Blinded by the Dark | General Hux

IX

"General, you're staring." 

Hux came to at Amelia's words from across the board room where she stood with her arms folded, giving him an expectant look as to why. This interrupted the discussion and the whole room looked at him as his skin flushed a little in embarrassment, Ren giving him a glare that was less than impressed. 

"Sorry," he said, sitting up straighter and awkwardly shuffling his papers, turning a pen in his hand while mentally scolding himself. Wake up! "I was just...thinking. I agree with whatever the Admiral just said."

"Really?" she asked incredulously, some of the officers turning to him equally as baffled as he continued to fidget with his pen. 

"That we should scale down the trooper programme in favour of better catering services?" Ren scoffed and he stared back at him dumbfounded. 

"It was only a suggestion from reviewing the budget-"

Hux cut of the Admiral. "No, sorry, that is actually the stupidest thing I have ever heard and I've dealt with some morons...I admit I wasn't paying attention. I apologise." 

"Too busy eyeing up my apprentice."

"Shut up," he spat back, glaring at him as Amelia rolled her eyes and another officer got them back on track. 

"On the subject of the budget, I've had some ideas..."

The General tried his hardest to pay attention and look busy by pretending to read through a document but was too preoccupied with the wave of heat now stinging his skin in shame at being caught staring. Really, how completely childish. He didn't even realise he had been he was so absorbed in his own thoughts. This whole 'quite liking Amelia but not having the balls to actually admit it to himself' was so tiring. 

He wanted nothing more than to go back to a time when he didn't hang onto her every word and smile a little when she looked at him. It was a constant other thing to cope with and he had never even had a proper crush before, what the hell did he know about any of that? 

Anyone he had ever been with - well, he hadn't even 'been with them - had been superficial on both sides and based entirely on desire, not careful consideration and feelings. He shivered at the word. 

He stayed behind after the meeting to go over some things and when everyone had left immediately slammed his head on the table in embarrassment and defeat, groaning a little at his complete absurdity and lack of control. Why couldn't he just be normal in the face of this and not stare at her like a weirdo, or even better, ignore the whole thing! It was never going to lead anywhere, why was he kidding himself?

The only attention of hers he had brought himself was complete humiliation. 

"Ugh!" He hit his head once more then ran a hand through his hair, holding the back of his neck as he looked up through the misplaced strands, staring into space, ashamed of himself. 

"General?"

He jumped at his name being called and braced himself as he timidly looked over at Amelia who had returned, giving him a polite smile. "Amelia, hi...Hello, even...excuse me." 

"Master Ren wanted a copy of the agenda for the next meeting," she said, cautiously moving closer to him in his seemingly distressed form, her long eyelashes gently brushing her cheeks when she looked down, pressing her perfectly red lips together. He nodded quickly, shaking himself from his thoughts and haphazardly flicking through his papers.

"Yes, of course...Let me just um...find it." 

"...Are you alright?" She sat on the table beside him, pushing a strand of her hair back. "You look a bit...dishevelled."