Circling Stars

🌟 Chapter 38 🌟

    "Jasper?" The fire was warming me nicely and I didn't want to leave it but I'd have to. Mrs. Marx was probably going to check on us soon and if I wasn't in the house she'd get worried.

    "Yes."

    "I want to start self dense training again. I know I won't be amazing at it but I could be a lot better than I am now. I'm young and healthy. I should at least be able to get the basics down if nothing else. And I wanted to say I'm sorry."

    "I will help you learn to defend yourself but nothing that happened was your fault." Anger bristled in me at that phrase. I was getting pretty sick of hearing of it because as far as I was concerned it wasn't true. Jasper misinterpreted my feelings because his next words were, "Even the best trained soldiers sometimes freeze in their first battle. I saw it plenty of times."

    "That's not what I mean. I'm sorry I didn't take those first lessons seriously."

    Jasper used a stick to poke the fire and the flames roared a bit higher. "You do not have to apologize for that. Physical combat is not an area you are normally invested in."

    I chewed my lip. That was true but when he'd offered I said yes. And then wasted his and Nessie's time by half-assing my way through those lessons and unsurprisingly absorbed none of it.

    "Let me take away your negative feelings just for a awhile," he offered.

    "Okay." It was like flipping a switch. The anger, depression and guilt lifted until all I was left with was the love and contentment his presence often brought.

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    Most of the next week and a half was spent training with Jasper. He had me do a hell of a lot of push-ups and sit-ups until I wanted to puke. We went for runs, did pull-ups on tree branches, and stretches until my body wanted to crumple to the floor and never move again. After five days I began to feel better and it wasn't so hard, but neither was it easy.

    Once the pills stopped knocking her out, Shirley joined us. Most of the exercises would be too painful or even impossible while she was healing. She curled some light weights with her uninjured arm and came jogging with us as long as we didn't go too fast. The temperatures in the day still didn't rise above 35 most of the time, and meteorologists saw no end in sight or could provide an explanation for this unseasonably cold June. Late June. The Forth of July this Saturday was promising to be even colder.

    As we made our way up and down the long trails of Thaddeus Park, Jasper insisted on carrying a first aid kit and Shirley's pain killers in his backpack. Jasper had once gone to medical school and become a doctor alongside Edward, who was a doctor many times over already. It was something they did to honor Carlisle. Carlisle kept Jasper appraised of all the latest in medical advancement since Jasper rarely pursued that career track afterwards. It was there he discovered his love of philosophy and psychology. It gave Jasper and Shirley a lot to talk about during our runs. To be honest I tuned most of it out as very little was interesting to me. Plus I couldn't follow much of what they talked about anyway. Shirley had been hitting those college books of hers harder than I thought.

    What I did most of the time was watch Jasper. The days were cold but also clear and sunny. True the Swans could go out in daylight whenever they wanted as long as they were alone. But thanks to Alice's recent breakthrough that changed. I could tell Jasper loved being out in sunshine among us regular humans. There was more excitement in his actions and walk. In fact all the Swans were enjoying it. Carlisle and Esme would go for strolls around uptown just for fun. Emmet and Edward played basketball one on one while Rosalie and Bella planned the baby shower on the sidelines. Alice and Sven were often down at the playground with Anna. Sarah David had been told of the makeup success and ordered huge amounts from Alice.

    I was so distracted watching Jasper that I didn't notice Shirley was talking to me. She nudged me with her uninjured side.

    "Sorry. What?"

    "Jasper and I were just talking about the concepts people come up with to explain their own existences, and I told him how you don't believe in destiny or fate."

    "That's not totally true," I defended. "I just don't see how some people think that if they're meant to do something the circumstances just fall into place without any work on their part. If you're meant to do something it makes more sense to me that it's something you been working for. Such as someone who discovered they were good at art, worked at getting better and then having it pay off later in life. You can't just magically become good at something because you were meant too. Even if there's some natural talent it takes work to perfect it. Then there's the everything happens for a reason mentality that people only seem to apply to good things; which makes no sense to me either." We went back and forth on the topic for awhile until Shirley stopped us.

    "Can we take a break?" Shirley huffed.

    "Of course." Jasper led us to the side of the trail where a bench was. We'd come to a stop in the large open courtyard. A street vendor rolled up selling huge warm pretzels. Shirley wanted one and Jasper and I went to get it for her. There was already a line when we got there so we had to wait.

    "If you do not believe in the popular definition of destiny how would you define it?" Jasper asked as we moved up in the line.

    "Give me a circumstance you would attribute to destiny."

    "Our relationship," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

    "Are you saying that you really believe in destiny?" He winked at me instead of answering. I glared at him which only made his grin bigger. "Do you know what a binary star system is?"

    "Can't say that I do, darlin'."

    "It's a phenomenon that can take various forms. One of the least common consists of two stars. These stars orbit each other because nothing but the others' gravitational pull is near enough to have an effect on them. Circling stars until the end."

    We purchased a pretzel for myself and Shirley. Shirley was on the phone so we took our time walking back.

    "That strikes me as a very romantic notion," he took my hand and kissed my temple, "I am honored to be your other star."

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    "Can you do it?" Mom's voice was clipped. My refusal to come home deeply frustrated her. If they had moved their disapproving stance even a little toward acceptance, I would have reconsidered. But I'd seen no evidence that was the case. If I went back now I had the feeling I'd be leaving again in a week or less. Currently my parents were very busy arranging for the grand reopening of the workshop/warehouse.

    It was going to happen on the Fourth of July at 2100 hours, a gala exhibit featuring pieces commissioned to the senior wood workers, with a very late dinner to follow accompanied by a firework show. The preparations were keeping them so busy they couldn't always watch Sean. They wanted me to pick him up and stay with him for a few days. The penthouse of the best hotel in town had been rented for us from the first to the fifth.

    My phone beeped and I pulled it away from my ear to check the id. It was from an unknown number so I just ignored it. I looked in the mirror and after an adjustment got the angle I wanted. My back was the only part of me large enough for the all the constellations, and I didn't regret putting them there, but if I wanted to see them I had to get creative. Hence why I standing in Shirley's bathroom my back to the large mirror and another small one in hand. My tattoos had healed completely and nicely. I was vaguely planning another and wondering where I could put it. I had an idea for a family tree for both Jasper and I. My back wasn't an option so where else would be a big enough spot, my side, my thigh?

    "Yes, I'll pick him up at ten."

    "Good." She hesitated. "I want to have a talk with you then. Meet at the center of Thaddeus Park?"

    "Why can't we do it now?"

    "I'd just like to do it in person."

    "Okay, I'll see you in three days."