Blinded by the Dark | General Hux

XXV

Everything was still as they talked quietly, Amelia's arm under her pillow to prop her up, her other held in his between them; Armitage watched how her eyes followed his and her eyelashes brushed her cheeks when she looked down to laugh or blush. It was like they were the only people in the galaxy and nothing and no one could ever touch them or pull them apart, just for that moment. 

They were fascinated by each other and took this first time to be the perfect opportunity to memorise every detail and freckle and feature in one another. 

"So...what does this make us?" she asked, trying to approach the question she needed to know the answer to as nicely as possible, pulling the covers up over her chest then diverting her gaze. "Or...I mean, I don't know...maybe it's just a one time thing..." 

"Well, I don't want it to be...I'd like it to be more, to be something...if that's what you want." 

"Yes, I would," she whispered with a smile. "Very much." 

"Even though I'm what? Ten years older than you? And a grumpy, emotionally useless ten years older at that." 

"You're not emotionally useless. You talk to me," she said, sitting up and leaning over him, brushing his hair back and he shivered at the contact. "Sorry...I won't do that." 

He caught her hand gently when she went to pull it away. "No, it's okay. I'm just not used to it. See what I mean now?" 

"Just because you've never been shown affection and you don't know how to process it doesn't make you grumpy or useless, you're learning, like I am. It's not like I have any experience either...That's okay though, right?" 

"I think so..." He leant into her touch, soft against his skin. Her hand in his hair was warm and comforting, made him feel like he was safe for once, able to be content. "It's nice..." 

"Mmm..." She smiled then lay down again, moving closer to him and testing the waters by hesitantly resting her head on his chest, her arm around him. He was unsure again and rested his hand in her hair. 

"So, you'd like us to be something." 

"Yes...but if we are then it's a risk. If someone found out it'd be dangerous, let alone my master or the Supreme Leader." 

"I know," he sighed, pulling her just a little closer. 

"I'm not meant to have these kind of feelings or relationships, it's a part of being a Sith and supposedly against my nature...Not to mention you with your job. Just sleeping with me would ruin your career, let alone a relationship." 

"I know all of that and part of my conflict up until now has been just that: that this is completely wrong and forbidden but I don't care. For you, for this, I'm willing to risk it." 

"You can't." 

"Who says I can't?" he muttered and she sighed, closing her eyes. 

As strongly as she felt for him she didn't believe herself to be important enough to do this. She wasn't worth it. And it hurt but if she cared for him, she'd let him go and never speak of what had happened between them that night. She couldn't hurt him. 

"Armitage, you can't risk your life for me, everything you have ever done, for me," She sat up and looked down at him with pleading, hurting eyes. "I'm not worth it. I'm not worth enough for you." 

"Please don't say that, it's not true," he whispered, reaching for her hand which she let him hold for a moment before pulling away so he sat up too. "Lia...you're worth everything. I would give you the galaxy if I could because of how valuable you really are."