Before We Leave

Chapter Ten

I stayed in the corridor, broken and confused. I didn't know what to do; the world around me was in chaos. I was never a believer of God but in that moment I prayed for her. I sat there on my wheelchair and I cried and I prayed for her.

I didn't remember how long I was in the corridor when a nurse found me there crying.

"What happened? Why are you here? Do you need a doctor?" she said.

I sniffled and hiccupped and said,

"Where is the patient of this room?" I pointed towards Devi's room.

"Oh Devi, she must have ran to the where the operation room" the nurse replied.

"Ran to operation?" I was confused.

"Oh no she is not in danger" the nurse smiled.

"I don't understand" I said the truth.

"Come" the nurse said and grabbed my wheelchair.

We were moving across the corridor, passing rooms after rooms, I was relieved to hear she was not in danger but I still couldn't calm myself. We finally stopped in front of the operation room corridor.

Devi was sitting on the chair in front of the operation theatre, her head against the wall, she was facing upwards and I could see tears streaming from her eyes. I gestured the nurse to leave me here and she did the same. I pushed my wheelchair up to her; she noticed me and wiped off the tears from her eyes.

"Mrs.Bakshi suddenly collapsed in her room and she has been taken into surgery" she said, her voice cracking with each word.

I placed my wheelchair right next to her.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked.

"Nothing. I was in my room, just returning from my evening checkup and was about to go to your room after changing when I heard the news. I ran into her room but she was already been taken to surgery" she said.

I could hear the pain in her voice, she was upset and she was scared. The woman who said she was as healthy as a swan some hours ago is being taken to surgery, Life is ironical.

"She will be all right, I know it" I said to assure her.

She looked at me then looked away.

"She have to tell us more stories, she have to sing for us some more songs and she said herself she is as healthy as a swan" I said the last words by flapping my hands to mimic the wings.

She chuckled and I smiled back but the smile on her face vanished the next moment. She was worried about Mrs.Bakshi and my jokes won't distract her, she needed a support.

"You know why Mrs.Bakshi is so close to my heart?" she asked suddenly.

"Because she tells you the stories about her past and she sings really well?" I replied.

"Yes that, but" she smiled, "She reminds me of my mom, she used to sing as well and I couldn't save my mom, I want to save Mrs. Bakshi"

Her eyes were teary once again. I didn't know what to say.

"After mom died, my dad abandoned me. I used to live with my uncle. He was always busy with his business so whenever I was visited to the hospital, he couldn't come. One day Mrs.Bakshi heard about me and came to visit me and she has been taking care of me ever since, and now I take care of her too. If she dies, I will be all alone again"

I wanted to hold her hands and assure her that nothing bad will happen and even if it does she has me but I couldn't. The surgery was ongoing; Devi was looking towards the door. Winter was over and there was a hint of spring heat in the air, there was no one there except us and the surgery team behind the door. The air around felt vulnerable, Devi's eyes felt teary and I was feeling helpless.

"I hate my past and I am afraid you will hate me too if I told you about it" she said out of nowhere

"I won't, ever" I blurted out.

"You are saying because you don't know anything" she said, her eyes still on the closed door of the OR.

"I won't, I want to know you, all about you and I have told you so. You barge into my room in the middle of the night, you tag along during my physio, you eat my yoghurt, hell I don't like fiction and I am still reading the book you gave because I want to. I want to and nothing will make me hate you" I said, my voice calm but firm.

She looked towards me, smiled and then inhaled sharply.

"It was 5 days after my 12th birthday. Dad came home drunk and abused my mother. I hid in the closet but that day my mom didn't come to find me. I slept in the closet and then woke up the next day from a noise. Noise of people and police officers and my dad crying. My mother slashed her throat, she committed suicide. The suicide later said she couldn't take the abuse of my dad anymore. My dad was put behind bars, where he died after his liver failed a year later" she said, looking at the ground below.

Tear drops flowed from her cheeks and fell into the floor, she was crying. And I was barely controlling myself.

"If I didn't have this fucking disease, my dad wouldn't have been a drunkard and my mom would have been alive and we would have been a happy family. I ruined everything. She left and I have to live in this guilt forever" she said, holding her face in her hands, trying to stop crying.

I let her cry; I wanted her to let it out. When she finally sniffled and looked up, I said

"I am not religious and neither is my mom but she always say that when our loved ones die, they become our shadow, always behind our back. And I am sure your mom is behind you, as your shadow and she would be in pain to see you like this. And me and you we both know she suffered enough. She never blamed you and you shouldn't either"

She nodded her head. I don't know what she understood but she looked at me

"Do you hate me?" she asked

"Nothing in the world can make me hate you" I said and she smiled a little and she nodded her head again.

Just then the door opened and the doctor came outside. Devi ran towards him and I followed with my wheelchair.

"She is out of danger; she will be fine within a few days" the doctor informed us.

We heaved a sigh of relief.

"Can we see her?" Devi asked.

"She needs some rest right now. You can meet her tomorrow" the doctor said and took a leave.

We went back and sat on the same place, Devi on the chair and me by her side on the wheelchair.

"Thank you for coming and listening and not hating me" she said.

And before I could say anything, she held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder.