Drive me Wild > Stiles Stilinski fan fic

Chapter 13 - Opening up

Trigger Warning: hey guys, this chapter will go into depth of Emily's past. It will include bullying, abuse and self harm. If these are things that trigger you please move on to the next chapter. I've already given a brief summary of what happened earlier in this story so you don't need to read this chapter to fully understand the story, it's only to fully understand Emily's past. I have written from my own experiences and dealings with bullies and self harm, not saying this is all accurate to my experiences though just exaggerated for the purpose of the story. Anyway thank you guys for reading this far I really do appreciate all of you and I hope you're enjoying my story.

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"I started High School by myself, I had no one so I became like a lost puppy. This girl named Chloe saw this and what I thought was kindness at the time turned out to be preying on the weak. She was my best friend I told her everything, my secrets, my fears, my crushes and my family problems. She was the only person I told these things to, I naively trusted her. It was just us two in our friendship until a few years later when she started to become close to Laura and Ethan. Laura and Ethan were very aggressive and always started fights, she knew they scared me. She told them how scared I was and they used this against me, they would always put me down, make me feel so worthless and weak. I was insecure and I didn't have anyone else in my life so I believed everything they told me, about how ugly I was, how stupid... how annoying and boring. I did everything they told me to and if I didn't I was left out, I craved their attention so much. It consumed me, I spent everyday trying to make them happy", I paused for a while, trying to not let the tears that were swelling in my eyes fall. "Chloe had a lot of relationships and once they became her exes I wasn't allowed to talk to them at all which made me even lonelier as it was most of the boys in the school and it limited my interaction with people at my school. She was very strict on this, she always warned me that if I ever talked to one of her exes that she'd make me life a living hell, I knew she was telling the truth and that she would make me life hell but I just didn't know how far she'd go. She went out with a boy called Callum, he was my friend before he was her boyfriend so when they broke up I found it difficult to just ignore him. He also felt the same so he tried to talk to me any chance he got. Once at a party while waiting for the toilet, he started talking to me about our exams and I was a bit tipsy and talked back not realising what I was doing. Laura saw this and totally spun the story around and made out like I was all over Callum. Chloe didn't believe me when I told her the truth, instead she kept her promise and made my life hell. It started with her calling me names as I walked down the corridor at school, she didn't hang out with me anymore and would throw things at me in class. It wasn't enough for them so they began getting physical, in P.E they would tackle me or trip me up. I began avoided our P.E lessons they caught on and that's when it got worse".

"Worse?!" Stiles blurted out. "Sorry, carry on".

"It's okay. Yeah, it got worse. They missed their P.E lesson and went looking for me throughout the school, they soon found me in the girls toilets. I was hiding in one of the stalls, they acted like they wanted to be friends again just to make me open the door but when I did instead of forgiving me they pulled my hair and beat me to the floor. I screamed for them to stop but this made them want to carry on more. They laughed as they punched me more and more, when I began bleeding they got their fill and left me on the floor. An older student found me in the toilets and took me to my head of year, we don't have nurses in England like you do out here. Teachers are trained in first aid but we don't have a nurse. However, we did have a school policeman who tried to get me to tell him what happened but I was too terrified of Chloe and her minions to tell on them. This became a regular thing among spreading rumours and turning everyone against me. They followed me after school and would taunt me, pull my hair out and burn me with cigarettes. The more I screamed the more they wanted to carry on so I learned to bite my tongue, literally I would bite my tongue so much it would bleed and one time I actually bit the end off. Of course my parents noticed but I just told them that I started playing netball and the injuries were from that, I also wore long sleeves clothes and avoided taking them off in front of anyone. Soon cigarettes and their fist became boring and... and". It took a deep breath trying to find my strength, tears had involuntarily began falling down my face. Stiles kept quiet but he did gently place his hand over my hand that rested on my knee. "Um, they began bringing razor blades to the beatings, they would get ahold of me and force me to cut myself. They said if I didn't they would do it deeper, they would cut my throat and I didn't know if they would or not but I didn't want to find out so I did as they told me to. This soon became a bad habit of mine and I began doing it to myself when they weren't around. I did it because I thought I deserved it. They noticed the fresh cuts and would make me reopen them. This was a routine for me, go to school get beat up, go home cut myself and the cycle would continue". I brushed my free hand against my arm, feeling the bumps where my scars were. I had done well to hide them under makeup and clothing. "I thought it was never going to end until one day in the changing room I was changing my shirts, I had always brought spares as the blood would get on them. I hadn't realised that the P.E teacher had walked in and she saw my arms. She refused to believe they were from my imaginary cat. She took me to her office and interrogated me until I broke. I told her everything, I begged her not to tell anyone but obviously it would be irresponsible of her not to tell anyone. So she told the school police officer who asked me further questions then called my mum. From there I reluctantly made a statement but I didn't want to go to court so it didn't go much further, they got community service and that's it. I stopped going to school for a while, I was planning on redoing the year. I spent time with a counsellor and I got some of my confidence back and began trusting people. During this time my dad was offered the job to move here and with him now being single and available to move, he took the job and I joined him. Growing up I believed that no one liked me and I didn't deserve happiness, I thought I had gotten over those insecurities  but becoming friends with you guys proved that they were still present. I felt so happy and so wanted with you guys, it felt too good to be true so I distanced myself because I didn't want you to one day realise that I'm actually annoying. I was trying to protect myself but instead I made things worse".

