STAY By My Side

Chapter 23: Gloomy Christmas

Hello dear readers! How are you all? Hope you had an amazing Christmas and wishing for you to have a great 2021 ahead! Welcome it with open arms ❤️

Here's a Christmas special chapter and maybe a bit of a lengthy one for you all since you've been such amazing readers. Think of it as a small Christmas present 🎁. Let's open this gift right away.

Chan's POV

In my excitement of having found the letter, I practically ran to my room. Unable to waste any more time not reading the letter. In my hurry, I shut the room door without removing my hand from the doorframe. I screamed in pain, "Aaah... Ouch!!" I pulled my hand towards me. After a while of jumping around in pain, I sat down and opened the letter. I'm falling in love with these greeting letters. I smiled and started reading it out.

Hi Channie,

I hope you are doing well. It's been a while since I wrote you a letter. Sorry, I was caught up in something. Did you wait for the letter?

Yes, I did. I answered like the fan could hear me talk. I laughed at my own stupidity and continued reading.

Aah what am I even asking, you don't even have time to eat let alone worry about me or my letter. Haha. I just saw the Vlive Changbin did where he mentioned you guys preparing for a comeback soon and I really can't wait. I know you guys will be amazing as always. I really wish I could say this after I watch the comeback but I won't be able to.

I was shocked on reading this. "What do you mean you can't?" I accidentally voiced my thoughts out loud.

Yeah, I won't be able to because you won't be getting any letters from me anymore. I can't send them to you anymore. It hurts me to say this but I have no choice.

No choice? What do you mean no choice? Is sending one stupid letter that hard? Or did you also move on from me? I couldn't hold myself back anymore. However I kept reading in hopes of it being some twisted prank.

I feel like I'm getting too attached to you while sending these letters. I'm scared, hyung. I'm scared I won't be able to come out of this web of lies. I'm scared of hurting you. I'm scared of leaving scars in your life. I'm scared I will fall for you. I'm scared I'll fall for you so deep that there's no coming back. I'm just really scared. I love you and I hate that. I don't wanna be living like this anymore. Neither should you be needing my letter to cheer you up. You have 6 amazing little brothers who are willing to go to any lengths for you and your happiness. You don't need me Chan. You won't anymore.

I didn't realize that I was crying till I saw a drop of my tear fall on the letter, smearing some words. I wiped my tears and gathered some courage to complete reading this last letter.

If you are crying right now, please don't. My heart would hurt to see you in this state. More so, if it's because of me and my stupidity. I really hope you find your happiness soon. Please never forgive me for this. Goodbye Channie! Nomu Saranghae ❤️❤️

Your forever well wisher....

"You are not stupid. You pulled me out of darkness and taught me how to smile again. Not just a fake one but a full, hearty smile. I'm really thankful for that. Don't apologize. I forgive you" I said before bursting into tears.

Minho's POV

"I forgive you," I heard Chan hyung say with shaky voice before hearing him cry. It hurt my heart seeing him like that. I couldn't hold back so I pushed the door open and went in. When I saw him crying his heart out while kneeling on the floor, I immediately dropped to my knees and embraced him. I knew nothing I'd say would make him hurt less. How can I console him when I'm the one who caused him this pain? "Why does everyone abandon me? Am I that unworthy of love?" he snapped me out of my thoughts and his words slapped me hard. "No hyung. No one can ever abandon you. Those kinds of people don't deserve you. We don't deserve you, hyung. You did nothing wrong. You have all of us and Stays with you. We all love you so much. You should always remember this," I tried so hard to control my own tears threatening to spill out.