Let Me Figure It Out

VI

~~Corpse~~

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck fuck

Fuck. 

No. God damnit!

Shit. 

Okay. Calm down. You are still in public. 

Fuck. 

Okay, so he's really nice and attractive and has the best goddamn smile I've ever seen. So what? Doesn't mean you like him. He could always be objectively attractive to you. I mean you've obviously seen objectively attractive men? Right? You're attracted to girls. Always have been.

What the fuck?

Shit. Obviously not. If he was only objectively attractive to me I wouldn't be thinking like this would I? 

Okay. It's okay. I'll get over it. I can do that. 

"Hey, uh Adam?"

"Uh, yeah?" I ask, spacing back in. 

"The burgers are here," He smiles again. Yup. Fuck. 

I smile back at him, "Oh, sorry I spaced out."

"It's fine I do that all the time. Anyway you have to try the burger, I can almost guarantee it will be the best thing you've ever eaten." He is really passionate about these burgers. It's kinda cute. 

"Okay." I pick up my burger and he does the same. I do a cheers motion and take a bite. It is a pretty good burger. I mean it's definitely not the best thing I've ever eaten, but its up there. "You were right, this is pretty good!" I say. 

"I know right!" He says through a mouth full of food. 

Okay look motherfucker you have dealt with needy, gold digging, cat girls; you can deal with a crush. It may be hard, but fuck it, so what? You just got to get over it man. Of all guys I could possibly shock myself with of course it had to be the one who's a part of my newest friend group. What'll they think if something actually happens between us? 

Of fucking course

~~Hey guys so I know these chapters are super short but I really want to get stuff out to y'all I'll try to keep you updated on my mental health as much as I can!! I really appreciate all the love. Les amo mis patitos!!! Les veo pronto!!~~