Silence fell upon the jeep, I fiddled with my shoe laces hoping that stiles would say something, anything. He didn't, instead he leant over and embraced me. He held me tightly while placing his hand on the back of my head and rubbing my hair. I hugged him back, pain released from my body and I felt calm and comforted. I have never felt like this before, the feeling overwhelmed me and I began sobbing into Stiles shoulder. We stayed like this for a few minutes until Stiles pulled back, breaking the hug. "I am so sorry Emily, you didn't deserve any of that. You're so goddamn brave you know that right?" I didn't reply. "You are strong and funny and amazing a-and beautiful". His eyes sparkled with sadness as the green light from the supermarket shone on him. He was trying to make me feel better but I could tell her never been in this situation before and didn't know what to say. "I am way more annoying than you could ever be anyway. You have become a great friend to us Emily, now that you're in our lives we wouldn't want you to leave us"

"Thank you Stiles, that really means a lot to me. I just want to explain to the other but I don't think I want to talk about this situation again for a while". I wiped my eyes with my sleeves.

"Don't you worry about them, I'll talk to them", stiles said reassuringly.

"Thank you". I sniffed my nose which made an awfully loud snort. I giggled with embarrassment at this and stiles joined in. He fumbled in his pockets for a while before producing a tissue that had clearly been stuffed in his pocket. I took it off him and wiped my nose with it. I place the tissue under my sleeve in case I needed it again. Even though stiles didn't know exactly what to say or do, I was finding this moment more comforting and helpful than my counselling sessions had ever been. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly, his hand was warm on my cold skin. He placed his forehead on mine and with his free hand tangled it in my hair behind my head.  I closed my eyes enjoying this intimate moment between us. A smile formed on my face as an overwhelming feeling filled my chest, his lips were inches away from mine and all I wanted to do was taste them. I moved my face upwards so that our noses were touching and I caressed his nose with mine. He must've liked this as his gripped on my hair became tighter. I felt a pulling sensation which sent shivers down my spine, I longed for more. However, that wouldn't be happening tonight as my phone began vibrating in my pocket. I sighed in annoyance as I moved my head away from Stiles, I grabbed my phone from out of my pocket and watched as 'dad' popped up on my screen. He was calling me but I didn't answer in time so the call ended, after a few seconds I received a text. 'When are you coming home?' I rolled my eyes while replying 'in the next half an hour'.

"Everything okay?" Stiles asked, his face in the same position.

"Yeah my dad was just wondering when I was coming home". I placed my phone back in my pocket. Internally cursing at my dad as he has just ruined this moment.

"Let's get you home then". Stiles started the car and drove out of the car park. On the way home I thought about what could've happened between Stiles and I if my dad hadn't of called. Would we have kissed? Would Stiles want to kiss me? I actually thought about it all night, even after Stiles took us home. I felt a strength inside me as I can finally start to move on from that part of my life and move on with my new one here at Beacons Hills with my new friends.