldn't find what he was looking for. "Is it important?" I asked and received a scream in return. "OF COURSE! What do you mean 'is it important?' Would I be giving it to you if it's not important?" "Okay. You will find it, calm down." I said smiling. He's so cute when he's worried. "Do you think we should talk..? Abo...about the kiss, I mean." I said and he immediately snapped his head up to meet my eyes.

We were both sitting there awkwardly for a minute and I started cursing myself for bringing it up now. I was just looking at him expectantly. But nothing came out of his mouth for 5 minutes. When I was going to give up he said, "Here. Found it," he handed me a letter. I flipped it to see that it's the same letter my fan sends me. That crazy fan of mine who makes me go crazy with those crazy good letters. Without realizing, a smile formed on my lips.

Minho got up to go making me look at him. "Minho... I.." he cut me off saying, "Hyung. You should forget about it. It was nothing but an accident." His words hurt me a bit, "Minho... but... we should at least..." he cut me off again "don't bring it up hyung, it's embarrassing." He ran out of the room worrying me, but I knew that it wasn't the right time to have a conversation. We both need to sort it out at our own pace. However, I couldn't help but think back to what he said. His 'forget about it' sounded more than just about the kiss and I really pray to the almighty it's not what I think it is. I cannot afford to lose him because of this one small thing.

Oh God! I don't know where this story is headed anymore. I'm just going with the flow so bear with me guys. Please comment your thoughts and suggestions. See you later.