Let Me Figure It Out

I'm fine (Prologue)

Sweat drips down my face. I sit up in my bed and rest my hands on the back of my neck. I try to take up as little space as possible. I rock myself back and forth in a, somewhat, comforting way. I push my blankets away because it's too hot to breathe. The air in the room is warm and filled with fear. I wish there was a way out. There's no way out. I'm trapped, on my bed, in my room, in my house, somewhere in this giant world. 

I take my hands away from my neck and look up. I stare at the blank walls as tears start to fall. I hope for a distraction of any kind. Something. Anything to take my mind away from itself. My phone buzzes and I ignore it, not willing to let anyone know what's going on. 

Another buzz. 

Then another. 

And another.

I stop keeping count. 

Eventually I receive a call. It's Dave. I'll call him back later. I don't have the mindset to talk. 

A car passes on the road outside. I bring my attention to it. A red car. A toyota camry. 

Another buzz. It's Dave answer later.

Text after text. 

He's worried. 

I reply.

'What?' 

'Where are you?'

'My house? I never leave?'

'He's worried about you.'

'I know'

'Talk to him.'

I turn my phone off. I can't talk to him. I could barely talk to Dave. What makes him think I could talk to him.

I know he's worried. 

There's no reason.

I'm fine.