Before We Leave

Chapter Nine

 "The last stop in today's tour is my room" Devi declared as we were returning from Mrs.Bakshi's room.

"Well I am most excited for that" I said in a sarcastic tone, although I wasn't lying.

Her room was just right to mine. We entered and I was surprised. It wasn't what I was expecting. I had a picture of Devi's room in my mind, very decorated and with lots of her things but in reality it was very similar to Mrs.Bakshi's room. It was very minimal, only the things the hospital provided. The bed on one side, the cloth cabinet and a chair and no windows on the side of the barren field. But the most interesting part was her bedside table. It had notebooks, a lot of them, stacked on one corner and a stack of envelopes by the side of the notebooks and various kinds of pens and other small stationary items scattered across the rest of the table. Some novels lied on the floor beside it.

"Well this is it" she placed the wheelchair close to the bed and sat on the bed.

I noticed a photograph among the scattered pens on the table. It was old and damaged. A young man with a little girl in his arms and a woman in the side, it was taken in a restaurant, all of them smiling.

"My mom and my dad" Devi noticed me looking and picked up the photograph from the table.

"How old were you?" I asked.

"I was 6 at that time. It was my birthday and they used to take me to this restaurant. We were never really rich, but on my birthday they used to order the most expensive meals. This was 3 months before I was diagnosed. 3 months before my family started to fall apart"

Devi was blankly staring at the photograph.

"After I was diagnosed, dad started to drink. It was less at the beginning but as the days passed and my conditions worsened, he was drinking more. In the beginning my gap period wasn't six months, it was about a month. Mom tried to stop him, but didn't listened and eventually he started blaming my mom for my condition"

She stopped. Her eyes looked teary but I was happy; happy that she was finally opening up. I wanted to know her, all about her and she was finally taking a step.

"Who do you live now with?" I asked, trying to distract her from past memories and into present information.

She ignored my question and got down from the bed. She took out a book from the heap of books on the floor and handed it to me. "Song of Solomon" by Toni Morrison.

"This was my mother's favorite novel and later became my favorite. I know you are not into novels but will you read this?" she requested and I wondered why.

"I will" I took the book, "but under one condition"

She looked at me.

"I want to know you, everything about you, not parts of it. I want to know why this novel is your favorite and what is your favorite movie, I want to know about your dad and mom and everyone you love" I said.

She sighed and a smile appeared on her face and then it finally disappeared.

"You would hate me if you knew my past; even I hate myself for it" she said, her eyes closed.

"You don't know that" I protested.

"I know that" she replied.

I remained silent. I wanted to know her but also I didn't want to push her away.

"What's up with all these notebooks and these stylish pens" I asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"They are for writing" she replied, explaining the mechanics but not the reason. She is a child sometimes.

"I meant what are you always scribbling?" I asked again.

"Whatever I think, I write them into letters but I don't send them to anyone. I just write and keep it safely" she replied.

"And who do you write to?"

"You have to wait for that" she said, smiling.

And even though I wanted to know, I decided not to force her anymore.

The nurse came after a few minutes to take me to my room and to have my lunch.

"I will meet you in the evening after my checkup, until then take rest, you must be tired from today's long and hectic tour" Devi said.

I nodded and before leaving I took the book she gave and saw her precious smile across her face.

After lunch, I decided to read the novel but mom came to visit. She brought me fresh clothes but she couldn't stay long because she had some important work.

Once mom was gone, I turned on the bedside lamp and switched off all the other lights. I wasn't even through the first chapter, when I felt my painkillers kicking in and making me sleepy and before I knew it I was asleep.

I woke up from some noise of a crowd. I checked the time; it was 7 in the evening. When my senses returned to normal from the sleep, I realized that the noise was coming from the right side of my room. People were running, I could hear the voice of nurses and medical terms being announced by the professionals. My instinct kicked in, the room on my right was Devi's. I couldn't think anymore,. Questions invaded my mind.

"Is she okay? She had an appointment with the doctor? She said she will visit me in the evening, why didn't she come?"

The wheelchair was close. I pulled it and placed it right next to the bed. I tried to move myself from the bed and sit in the wheelchair but my legs didn't let me. The commotion outside was decreasing, the voices reducing.

I gave my all, I grunted and I cried but I finally placed myself in the wheelchair safely. I rotated the wheels with my hands as fast as I could and got out of my room. The commotion had stopped by then. No nurse or compounders or even doctors were there.

"She needs surgery, prepare the OR" I heard a doctor shouting from somewhere.

The room on my right had its door open, I moved myself to the door and my mind went blank. The blanket was on the floor, the bed was empty and Devi was not in there