Blinded by the Dark | General Hux

XI

Amelia sat on her bed, warmed by a shower and now draped with a blanket that caught the few stray droplets falling from her hair. It was quiet save from her master dropping her weapon on the desk that he'd previously relieved her of and the main lights being shut off, leaving only a few lamps to light the room with an orange hue.

"Okay..." he said, sitting beside her and handing over a warm mug of tea, his sleeves half-covering his hands to protect him from the heat, a simple mannerism that made him just that little bit more innocently human and young. She nodded in thanks. "Tell me everything. What did he tell you?"

She went through the details of the encounter with Snoke as best she could, how he had asked about allegiance to the Force and her old planet, about how he had sent Hux away before telling her of his decision to possibly replace Ren with her. She still felt terrible thinking of how she had treated the General.

"He didn't want Hux to know...in case it made my authority lesser...So he hasn't given up on me just yet." he muttered and she nodded. 

"Yeah...I guess so. But I don't want that much power, I don't think I'd be ready to take that place. I've never been properly trained for it, and anyway, I like how it is now to just train and learn, to try and become better...and I especially don't want to betray you. After everything you've done for me, how could I? You're the reason I'm even here. You've taught me everything I know and I'd be nothing without your guidance."

"I did well choosing you." He gave her a grateful smile. "You're loyal, I'm sure the same can't be said for some other apprentices. Thank you." 

"It's all I've ever known." 

"I suppose so...Why don't you want that power? Isn't that why you wanted to train?" 

"No, you wanted me to train but I don't see what it would bring me. Not happiness, that's for sure, but I guess that goes against the whole mentality of the Sith and whatever." 

"What would make you happy? If not power?" 

"I don't know," she admitted., "I wouldn't know what true happiness is, I've never had any experience with life. You know me...I've never felt true care, friendship, apart from you of course, or love. It's not what I was trained to do. And I suppose I've had inklings of it, flashes of what could be...But if I joined Snoke..." She trailed off and he waited for her to continue. "It doesn't matter..."

"I won't tell him. I won't say a thing if you don't want me to. You are my apprentice and I have to protect you...even if that means going against him." 

She sighed, looking up at him and finding a truthfulness in his eyes, a loyalty and she nodded. He did owe her one for not betraying him previously, that was something. 

"If I joined him, would I get that chance? Would I ever be happy? I suppose it would all be in the form of death and killing and hurting people, and when I think about it, really sit down and think about it, I don't want to hurt people for my own gain. I'm conditioned to hate anyone who opposes the Order but I don't...not all of them. Is that wrong?" 

"To some maybe, but I understand. You're dealing with a lot and your conflict is human. Not to say I agree, but I get it." 

"You don't think it's wrong sometimes?" 

"No...Yes...What I mean is there are some who need to understand good from bad and who's there to help them. That's all we want to do: bring order to the galaxy."

"But then my planet, my home, what about them? Did they deserve that or was it just target practise?" 

"I admit that was a little questionable but that's just life, Amelia. There's nothing you or I can do about it."